How much debt do you have? (NOT including your home)

amother

Burgundy

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:53 am

realized I clicked no debt but we might still owe on a big home repair that we did. it's on a payment plan and not sure if it's done or not. could have paid it all but it was interest free so why not.

amother

DarkCyan ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 7:56 am

amother SandyBrown wrote:

This is a very interesting thing to say
Like you were able to control and you did something and live within your means

Many people do live within their means and then cv things happen completely out of their control that makes them go in debt

We have huge medical expenses this year which is obviously not within our control.

But technically I guess you can say I did not plan correctly as we have bh a large family and it's very expensive. I call it "good" debt as it's the only way we can afford our family but I guess technically it's still debt. I have approx 100k in debt between student loans, car loans, credit card and private loans.

↑ shabbatiscoming

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:02 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

Me and my husband have different views on money, when we first got married it was really hard, he wanted to spend on takeout restaurants and I wanted to save for vacation. And he said b"h we have enough for both.
I spoke to a few Rabanim and they all said it's not the wife's job to worry about finances. She should trust her husband, ( providing he's obviously "normal") and know that he knows how to take care of finances.
I still struggle with it, he was on his own for about 15 years, and I'm worried he doesn't really know what's in store iy"h with kids, and I was with my family until I got married and know what's it's like ( I was almost 30).
My mother also said she has no idea about any money going on in the house, and a few people I spoke to also. Apparently "that's the way it's supposed to be"
It's hard for me, but we talking it through and learning how to deal with eachothers money "habits"

I think the rabbis gave you terrible advice and no, thats NOT the way its supposed to be.
What if something happened tomorrow and you needed to know things, but you had no idea?

amother

Blueberry

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:07 am

We owe fil money because of our house, and credit card debt , interest free also our house. Does that count as no debt? We're paying it down slowly BH.
We didn't remortgage when we made a large extension because there were complications. We hope to take out a bit more when we remortgage to pay even more of our debt back.

BH no other debt, and we manage but more or less live month to month with a little extra.

amother

Darkblue

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:19 am

90k- student loans for my masters (therapy).
I owe a family member $6,314.74 (told me to pay back slowly and not worry about it, but I still worry). I had alot of health issues this past year unfortunately
Owe my sister $3959

The 3959 was my CC debt, my sister is very wealthy and told me to borrow it and pay her back $500 each month which is doable for me so ill pay her by next year iyh.

amother

↑ Periwinkle ↓

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:20 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I think the rabbis gave you terrible advice and no, thats NOT the way its supposed to be.
What if something happened tomorrow and you needed to know things, but you had no idea?

I said I struggle with it, it's not my style, ( and never will be) and it's something we talk about often.
And yes, it was frustrating to hear that from alot of Rabbanim. I never read Laura Doyles book, but I see here it's very controversial.

amother

Coral

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:23 am

Quote:

I read a book that mentioned this is very healthy for a husband wife relationship. But I also have a friend that did this and her husband wasn’t paying the mortgage and she didn’t know of course. They went foreclosed on and lost everything

My grandfather did all the financial stuff. When he died suddenly of a heart attack in his 50s my grandmother was so lost. It's important for both parties to be aware even if one takes care of it.

My husband takes care of finances, but I have access to the bank. I can easily see what gets paid. I don't snoop, but can if I needed.

amother

↑ Periwinkle

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:24 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

I think the rabbis gave you terrible advice and no, thats NOT the way its supposed to be.
What if something happened tomorrow and you needed to know things, but you had no idea?

I actually know of someone that the wife took care of EVERYTHING and then she was nifter and the husband did not know anything, (almost like what health insurance do we have)
He had someone at work that was working for him for over 20 years, go through paper work during Shiva and sort it all out. She now takes care of his personal finances, and she said it was a mess when that happened, he, nor his kids knew a thing about when to pay something like the mortgage...

amother

Lawngreen

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:24 am

Bh we don’t have debt right now. We try very hard to live within our means.
That being sad, life is insanely expensive and we are scared how the future will pay out in terms of making simchas and bigger tuitions.
We made a BM this year and that kind of set us on the yikes how will we do this a few more times and then the even bigger expenses.
Even when tryin to “live within your means” it’s not always possible to just bring in more income.
We do our part and daven to Hashem for help.

amother

↑ DarkCyan

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 8:28 am

amother Periwinkle wrote:

This happened to a friend of mine. She took care of all the finances and her husband didnt knows a thing. She got very sick suddenly and passed away young, she was the breadwinner AND he had no idea about anything. Knew nothing about the family finances at all. It can happen either way. BOTH husband and wife should know about the family finances.

justforfun87

Fri, Aug 02 2024, 9:30 am

We have close to 100k in student debt that due to interest has never seemed to come down despite paying each month. :/. I am a big believer in avoiding debt but my husband feels for public student loans to pay the bare minimum which is still $700+ a month.