Off grid | Imamother

crust ↓

Wed, Aug 07 2024, 7:36 pm

amother Petunia wrote:

This whole thread reminds me of the book The Great Alone by Kristin Hannah. As a fellow introvert myself, I still find it a little worrisome for someone to want to be that much off the grid.

It can really "feel" this way to an introvert until you allow yourself to actually explore it.

I always dreamed about living alone on an island away away away from all civilization.

Until I moved to a private home with half an acre of land plus a very wooded backyard which isn't part of my property but is going to remain woods for the foreseeable future.

I stopped dreaming about that isolated island.
I love my place.
And here's the thing. I even love my neighbors. I enjoy the people that I thought I needed a break from.

I think its incredible.

Sometimes, a minor change makes you realize you didn't need something so out of the ordinary.

I used to think I need at least 10 acres to feel like I have my space.
Guess what? Half an acre is more than enough. I would hate for it to be more space between the houses.

The house has alot to be desired. It's the property and the space that did it for me.

So no. I don't find it worrisome when someone says they want to live off grid. I see it for what it is.

If you're an introvert and you've lived against your nature for the better part of your life you can't imagine what one mile out of the city can do for your soul.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Aug 07 2024, 7:56 pm

I grew up in the sticks. I was left to entertain myself as a kid. I explored. I learned to appreciate the solitude of nature and the outdoors very much including my own company. I dont think I will ever get used to city life or even suburbia.
My original post was asking if there is a legitimate case to move away from a community.
I dont understand how it is we used to be farmers and herders back in the day and still there was a community but now we are literally on top of each other.
Being in the sticks is different from solitary confinement. There is a flexibility that makes living out in rural areas doable.

↑ crust

Wed, Aug 07 2024, 7:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

To answer your question- you're right.
There were always Jews living without minyan in the villages.

However, it is hard to stay connected to Judaism and Torah without that.

amother1223

Wed, Aug 07 2024, 8:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

OP PM me

amother

↑ Mintcream

Thu, Aug 08 2024, 4:42 am

amother OP wrote:

If I understood farming and herding back in the day in Israel or in Europe, the model was more of an Israeli village or shtetlach, with a few families. Yes, people lived places without a minyan, but they where also completely isolated from the non- jews around them who where incredibly anti-semetic.

Its hard for me to believe that you can live completely cut off from human interaction and not need any relationships. When the relationships are all non- jews and you have no community, its hard to stay frum.

Rural America then rural europe or israel by virtue of the size and space in the US compared to europe or Israel. It is very isolated an individualistic and besides for jewish aspects (mikva, shul, kosher food) it means living somewhere with very little resources. There is a reason you can make more as a DR. if you go to a rural isolated area - they have a real dr. shortage. Ambulances take time.

My grandparents used to live in Iowa - it could take them 20 minutes to drive to the nearest neighbor.

That is wonderful when everything is good, but catastrophic if there is an emergency. I would not recommend doing something like that at this stage of your life.

This is very expensive, but it is an example of what I would look for. Its in Pomona/Haverstraw, so its near monsey and hatzala, dr.'s, hostpital, agenceys for home care (as you age) and kosher food and there is a shul 35 minutes away, so close enough to go if you want, but far enough that you don't have too.

Its suburbia, but isolated from neighbors.
https://www.zillow.com/homedet.....pid/?
or this in New City
https://www.zillow.com/homedet.....zpid/

Now, if you are a normal person who can't afford that kind of budget I would say the catskills or new jersey.
New Jersey will have better resources for medical and aging, Catskills will be more isolated.

I think your dream is possible - you just need to take all the aspects into consideration.

amother

↑ Black

Thu, Aug 08 2024, 5:53 pm

amother OP wrote:

Your feeling are valid! Like I shared before, I relate and I've tried it.

I think it's fine to move away from the community in a sense of how you're asking but what could be throwing people off is that the post is actually titled "off grid". Off grid IS closer to solitary confinement than "being in the sticks".

The latter has amenities even if a little spaced out. Although, there are even off grid communities. Though not any jewish ones. You might benefit from researching and exploring nomadic life and seeing how you can find the blend. I always felt like a wandering Jew and like that is something my spirit wants. I honor that by living further away from the city and in a place that has access to mountains...which I explore quite frequently (along with animal sanctuaries).

Sometimes it's just a day trip, other times for extended trips. A week, a month. I still have a home base that has more reasonable access to places for family/DH, but my RV and I are best buddies. I wonder if that would be a good idea for you. (Vanlife or RV life on the side while still having a settle home space close enough to a community but still far enough away that you are in nature. Or even the reverse, doing fulltime RV life and you can move closer to minyanim for chagim or as needed since your home moves!)

A dog, a cat, and some other small animals are workable as well. Maybe plant some things too! Basically, start with implementing some of the things your spirit wants into your life now and as time passes and you see what does and doesn't speak to you, you'll have more information of what to do from there. It's your spirit speaking to you so you really have to lean into that (instead of random Imamothers) to know how to make something work for you even if it is "socially off". (mine has guided me and I have found the community that works for me based on its guidance and following its lead. But you have to start smaller in my experience).

amother

Cyclamen

Thu, Aug 08 2024, 5:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

I really, really want to move to the middle of nowhere. But it’s wrong to live away from a community and minyan. But I so crave being alone. I am actually a loner by nature. I am beyond introverted. I love peace and quiet. After the kids grow up I dont know how I am going to stay in the place I am at. My DH would be happy to do the same, only coming to a minyan for chagim
Am I weird? Is this allowed?

My husband and I are doing this when the kids are grown.