Do you tag (put controls) you post seminary girl computer

amother

Seashell

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 5:45 pm

Please treat her as an adult
Chances are she’s going to want to filter it
Let her decide to take it to tag or set up a different filtering system
She’s old enough to get married and do this
Don’t get too involved or force it
As soon as she gets married she can get it removed anyway if she wants
But most likely a seminary girl knows and wants a filter

Raizle

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 5:57 pm

PinkFridge wrote:

I would assume that the hashkafah she's been exposed to presumes a filter, at any age and stage.

Yeah but at some point in time that filter should be her own choice and business, presumably as an adult. So I understand while she's still living at home, if it's presented as house rules I guess, but independently?

amother

↑ Ebony ↓

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 6:31 pm

amother Seashell wrote:

“Chance are” and “let her decide” and “most likely” is not enough for me. My house my rules. We don’t take any chances.

Like you said, when she gets married she can do what she wants but with something like this she doesn’t get a choice.

What happens if she chooses unfiltered internet? Then what?

amother

Lemon

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 6:47 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

It's really not something you can control. If she wants unfiltered internet, she can easily purchase her own device you know nothing about.

amother

Burgundy

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 6:48 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

This is a very important topic. 100% she must have a filter. It’s your house, your standards, you just spent loads of $$$ on sem to help her grow…she’s absolutely not ready to make a decision that she doesn’t need a filter. Everyone needs a filter, esp a newly minted sem girl.

She might tell you she’s independent, old enough to make her own decisions, etc which she’s right about, to an extent. But not with technology, that’s not negotiable. Be firm, be loving, stand your ground. You will
be grateful after

I agree that because it is your house you can set the standards, but in terms of if she is old enough to make decisions on her own I think that is a different point. Assuming that most post seminary girls are looking to start shidduchim and get married soon after coming home, my theory is if they are old enough to get married, they are old enough to make their own decisions. You can have a standard that in your house there needs to be a filter on every device, but to bring in the age/maturity into it can get sticky because when will she be “old enough” to make her own decisions then? Will you be making these decisions for her once she has her own home?

amother

↑ Ebony

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 7:20 pm

amother Burgundy wrote:

You can have a standard that in your house there needs to be a filter on every device, but to bring in the age/maturity into it can get sticky because when will she be “old enough” to make her own decisions then? Will you be making these decisions for her once she has her own home?

It’s not about age or maturity. We give her flexibility to make most decisions for herself at this point. Except when it comes to unfiltered internet in our house, It’s non-negotiable and applies to everyone in the household.

When she has her own home it’s up to her and her husband to make the decision about filtered internet.