Syrian in ashkanazi schools

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 4:28 am

I’m really curious if anyone here is Syrian (not just Sephardic) and sends to an ashkanazi school. Or knows someone that does. Brooklyn specifically because there are many Syrian schools.
If so what made you do it?
Dh and I talk about sending Ashland’s jokingly sometimes (cheaper tuition and all) but I wonder how much of a problem it’d really be.

*please keep the comments kind!*

amother

Beige

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 6:15 am

Up until around 1990 all (yeshivsh) Syrians in Brooklyn sent to Ashkenazi schools. It was never a problem. The schools all catered to allowing and acknowledging minhagim differences. Many ashkenaz schools still have many sfardim, albeit mostly not syrian.

amother

Oldlace ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 6:20 am

I grew up as a Syrian in an Ashkenazi school but I’d never do that to my kids. We just ended up being confused and not belonging to either community. Too SY for the Jay-dubs and too Ashky for the SYs. My DH had the same issue growing up.

I still don’t feel like I belong 100% but I am moving my kids to SY community and schools this year so that they won’t have the confusion we did. And yes the tuition is double.

WhatFor

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 6:29 am

If you have a choice to send to a school where all kids share your children's culture, or a choice to send to one where all kids except your children share a culture, I'd definitely choose the former.

We happen to send to a school that's very mixed, and we love that, but that's different to sending to a school where your kids are going to be the odd people out. If I were sending to a school where my kids were different from everyone else, I'd need a very good reason. School inevitably comes with enough challenges for children. No need to add more.

oohlala

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 7:02 am

We are Syrian and send to ashkenaz school but we live in passaic and there are no Syrian schools. However my husband grew up going to modern orthodox schools in north jerseys which always had both ashkenaz and Sephardic students. He didn’t grow up in the thick of Brooklyn Syrian culture. I don’t think we would send to Syrian schools even if we lived in Brooklyn.

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 7:39 am

I had a handful of Syrians at my BY type ashkenazi school (per grade) in Brooklyn when I was a kid. They were anomalous to me but intriguing to most others. In my view they were Among the most popular and socially ‘successful’ kids

amother

Aconite ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 8:23 am

amother Oldlace wrote:

Just an fyi..j dub is a derogatory term...as is ashky..stop using them..its quite offensive

Hudis1998

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 8:37 am

No one cares if you use the words Ashky or JDUB…I’m Ashkenaz and could not care less…

We are not a bunch of whiny liberals who can’t take a joke, please let’s not make this forum into that type of place

amother

Camellia ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 8:37 am

We had Syrians in my BY in Brooklyn. As far as I knew as a kid, they were the same as us even though they had slightly different minhagim. We didn’t treat them any differently they fit in and seemed happy.

amother

↑ Aconite ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 9:30 am

Hudis1998 wrote:

Speak for yourself...not for everyone

amother

↑ Oldlace

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 9:32 am

amother Aconite wrote:

Just an fyi..j dub is a derogatory term...as is ashky..stop using them..its quite offensive

You are right jdub isn’t nice and I apologize for using it but Ashky is literally a shortened version of Ashkenaz so I don’t see the problem with that. But I digress.

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 9:38 am

Unlike other forms of sfardi culture (unfortunately), Syrians are usually respected more in ashkenazi circles (we just assume you’re all multimillionaires lol)
So don’t worry about her social standing. I am related to many Syrians and have a lot of Syrian friends in the Brooklyn Syrian community. I would send to a Syrian school if I was Syrian in Brooklyn. Maybe in Lakewood I wouldn’t

amother

Glitter ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 2:25 pm

I'm Syrian with my girls in Ashkenaz school in Lakewood. I love my school, I think it's nice for my girls to learn different ways, we're very Syrian at home so they get both ways. All around positive.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:16 pm

amother Glitter wrote:

Right I love that. But it’s different in Brooklyn, much more normal in Lakewood

amother

Cyan

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:51 pm

Hudis1998 wrote:

I personally am not bothered by such words being used but they are meant to be offensive and divisive. They absolutely should not be used. Can’t you take a joke is a standard line used by the bullies

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 3:59 pm

Hudis1998 wrote:

No one? Do you know this as fact? 🤦‍♀️

amother

Tangerine

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 4:13 pm

What does JDUB mean?
And what is so different with Syrian? We don't have a big Syrian community in UK, mostly Moroccon, Teimani, Indian, S&P. Would love to know

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 4:20 pm

amother Tangerine wrote:

What does JDUB mean?
And what is so different with Syrian? We don't have a big Syrian community in UK, mostly Moroccon, Teimani, Indian, S&P. Would love to know

There’s a big Syrian community in Brooklyn, most Syrians live here and then there are also smaller communities in South America. So because we kinda stuck together, we’re not as integrated with the ashkanazim as other Sephardic groups. Like we have our own schools, shul, wedding halls… basically our own separate community.
Of course we don’t have to only use our own wedding halls but most do. And ashkanazim can use them as well but most don’t. Makes sense?

amother

Fern

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 4:34 pm

I live oot so almost all syrians are in the general community schools. Where I live the kids often don't get enough at home to make up for not being in Syrian schools so they do lose out.

amother

Cornsilk

Sun, Aug 18 2024, 4:48 pm

amother OP wrote:

No. Still have no clue what JDUB is supposed to mean. I hate being called Ashky though. It always is used in a negative sense- like jokes about tasteless Ashky food or Ashky’s starving on Pesach. I’m not going to stop anyone from saying it, but I definitely don’t appreciate it.