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-> Working Women
amother
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 Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:41 pm
How parents can both work full time?
There are sick days.
Weeks on end where school is out.
Bills to pay.
Appointments to schedule and visit.
3 PM carpools when full time jobs end at 5.
Kitchens and bedrooms and bathrooms to clean.
Laundry to fold.
Shabbos to make.
And unless you’re making multiple six figures every year, cleaning help and nannies aren’t even realistic.
How?? I look at people with young kids like me, where both work full time, and I feel like we’re living in alternate universes. Who’s picking up the kids? Who’s dropping everything when their kid is sick or there’s no school or camp? Who’s spending their day making phone calls to schedule appointments, home repairs, etc? Who’s ordering groceries?
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:45 pm
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I find it doesnt work well if you can afford full time help or have one parent work from home/have a flexible scheule... My friends who work full time and spouses work full time have full time help. I have some family who both work full time and no full time help and they don't manage because exactly as you said there are sick days, kids have vacation days etc..
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:46 pm
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some people take 2 mornings carpool instead of a morning and afternoon for carpool if they are at work.
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:47 pm
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Some people also have downtime at their jobs that they can make phone calls and grocery orders. I work very part time now and don't have full time help and bring my child to work w me if they are home. It works because its only a few hours by job and also my kids are older but understand that most people cant just bring kids to work with them
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:48 pm
| amother Hyssop wrote: | | some people take 2 mornings carpool instead of a morning and afternoon for carpool if they are at work. |
Are you saying their friends pick up their kids for them? Interesting I haven’t known of people doing that especially with toddlers.
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:48 pm
Alternate schedules. Mom works 7-3, dad works 10-6. That s what we did while our kids were young. It was hard!!!
Thankfully as we moved up the ranks our jobs became more flexible where we can go in late, work from home occasionally, and cut back hours
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:48 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Are you saying their friends pick up their kids for them? Interesting I haven’t known of people doing that especially with toddlers. |
I am saying they carpool. Yes people with toddlers can carpool.
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:49 pm
| amother Hyssop wrote: | | Some people also have downtime at their jobs that they can make phone calls and grocery orders. I work very part time now and don't have full time help and bring my child to work w me if they are home. It works because its only a few hours by job and also my kids are older but understand that most people cant just bring kids to work with them |
Isn’t that dishonest though? When I worked full time in the past I would only make calls on my breaks
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:49 pm
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my sil and bil both work from home full time so they pay for after stay care and pick up kids later
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:50 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Isn’t that dishonest though? When I worked full time in the past I would only make calls on my breaks |
No its not dishonest if you don't have work to do why cant you be on your phone
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:50 pm
| amother Razzmatazz wrote: | Alternate schedules. Mom works 7-3, dad works 10-6. That s what we did while our kids were young. It was hard!!!
Thankfully as we moved up the ranks our jobs became more flexible where we can go in late, work from home occasionally, and cut back hours |
Yes but what about sick days or vacation days?
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:50 pm
| amother Hyssop wrote: | | No its not dishonest if you don't have work to do why cant you be on your phone |
If you don’t have work typically you go to your supervisor and tell them
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:51 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Yes but what about sick days or vacation days? |
some people live near family and family helps
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amother
Darkblue
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:51 pm
| amother OP wrote: | How parents can both work full time?
There are sick days.
Weeks on end where school is out.
Bills to pay.
Appointments to schedule and visit.
3 PM carpools when full time jobs end at 5.
Kitchens and bedrooms and bathrooms to clean.
Laundry to fold.
Shabbos to make.
And unless you’re making multiple six figures every year, cleaning help and nannies aren’t even realistic.
How?? I look at people with young kids like me, where both work full time, and I feel like we’re living in alternate universes. Who’s picking up the kids? Who’s dropping everything when their kid is sick or there’s no school or camp? Who’s spending their day making phone calls to schedule appointments, home repairs, etc? Who’s ordering groceries? |
We don't know how we do it. But we do it. One day at a time. And yes things are constantly coming up. And we take one day at a time. Otherwise we collapse thinking and planning in advance how it will be done because it's too big stressful.
For example kids are off 3 weeks now. The middle week we are taking off for a family trip. This week, we're doing one day at a time. One day at Bobby. One day with the cleaner and videos and crafts. One day play date. One day dh works from home and we reciprocate the play date. Some days there are in between fun camps that we send to (along with our salary for the week, but the big picture is having the job all year and the annual salary so we do it).
It's a can do attitude.
Cleaning help once a week (including folding clean laundry basket).
Laundry 1 load done per night.
Grocery shopping list gets made Tuesday night. Emailed before work Wednesday morning.
Unpack shopping order on Wednesday evening and also marinate Poultry.
Cook for shabbos Thursday evening.
Put up cholent and broil veggies and steak Friday.
Pay extra for private transportation.
If kid comes home sick from school go to doc immediately and see what doc says about school.
Take turns taking sick day/staying home/getting a remote day approved if necessary.
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:52 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Yes but what about sick days or vacation days? |
Vacation days - we hired teenagers to babysit. Child hamoed was always a scramble but we always managed to find someone. My husband and I alternated taking off when a child was sick, or we would each take off half a day
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:54 pm
| amother Darkblue wrote: | We don't know how we do it. But we do it. One day at a time. And yes things are constantly coming up. And we take one day at a time. Otherwise we collapse thinking and planning in advance how it will be done because it's too big stressful.
For example kids are off 3 weeks now. The middle week we are taking off for a family trip. This week, we're doing one day at a time. One day at Bobby. One day with the cleaner and videos and crafts. One day play date. One day dh works from home and we reciprocate the play date. Some days there are in between fun camps that we send to (along with our salary for the week, but the big picture is having the job all year and the annual salary so we do it).
It's a can do attitude. |
I dunno..I’ve tried working full time twice and both times I stopped. My husband gets home at 8 or later. Really the reason I ask is because we’re in debt and need more money but whenever I try to increase my hours I just about have a mental breakdown. So I want to know what I’m doing wrong.
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:54 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | If you don’t have work typically you go to your supervisor and tell them |
not at all. I work in a store atm. I don't have a supervisor to give me work. If its quiet I can do as I please which it was very quiet all summer. My friend is an OT. She has lots of down time. She writes reports.... She gets a lot done from work.
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:55 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I dunno..I’ve tried working full time twice and both times I stopped. My husband gets home at 8 or later. Really the reason I ask is because we’re in debt and need more money but whenever I try to increase my hours I just about have a mental breakdown. So I want to do what I’m doing wrong. |
My husbands gets home later than that and for many years I didn't work but we aren;t in debt bh
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:57 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | I dunno..I’ve tried working full time twice and both times I stopped. My husband gets home at 8 or later. Really the reason I ask is because we’re in debt and need more money but whenever I try to increase my hours I just about have a mental breakdown. So I want to know what I’m doing wrong. |
your not doing anything wrong. Its not easy!
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amother
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Tue, Aug 20 2024, 5:57 pm
| amother Razzmatazz wrote: | Alternate schedules. Mom works 7-3, dad works 10-6. That s what we did while our kids were young. It was hard!!!
Thankfully as we moved up the ranks our jobs became more flexible where we can go in late, work from home occasionally, and cut back hours |
Also how do you get to work at 7 with young kids? I can’t imagine nursing a baby and getting toddler ready and off to daycare by 7. Or does the dad do it all on his own plus davening and get to work by 10? I’m really just trying to understand.
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