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Forum
-> Parenting our children
Do you lay with your kids to sleep?
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| No. I do our bedtime routine & leave |
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42% |
[ 72 ] |
| I lay with my child for up to 5 minutes |
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10% |
[ 18 ] |
| I lay with my child for 10-15 min |
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13% |
[ 22 ] |
| I lay with my child for however long it takes, even if it's an hour |
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33% |
[ 56 ] |
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| Total Votes : 168 |
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amother
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 Sun, Jul 28 2024, 6:55 pm
See poll.
If yes, up til how old?
Eta- dh thinks my 4 yo should be stayed with until she's sleeping. Often for over an hour. He says everyone does that.
So here we are lol.
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amother
Blonde
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:07 pm
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Never heard of this concept till I saw it here
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2
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amother
NeonBlue
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:14 pm
I think it’s healthy for kids to learn how to be ok being by themselves and how to fall asleep alone. My parents sometimes still have to sit with my 11 year old brother for him to fall asleep (Ben zikunim with big age gap).
I taught my kids to be ok in the cribs by themselves and I do our bedtime routine, put them in the crib, and they hangout until they fall asleep. Obviously if they are physically uncomfortable/in pain or other occasional exceptions I deviate from my “rule” but overall, they are great at putting themselves to bed BH!
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6
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mha3484
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:15 pm
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Only the child who has serious sleep anxiety. The others no.
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3
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amother
Nectarine
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:16 pm
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I don't go in their beds but I sit in a chair in my kids' room for up to 30ish min... It's a recent thing but we had a move and a new baby in the past year and fell into some bad habits to get them to go to sleep. I'm trying to wean them off it by letting them know I'm only staying 10 minutes and letting them listen to a story cd. I'm not against staying for a bit but I want them to be able to fall asleep on their own and of course I have things I need to do.
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aria3578
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:18 pm
I have one child. 2.5 yr old
I sing with her and rock her for abt 5 min and then into the crib where she spaces out and relaxes till she falls asleep
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amother
Dustypink
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:22 pm
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My 8 year old I stay for a few minutes but we do a long bedtime routine before that takes about 40 minutes. My 14 year old I read to him until he falls asleep but that is the time we spend together. He falls asleep within half an hour. He needs it due to anxiety/emotion regulation issues at this time. I used to read to him for 20 minutes and leave.
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amother
Fuchsia
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:27 pm
Yes, until she falls asleep. My daughter is 2.
When she was in a crib, it wasn’t as practical to sit nearby for so long so I’m not sure if I always stayed with her until she fell asleep.
I recently saw a video talking about how it’s very important to do this because you’re their main sense of safety in the world and going to sleep/separating is a very scary thing for young kids.
I have one child now; I hope I’ll be able to keep this up when I have a few.
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:34 pm
Yes with my 2 yo (only way to get him to stay put to be honest)
My 4 yo if possible but she doesn't really need it
Almost 7 yo sometimes a few minutes or just tuck in
No one else
(4 yo is usually my husband. Last week I couldn't do bedtime for 2 nights and my 16 yo stayed with my 2 yo. But it's usually me...)
Last edited by Hashem_Yaazor on Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:36 pm; edited 1 time in total
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tweety1
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 7:35 pm
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I don't. My husband does. Till they fall asleep
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amother
RosePink
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:06 pm
um
what's the bedtime routine
is it more than just
'time for bed'
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amother
Bisque
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:08 pm
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I have never done this regularly. I have ka’h a busy household and none of my kids have really needed it. On the rare occasion I lay down with someone - I fall asleep!
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nicole81
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:16 pm
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I never laid with my kids past babyhood but frequently my 6 and 8 year olds ask if they can fall asleep in dh's bed while I work on my computer in my bed, and he does chores in another room. So not laying with them, but giving them extra comfort and closeness when the opportunity arises. They can fall asleep in their own rooms just fine but love this so much more.
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amother
Sienna
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:16 pm
Depending on child and what they need
Usually it doesn’t take n hour, but sometimes it can be thirty min
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amother
Tiffanyblue
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:18 pm
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I do bedtime stories in my bed with whoever is interested followed by shema and hugs. Then I send them all off to their own beds.
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amother
Garnet
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:21 pm
After kisses, shema, and snuggles, my 20 month old ka"h lies down in her crib without a peep and I walk out
My 4yo I stay with for 30-45 minutes
My 9yo I stay, but he's usually sleeping in about 10 minutes
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oohlala
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:41 pm
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I snuggle with each kid for an about five minutes. They tell me a bit about their day and I find that’s the time they tell me about their deeper feelings- something that went wrong in school or if they’re scared about something etc. Ages 10 and 12. I don’t drag it out though, and when I’m really tired and I feel like I can’t I tell them not tonight but we can snuggle in the couch near me.
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amother
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:48 pm
I do a nice bedtime routine with the kids- we snuggle with several books (they each pick out one, sometimes two as time permits) and then we sing Shema, Hamalach, Bsheim Hashem, hugs and kisses, we tuck them into bed, "sleep tight, have happy dreams, we love you, see you in the morning!" and we leave.
I never wanted to set up a routine where they need us to stay with them in order to fall asleep. I feel it's healthier for kids to learn that they are more than safe in their beds, we are only a "Mommy?" away, and they have the ability to rest peacefully and quietly in their bed until they fall asleep. I don't believe that sleep is some scary separation they need to be safeguarded against, I believe it's a totally natural part of one's day and I want them to be able to believe the same. (They can go into the bathroom themselves, they can go off to playgroup and school, they can go to their playroom themselves, they can definitely lay calmly in their beds and we'll see them again in the morning.)
Once my oldest started going to school, my husband developed a little routine where after she's tucked in he has a 5 min conversation with her about her day. They both enjoy it. Since I have many such conversations with her throughout the day I don't feel the need to do the same. As our other kids get a little older and can use that one on one time with him, they'll get it too if they want it. But he doesn't lay with her til she goes to sleep either. It's just an extension of the bedtime routine.
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tichellady
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Sun, Jul 28 2024, 8:50 pm
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I cuddle for a few minutes and then leave. I don’t want them to need me to be able to fall asleep. They usually play for a few minutes in their beds before they fall asleep
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