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-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:52 pm
Everyone likes to think they are the middle of the road.. but that is really us, not yeshivish, not modern.. but frum k'halacha. (think lakewood standard school ie. oros, aderes, shiras devorah, machon.. )
Ok so my teen daughter is telling me that all the girls wear long skirts and short socks. I grew up wearing longer socks, until the knee even if my skirt was long, or definitely longer so that when I went in and out of a car, nobody was able to see my uncovered legs.
But she's trying to convince me every day it's fine if there's a small gap.. because EVERYBODY wears short socks. And she is right, because I do see it.
so here's my question. When did this new trend start and become okay? And two how do I address this with my daughter??. Please don't come at me that I am being unrealistic. It is definitely not the norm for our circles a few years ago.
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amother
Clover
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:54 pm
I’m not really seeing that. Girls are wearing knee socks with long skirts among all the girls I see.
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amother
Amethyst
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:55 pm
Is it the end of the world?
I say this as someone who covers her legs but realize it’s possible my daughters won’t.
Regular far rockaway middle of the road
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:56 pm
When I was in high school skirts were midi length so we had to wear knee socks or tights. Now that they made them ankle length girls are wearing shorter socks because they can "get away" with it. I don't think all the girls are wearing it but the ones that like to push limits are.
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:57 pm
I see it too.
My daughters say the same thing.
Please speak to your rav for hadracha as different locales will have different standards and it's possible that the new standard in yours is that this is ok and not something to worry about. And if it's not ok, what should your role as a parent be vs stepping back....
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:00 pm
amother Dahlia wrote: | When I was in high school skirts were midi length so we had to wear knee socks or tights. Now that they made them ankle length girls are wearing shorter socks because they can "get away" with it. I don't think all the girls are wearing it but the ones that like to push limits are. |
Some high schools have rule of mid length skirts only. No ankle length and no right under the knee.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:06 pm
There’s nothing wrong with wanting your daughter to wear knee socks, but you’re doing exactly what you said in your first sentence, thinking you’re middle of the road…. when that is yeshivish. Perhaps not ultra yeshivish, but why not call it what it is? Knee socks is a yeshivish hashkafa. If you follow that hashkafa, why not own it? I never get this whole mentality of yeshivish people saying they’re not yeshivish. White shirts and black hats are yeshivish hashkafa. Yet so many people who dress like that claim they’re not yeshivish. I don’t get it. Maybe this should be a spinoff.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:07 pm
amother Impatiens wrote: | Some high schools have rule of mid length skirts only. No ankle length and no right under the knee. |
So those girls are probably not the ones wearing short socks.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:12 pm
amother Dahlia wrote: | So those girls are probably not the ones wearing short socks. |
Correct.
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amother
Bronze
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:15 pm
I’ve been wearing short socks with a long skirt ever since high school (16 years ago) and I see plenty of bais yaakov girls doing the same (monsey)
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amother
Trillium
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:17 pm
I'm having the same issue with my daughter going into 7th grade. Lakewood school etc I bought her crew socks to wear with a long skirt but she started wearing them with a midi Kiki rikki and she's over bas mitzvah my legs are always covered and it's been a fight this summer help whats with this new trend even the sleep away camps the girls are doing this I know cause I worked in one this summer when did this become the new norm and what do I do
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:18 pm
I am not talking about wearing short socks to school, so the uniform skirt length is not in this equation. I am talking about all summer!!!! and days off. I saw many girls this summer in my job capacity and I stick to what I noticed. And I only noticed, BECAUSE I WAS ABLE TO SEE how high the sock went!! and answering the comment about yeshivish.
Please allow me to rephrase. I am in the yeshivish world. I am not yeshivish. (Hungarian, balabatish if you will.) You must not be part of that world if you don't get that nuance. That's OK but there IS a difference. Because no, yeshivish girls are not the ones dressing with short socks ( think schools like meon, bais yaakov, bais shaindel)
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amother
Blonde
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:34 pm
My girls in Oros wear such long uniform skirts that they do wear short socks to school because you can’t see the top of them. They have also been wearing short socks with their long denim skirts in the summer and I don’t care because you can’t tell they’re not knee socks and don’t see a gap in between the socks and the bottom of the skirts
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amother
Powderblue
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:38 pm
I went to camp with that type 20 years ago and they were all wearing short socks with their long skirts. And you could see it when they played sports. Yeshivish girls didn’t wear short socks then and they don’t wear them now. So I don’t think anything has changed recently
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amother
Lightgreen
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:43 pm
This isn't really new in the jpf world imo. I was in high school 12 years ago and we all wore short socks with long skirts.
I still wear short socks with long skirts. Grew up seeing it also.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:44 pm
amother OP wrote: | I am not talking about wearing short socks to school, so the uniform skirt length is not in this equation. I am talking about all summer!!!! and days off. I saw many girls this summer in my job capacity and I stick to what I noticed. And I only noticed, BECAUSE I WAS ABLE TO SEE how high the sock went!! and answering the comment about yeshivish.
Please allow me to rephrase. I am in the yeshivish world. I am not yeshivish. (Hungarian, balabatish if you will.) You must not be part of that world if you don't get that nuance. That's OK but there IS a difference. Because no, yeshivish girls are not the ones dressing with short socks ( think schools like meon, bais yaakov, bais shaindel) |
I am most definitely part of that world. And it irks me when people who clearly follow yeshivish hashkafa for some reason can’t admit it. Own it and be proud.
FWIW, growing up in the 80s, crew socks were in style and were pretty widespread in yeshivish type circles (we called them slouch socks 😄). Not super yeshivish, but the type you’re describing.
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simcha12plus
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:45 pm
this is the latest nisayon of tznius.
I am noticing it more and more in the last few weeks. women who would NEVER have done this two summers ago are out with very long skirts and NO leg wear. the girls are wearing long skirts and little socks without stockings under.
Yes, it is creeping into the middle of the road, and also to the right of middle.
It is NOT tznius.
Don’t fool yourself.
it is IMPOSSIBLE to walk in a long skirt and not see the top of the short socks.
in and out of the car, up and down curbs and sidewalks. you are seeing more and more skin of people’s legs, ESPECIALLY in circles where women would never go out in short skirts without hosiery. when they are wearing long skirts, they are not as careful.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:45 pm
amother Lightgreen wrote: | This isn't really new in the jpf world imo. I was in high school 12 years ago and we all wore short socks with long skirts.
I still wear short socks with long skirts. Grew up seeing it also. |
Yep, it was a shtick, I went to Bais Kaila over 20 years ago and wore short socks to school. The shtick was trying to get away with it by basically not moving your legs at all I guess? I don’t know, we were ridiculous as teens. But def nothing new.
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amother
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Wed, Aug 28 2024, 10:47 pm
happy7 wrote: | this is the latest nisayon of tznius.
I am noticing it more and more in the last few weeks. women who would NEVER have done this two summers ago are out with very long skirts and NO leg wear. the girls are wearing long skirts and little socks without stockings under.
Yes, it is creeping into the middle of the road, and also to the right of middle.
It is NOT tznius.
Don’t fool yourself.
it is IMPOSSIBLE to walk in a long skirt and not see the top of the short socks.
in and out of the car, up and down curbs and sidewalks. you are seeing more and more skin of people’s legs, ESPECIALLY in circles where women would never go out in short skirts without hosiery. when they are wearing long skirts, they are not as careful. |
Sorry but it’s not the latest nisayon. Maybe there was a decade or two when this wasn’t a nisayon. But this was common in decades past.
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