Kids always wanting things

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:36 am

My 2 oldest kids will non stop ask from things in return for doing something for me. I ask them to throw something out, clean their room, help me with the baby, etc. "Can I have a treat if I do it?", "what will I get?", " or "only if I get a treat". I'm losing it!!
Its not like I never give them treats, they get plenty. It makes me want to never give them anything.
They also in general are not grateful for what they have. How do I address this?
They are 7 and 6.

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:40 am

You say no. You’ll go throw it out because I asked and you’ll do it now nicely.

amother

Pansy

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:41 am

Try reverse psychology with them.
Ask them what YOU get when you cook supper for them, kiss their booboos, do hw with them, etc.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:47 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

You say no. You’ll go throw it out because I asked and you’ll do it now nicely.

I obviously do this, but its driving me nuts that they keep acting this way!

yachnabobba

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:47 am

Oh em gee . Terrible advice , your kids want things because they are normal
Just say evenly this is not a negotiation. You are going to do it because mommy said. And guess what you will get special treats when mommy says.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 7:48 am

amother Pansy wrote:

Try reverse psychology with them.
Ask them what YOU get when you cook supper for them, kiss their booboos, do hw with them, etc.

I have also done this. I've explained that we don't get rewarded for everything we do, etc.

amother

Steelblue

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:01 am

I'd make a new rule: no treats given immediately for doing anything, ever. Instead, if there's anything that would get rewarded with a treat, it's a reward chart, so they have to be able to delay gratification and do things without getting a treat.

heidi ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:14 am

Am I the only one who noticed that OP is talking about very young children- maybe you need to tailor your requests to their ages and realize they are children, not little helpers for you

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 9:54 am

heidi wrote:

Am I the only one who noticed that OP is talking about very young children- maybe you need to tailor your requests to their ages and realize they are children, not little helpers for you

Asking them to throw something out or clean up their toys is not age appropriate for a 7 and 6 yo?

↑ heidi

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 11:23 am

amother OP wrote:

Asking them to throw something out or clean up their toys is not age appropriate for a 7 and 6 yo?

Depends what you're asking them to throw out- a bag of garbage outside is not age appropriate
It is never age appropriate to ask such young children to help with a baby. Cleaning up a room is something to do together, not tell them to do.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Aug 26 2024, 11:31 am

heidi wrote:

You are overexagerating what I am asking them. Throw out their wrappers or paper plate, play with the baby so I can use the bathroom, or get me a diaper, and cleaning up their toys in their room(yes, with my help) imo is all very age appropriate requests.