I don’t sleep train but…

amother

↑ Dodgerblue ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 1:03 am

tichellady wrote:

What in the world??? Why would a sleep tent intended to help a baby not be woken by her siblings all night be abusive??? Babies can’t wear sleep masks, this is a better option for a light sleeper

Because they are claustrophobic and hot inside. Would an adult want to sleep in them?

amother

Lime

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 3:03 am

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Thanks for explaining. I would just nurse her right away to save you and her all the frustration. It’s really hard though.

I seccond this. She will probably nurse for smoother herself. I did this with my first son, he didn't have siblings but yet a very light sleep when he was a baby. I also implemented a bed in the floor for him so I could lay there with him and rest a little bit in the process. Now he is almost 3 and sleeps through the night without any problems. It is just a stage.

OddoneOut1

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 3:48 am

amother Oleander wrote:

When your child wakes up in the middle of the night, crying, and you feed her, you're essentially teaching her that when she cries, eventually you nurse her. And she does not have the skills to put herself to sleep. So oc she screams until she's being nursed because she does not know that she's only been out for 20 minutes as opposed to 3 hours.

You keep saying that you refuse to sleep train but you obviously have no idea what it actually is. Because it's not abuse. Or bad. It just means that you using some sort of method, of your choice, and following it through night after night to help your child learn how to put themselves back to sleep so that they don't keep needing someone else's help.

This

amother

Coffee ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 7:09 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m pulling out my hair.
My 13 month old goes down beautifully for naps. I nurse her right before bed and then she will go in great.
However. She is sooo sensitive. She sleeps with a sibling in the room. So if that kid opens the door to get something or go to the bathroom and she’s not fast asleep yet, she screams and screams and won’t calm down and go back to sleep unless I nurse her again. This can be twenty min after I just nursed annd put her down. And she will scream for hours after that. I don’t sleep train but I tried letting her cry bec I am losing it. And I feel terrible doing it and it doesn’t even work. I tried going in there and staying with her, holding her and rubbing her back but she just screams and. Screams until I’m going insane and finally nurse her after a few hours. This went on last night for 3-4 hours until I finally gave in and nursed her. Last night it was bec my older kid slammed a door next to hers. Tonight the kid who sleeps I. Her room realized she forgot to use the bathroom and left the room to go. (Yes there is a sound machine) And now she’s screaming again and I’m going to lose it.
Side point is she still wakes up in middle of the night sometimes to nurse which I’m in with I just nurse quickly and put her back down. But this I’m not ok with. There have been nights that she started screaming 10 minutes after being out to bed at 6:30-7 and continued until 10-11 pm.
I know she’s not hungry. She eats very well. Also many nights she goes straight to sleep bec she’s uninterrupted and is totally fine and sleeps for hours.
I’m happy to hear any advice, but I’m not going to do sleep training.

I think the sibling has to adjust to that. Forgot something- tough luck. Wait until the baby is in deep sleep. Or find other arrangements.

amother

Mintcream ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 7:25 am

Firstly, its great that shes ok with you putting her down awake in the crib. I dont have that, Im still nursing my 18 month old to sleep.

And please dont use a sleep tent, they are hot, stuffy and abusive.
Amd I do think your prob putting her to sleep too early, put her in at 8:00 she will fall right asleep.

And whats the big deal, so nurse her back to sleep.

amother

↑ Obsidian ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 8:29 am

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Because they are claustrophobic and hot inside. Would an adult want to sleep in them?

I actually just used one because I had to share a room with my toddler. I was unsure but he loved it. He wanted to play inside when he was awake too and when he went to sleep I thought I might leave it open until he was asleep, but he asked me to close it. I kept checking on him and checking the temperature through the night and it was not hot or stuffy, but if it was there’s actually a slot to put in a fan. It worked wonderfully.

amother

↑ Obsidian ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 8:32 am

amother Mintcream wrote:

Oh dear, you sound strict and rigid..

Which part sounds strict and rigid to you? That she wanted her baby to get sleep at a normal hour? That she used a sleep tent so her baby wasn’t bothered by the light and people walking around? That she used a noise machine because it soothes baby and helps him/her to fall asleep? That she tried to be quiet in the same room as the baby because she didn’t want to wake him/her? This all just sounds very logical to me.

ittsamother

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 8:37 am

amother Obsidian wrote:

The reasoning here is that Mintcream decided sleep tents are abusive and therefore anyone who uses one, regardless of ANY other factors coming into play here, is rigid and abusive.

Well guess what, anyone can play at that game. I think raising an 18 month old to be unable to soothe themselves to sleep and need to rely on others in some way is abusive, so by that logic Mintcream is abusive. See how easy that is?

amother

↑ Coffee ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 9:31 am

amother Hydrangea wrote:

So with all your kids you were perfectly in control now this kid is teaching u a lesson, Hashem wants to show you who is really in control here. About time to rely on Him and learn different sleeping methods so you don’t need to pull your hair out!

Well thank you how is it helpful? Hashem was in control with other kids too, He just let it work out…

amother

↑ Dodgerblue ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 9:45 am

amother Mintcream wrote:

This.
Mintcream is spot on.
Crib tents are abusive, there is a reason you are getting so defensive. It’s a prison for the child and so claustrophobic.
Op, doesn’t sound like the type of mother to use them tho.

↑ tichellady ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 9:57 am

amother Dodgerblue wrote:

Because they are claustrophobic and hot inside. Would an adult want to sleep in them?

If your child doesn’t like it they will let you know. My son loved his and was able to sleep much better with it. We had a slumberpod which passes all safety tests and has an insert for a fan. Our house doesn’t get hot so it wasn’t an issue, if anything our kids room is usually cold. You shouldn’t throw around the word abuse so casually especially when you have no idea what you are talking about.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 12:35 pm

amother Hydrangea wrote:

Um, wow.
Also not accurate. As I said I have a house full of kids and have evolved into letting go lol. I did sleep train my older ones. The last few as I said earlier I took a step back and let things play out naturally. The opposite of being in control!
In any case the advice on here that is resonating for me is to just nurse her back to sleep. Yes even if it’s a few min after I nursed and put her in. So I will try that iyh.

And the poster who said that I may be putting her in too early. So it’s possible but I don’t think so because one- I’m not rigid about that time. Depending on her naps that day she will sometimes go in later but I don’t see a difference. There are many nights I put her in at 6:30/7 (which is just a baseline) and if I’m lucky and she isn’t disturbed she falls asleep nicely.

amother

Seablue ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 2:25 pm

I just wrote a long response and it got deleted 😞
In short, to those posters saying the slumberpod is abusive and rigid - WTH
I’m a super chilled mom and it was a lifesaver for us. I literally wanted to curl up in that cozy little cave with my baby. He loved it.

OP, I don’t believe in CIO or anything remotely like it, but I used a sleep consultant to help train my baby using other methods. I don’t remember the details, but she worked with my comfort level and it helped get him on a schedule. He’s a bad sleeper in general (he’s autistic), but my point is that not all sleep training is equal and not all of it is bad. It’s a general term and there are things you can do that you may be comfortable with to help your baby sleep better.

amother

↑ Dodgerblue ↓

Fri, Aug 09 2024, 2:38 pm

amother Seablue wrote:

Slumberpods can feel claustrophobic, hot an uncomfortable for baby. Moms put their babies and poor baby is put into a black prison.

It also prevents mom from knowing what’s going on with their baby.

The temps rise in them and I would love to see moms sleeping in them and being happy about it.

Put baby to sleep in a proper comfortable crib and let them breathe air and be comfortable.
Also it’s good to have babies accustomed to normal darkness not the heavy black darkness that becomes the normal.
Then every time you travel you need dark out shades and its best if kids are use to normal.