Splitting or separate bill

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 8:53 am

A group of us are going out to eat together. I am mindful of my spending as well as what I eat. Is it very weird for me to insist on a separate bill for myself. I plan to just enjoy a salad. The rest of them will most definitely split.

Molly Weasley

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 8:57 am

Depends on the social situation.

If the rest are expecting to split the bill, and it's not a prohibitive amount of money it's probably x worth being the outcast for a couple of dollars.

amother

Ivory

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 8:57 am

I don't think I've ever split a bill except when discussed in advance and we order loads of dishes buffet style, no individual portions.

You can mention something whilst looking through the menu.

"I'll be paying my own bill, okay?"

amother

White

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:17 am

This is why I stopped eating out with friends/family it always gets sticky and I can't afford take out so if friends want to get together I offer a walk in the park or something similar.

I would eat before and let them know you are just there to socialize due to diet restrictions or something like that . . . .

amother

Springgreen

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:20 am

That's why we don't ever split bills unless it's discussed prior, like a party or if we're treating someone.
Experience has taught it's always best for everyone to pay their own way. We share food sometimes but everyone pays for what they ordered.

pause

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:23 am

Usually people decide when they order. Does everyone want to taste from others' dishes? Is someone on a restrictive diet?

Often with 2 people it's easier to pay your own and with more people it's easier to split. However if for whatever reason you prefer one way, say it when you order. "I'll pay for my own food." Or "Let's each order our food but then split the cost." As long as you are up front about it, any way works.

Amarante

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:24 am

It depends on who I am eating with.

My close friends and family are not shnorrers so we split. In the event that someone has an obviously more expensive meal or get cocktails or equivalent, my experience is that they add that to the amount and so the split is fair.

I also am in situations where I vary picking up the tab with a friend because it is nicer.

With some people I do either ask for a separate tab or people just add up what they ate/drank - add 25% for tax and tip and then pay together. Again I don't typically eat with people who are shnorrers so no one has ever been cheated by someone paying less than what is owed - typically the amount is a bit more than what bill, tax and a generous tip would be.

amother

Jetblack

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:40 am

Unless splitting has been discussed beforehand, the auto assumption is everyone pays their own bill

You can tell the waiter at a point during your meal you’d like to pay for your items, so when it’s time for the check you can play dumb and say you already paid your portion

watergirl

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:41 am

I never split. I just say at the start of the meal, I need to have a separate check. Don't make it weird. If it gets weird, I say, I'd love to split but I can't, sorry. That's all.

Cheiny

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:49 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m not a fan of splitting, because inevitably there’s usually someone who orders a lot more dishes or more expensive items than some others and it can get sticky. Also, others might hesitate to order something more pricey that they might want because they won’t want to seem like they’re taking advantage of the others who will be splitting the bill.

I think there’s nothing wrong with saying, “It’s easier if the waiter gives us separate checks…” and it also eliminates the problem of having to figure out exactly how much each owes… if they choose to split anyway, you can tell the waiter you’d appreciate a separate check.

amother

Burlywood

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 10:42 am

I wouldn’t even imagine splitting the check, unless a very obvious situation like we got a pizza pie and a few large drinks and shared everything…
I don’t see how this could be a positive at all.

I would just tell them casually, if they make it a big deal I find that really weird

amother

Dill

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 11:24 am

I don't eat out often so when I do we all have a nice time and we split everything evenly . Means I'm paying more for items I didn't have or drinks that some people savored. It's not often and it's par for course