always late- have you ever changed?

comfort

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 6:03 pm

I am always late to work. That's why I need to clock in so I only get paid for the time I actually spend at work.
On the other hand, I am flexible, patient and spontaneous.

amother

↑ Eggshell

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 6:10 pm

comfort wrote:

I am always late to work. That's why I need to clock in so I only get paid for the time I actually spend at work.
On the other hand, I am flexible, patient and spontaneous.

I don't see it as a contradiction. I'm on time when I have someone or something waiting for me. I'm also flexible and patient with my own time.

amother

Buttercup

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 6:44 pm

amother Cerise wrote:

Clearly nobody on this thread is neurodivergent. so as somebody who discovered at age 28 that I have ADD and my brain literally doesn't see time, and so I have to enact a million strategies... please believe me that I am not trying to be rude, that in fact I am actually a mentsch, but I also sincerely believe that I can leave the house at 11:50 for an appointment that starts at 12 that's a half hour drive away without traffic and I'm also taking kids with me.

In general in life, you'll be happier with people if you start understanding that they don't work exactly the same way you do.

Co-signing all of this.
I like to say I believe in kfitzas haderech as halacha lmaaseh (stole that from someone)
As long as I leave before I have to be there, I should be good, right?

In all seriousness, CBT therapy helped a lot

strivingmom

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 8:20 pm

amother Eggshell wrote:

As a punctual person, other peoples lateness causes me loads of agmas nefesh,
Last week I had an appointment at 1 for my wig. Now, I work and need to back at my desk at a certain time. So I made sure to be there at 12:58 and waited for 45 minutes!! after which I left and did not yet end up doing anything about my wig.
My sheitelmacher claims I need to learn to be more relaxed, other people's timeliness isn't something I can control. I say people need to learn a bit of menshlichkeit, Even if being on time isn't important to you and you think you can get away with it, it's important to someone else.

Many Shaitel Macher’s don’t keep the appointment time because they overbook. I’ve accepted it as the reality and I have very low expectations regarding the timeliness of the appointment. I’ve been to a few shaitel machers who are like this.

acemom

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 11:17 pm

I don't know if it has been mentioned, but I've come to an interesting observation:
People who are punctual, are usually also on time to clock out/leave when the workday etc. Is over. Those who have "time blindness" are also not so rigid with finishing whatever it is at the exact time indicated.

Am I alone in this conclusion?

amother

Snapdragon

Thu, Jul 25 2024, 11:21 pm

I haven’t read all the comments but to answer your question, yes.
I was chronically late, to everything. Always.
And then a couple years ago (lived in an area in Europe where everything runs on time!!!) I did a 180 when I realized my life is way less stressful when I am
Punctual. It works way better for me. I think my brain isn’t super organized so I need externals to be. Something like that
But yes. It’s possible!

amother

Forsythia

Fri, Jul 26 2024, 12:49 am

acemom wrote:

But let's say they're okay staying later at work, I mean, what if their baby needs to be picked up from the babysitter, supper needs to be made, they have an app after work etc? Doesn't make sense to me except if they don't have many responsibilities.