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Toronto
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amother
OP  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 2:41 pm
Can anyone who is familiar with the "South" community in Toronto share some positive things about the community? What you love about it!
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amother
Burlywood  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 3:43 pm
The community is large enough that we have all the frum conveniences- restaurants, schools, clothing stores etc. but not so huge that you get lost in the crowd. People really care about eachother and take care of eachother.

We don't have issues of kids not getting into schools or families stressing to pay tuition. Everyone just pays as much as they can, and the rest is covered by the community.

We are also fairly happy with the schools.

There's is a fair amount of traffic but I don't think it's anywhere near as bad as NY/NJ.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 3:50 pm
Thank you!

Is it hard to make friends if you are on a lower tax bracket than most?
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amother
  Burlywood  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 4:00 pm
No, there are still a decent amount of families in the lower tax bracket. Rebbe's, kollel families, as well as people who just live here because they grew up here and have family here, but are not very wealthy. It's a struggle though, mostly because housing prices are insane.

Also it's easy to make friends with anyone as long as you are friendly! It's actually nice living in a wealthy community sometimes. My kids get invited to their friends pools often etc.
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amother
PlumPink  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 4:02 pm
Why would you want to move to Toronto? It’s so expensive! We are desperate to get out!
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 4:06 pm
amother PlumPink wrote:
Why would you want to move to Toronto? It’s so expensive! We are desperate to get out!


My husband wants to go to a kollel there but he won't be in kollel forever...I have family there
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amother
  PlumPink  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 4:17 pm
I’d say the community is warm and accepting, much less judgy than living in Brooklyn or New Jersey. Not a ton of kosher restaurants but enough. Overall hashkafa is pretty yeshivish and chassidish.
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amother
Molasses  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:24 pm
Hey I grew up in Toronto! First of all housing is insanely expensive and salaries are typically lower. I think some of the kollelim help with apartments for the yungermen but I don’t know details. Tuition full price is expensive but ppl with less money get huge breaks and are paying a lot less than ppl in town- not sure if this applies to all schools but this is what I know from family members. All retail is more expensive with smaller selection, a lot of people shop in NY or Lakewood when they visit. Cholov yisroel is more expensive but produce is cheaper. Traffic is insane like NYC traffic. If you Google cities in the world with the worst traffic Toronto is way up there. There is a large crowd of extremely wealthy people and yes in BY element there are a lot of girls in designer everything. It is a very different vibe than in town though- less trendy and less of a feel that everyone even poor people need the stuff the rich people have. It’s very much an old money community and not a new money community. The people are very nice, refined, and politer than in NY but not particularly friendly or warm. It helps if you have family there or are part of a kollel that will help you get to know people. People typically get into schools but I do know of people that have been rejected. If you’re joining a kollel you would likely be accepted to BY, Yesodei, TTC etc. Schools are on a lower level academically than the in town schools I’m familiar with now but definitely higher level English than Lakewood schools. The boys high schools all give diplomas besides for I think Kaplans. I find the hashkafa is much more conservative and rigid than out of town, lots of things that are becoming accepted in town would never fly there. I actually find it more judgy in Toronto than in Brooklyn or Monsey. Toronto has lots of really nice parks, libraries with great activities for kids, water parks, and everything is cleaner than in NY. Kosher food options are pretty thin so don’t expect any good takeout Smile I agree with what someone said about the perks of living in a wealthy community- your kids might have friends with gorgeous pools, the schools give big tuition breaks because they have wealthy donors, there are clothing gemach with designer clothing donated by community members, the schools have huge buildings. My parents raised us to be happy with what we had and I never saw them act jealous of other peoples money but I can see how it can be hard for some kids if their friends all live in mansions. I love talking about Toronto do you have any other questions?
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amother
Cinnamon  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:39 pm
amother Molasses wrote:
Hey I grew up in Toronto! First of all housing is insanely expensive and salaries are typically lower. I think some of the kollelim help with apartments for the yungermen but I don’t know details. Tuition full price is expensive but ppl with less money get huge breaks and are paying a lot less than ppl in town- not sure if this applies to all schools but this is what I know from family members. All retail is more expensive with smaller selection, a lot of people shop in NY or Lakewood when they visit. Cholov yisroel is more expensive but produce is cheaper. Traffic is insane like NYC traffic. If you Google cities in the world with the worst traffic Toronto is way up there. There is a large crowd of extremely wealthy people and yes in BY element there are a lot of girls in designer everything. It is a very different vibe than in town though- less trendy and less of a feel that everyone even poor people need the stuff the rich people have. It’s very much an old money community and not a new money community. The people are very nice, refined, and politer than in NY but not particularly friendly or warm. It helps if you have family there or are part of a kollel that will help you get to know people. People typically get into schools but I do know of people that have been rejected. If you’re joining a kollel you would likely be accepted to BY, Yesodei, TTC etc. Schools are on a lower level academically than the in town schools I’m familiar with now but definitely higher level English than Lakewood schools. The boys high schools all give diplomas besides for I think Kaplans. I find the hashkafa is much more conservative and rigid than out of town, lots of things that are becoming accepted in town would never fly there. I actually find it more judgy in Toronto than in Brooklyn or Monsey. Toronto has lots of really nice parks, libraries with great activities for kids, water parks, and everything is cleaner than in NY. Kosher food options are pretty thin so don’t expect any good takeout Smile I agree with what someone said about the perks of living in a wealthy community- your kids might have friends with gorgeous pools, the schools give big tuition breaks because they have wealthy donors, there are clothing gemach with designer clothing donated by community members, the schools have huge buildings. My parents raised us to be happy with what we had and I never saw them act jealous of other peoples money but I can see how it can be hard for some kids if their friends all live in mansions. I love talking about Toronto do you have any other questions?


I’m from Toronto too and I really like this summary! Can you elaborate on what you mean by a more rigid hashkafa- do you mean schools are like this or the people in general? I agree with what you said about the poor people not needing what the rich people have- I miss that aspect..,
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:41 pm
amother Molasses wrote:
Hey I grew up in Toronto! First of all housing is insanely expensive and salaries are typically lower. I think some of the kollelim help with apartments for the yungermen but I don’t know details. Tuition full price is expensive but ppl with less money get huge breaks and are paying a lot less than ppl in town- not sure if this applies to all schools but this is what I know from family members. All retail is more expensive with smaller selection, a lot of people shop in NY or Lakewood when they visit. Cholov yisroel is more expensive but produce is cheaper. Traffic is insane like NYC traffic. If you Google cities in the world with the worst traffic Toronto is way up there. There is a large crowd of extremely wealthy people and yes in BY element there are a lot of girls in designer everything. It is a very different vibe than in town though- less trendy and less of a feel that everyone even poor people need the stuff the rich people have. It’s very much an old money community and not a new money community. The people are very nice, refined, and politer than in NY but not particularly friendly or warm. It helps if you have family there or are part of a kollel that will help you get to know people. People typically get into schools but I do know of people that have been rejected. If you’re joining a kollel you would likely be accepted to BY, Yesodei, TTC etc. Schools are on a lower level academically than the in town schools I’m familiar with now but definitely higher level English than Lakewood schools. The boys high schools all give diplomas besides for I think Kaplans. I find the hashkafa is much more conservative and rigid than out of town, lots of things that are becoming accepted in town would never fly there. I actually find it more judgy in Toronto than in Brooklyn or Monsey. Toronto has lots of really nice parks, libraries with great activities for kids, water parks, and everything is cleaner than in NY. Kosher food options are pretty thin so don’t expect any good takeout Smile I agree with what someone said about the perks of living in a wealthy community- your kids might have friends with gorgeous pools, the schools give big tuition breaks because they have wealthy donors, there are clothing gemach with designer clothing donated by community members, the schools have huge buildings. My parents raised us to be happy with what we had and I never saw them act jealous of other peoples money but I can see how it can be hard for some kids if their friends all live in mansions. I love talking about Toronto do you have any other questions?


Wow thanks for taking time to write all of those details!

Money is not so much of an issue but I just don't want a complete separation of the classes.

Can you expound more on what you said about the schools having a lower academic level?
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amother
Pumpkin  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 5:48 pm
amother Molasses wrote:
Hey I grew up in Toronto! First of all housing is insanely expensive and salaries are typically lower. I think some of the kollelim help with apartments for the yungermen but I don’t know details. Tuition full price is expensive but ppl with less money get huge breaks and are paying a lot less than ppl in town- not sure if this applies to all schools but this is what I know from family members. All retail is more expensive with smaller selection, a lot of people shop in NY or Lakewood when they visit. Cholov yisroel is more expensive but produce is cheaper. Traffic is insane like NYC traffic. If you Google cities in the world with the worst traffic Toronto is way up there. There is a large crowd of extremely wealthy people and yes in BY element there are a lot of girls in designer everything. It is a very different vibe than in town though- less trendy and less of a feel that everyone even poor people need the stuff the rich people have. It’s very much an old money community and not a new money community. The people are very nice, refined, and politer than in NY but not particularly friendly or warm. It helps if you have family there or are part of a kollel that will help you get to know people. People typically get into schools but I do know of people that have been rejected. If you’re joining a kollel you would likely be accepted to BY, Yesodei, TTC etc. Schools are on a lower level academically than the in town schools I’m familiar with now but definitely higher level English than Lakewood schools. The boys high schools all give diplomas besides for I think Kaplans. I find the hashkafa is much more conservative and rigid than out of town, lots of things that are becoming accepted in town would never fly there. I actually find it more judgy in Toronto than in Brooklyn or Monsey. Toronto has lots of really nice parks, libraries with great activities for kids, water parks, and everything is cleaner than in NY. Kosher food options are pretty thin so don’t expect any good takeout Smile I agree with what someone said about the perks of living in a wealthy community- your kids might have friends with gorgeous pools, the schools give big tuition breaks because they have wealthy donors, there are clothing gemach with designer clothing donated by community members, the schools have huge buildings. My parents raised us to be happy with what we had and I never saw them act jealous of other peoples money but I can see how it can be hard for some kids if their friends all live in mansions. I love talking about Toronto do you have any other questions?

Do you live there now?
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amother
Olive


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:01 pm
I grew up there a while ago (went to school in the 90s) and unless things things have changed dramatically, I question the tuition assistance.

I grew up in the north but I have horrible memories of the shame and embarrassment my parents endured asking for tuition assistance. Hopefully things are different now. We struggled financially a LOT. That said some of my closest friends growing up and until today were from extraordinarily weathly families. The socioeconomic differences did not prevent really friendships. I think that speaks volumes about the community.
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amother
  Molasses  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:03 pm
About more rigid hashkafa- a lot of things that are basically ok in town are still not considered mainstream in Toronto. The examples I think of are dress related like women jogging in leggings under a skirt and sneakers, wearing a tichel to the grocery store (ppl definitely do it but it’s much more done in Flatbush and Monsey than in Toronto), not wearing stockings in the summer with midi skirts, men wearing jeans sometimes, women going to secular college and working professionally in the outside world. In general I believe it’s harder to be out of the box yeshivish in Toronto. That was my experience and I know ppl who agree with me but of course everyone will have their own experience. I haven’t lived there since I got married but visit very often and have lots of family there. Lower academic level- I think it goes with Canada having less of a hustle culture and being less competitive in general. The schools aren’t trying to teach more than the next, and they aren’t teaching in as high of a level as TAG, BYA, YSV etc (those are the schools I had relatives in growing up that I could compare to). Academics aren’t stressed as much as they are in NY. BY elementary though is a well run, warm school, they care about the students, I had a great experience there. If you’re moving with little kids I feel like this will be less of a concern though.
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amother
  Molasses  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:05 pm
Tuition assistance- I know ppl that were given huge breaks for BY elementary, BY high school, TTC, and Ner Yisroel. Not ppl who are poor, regular struggling middle class families. This was not in the 90’s, this is from the 2010’s.
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amother
  PlumPink  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:10 pm
amother Molasses wrote:
Tuition assistance- I know ppl that were given huge breaks for BY elementary, BY high school, TTC, and Ner Yisroel. Not ppl who are poor, regular struggling middle class families. This was not in the 90’s, this is from the 2010’s.


I can attest to this as we just received our tuition agreement and was shocked at how generous of a break we received this year bh!!
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amother
  Burlywood  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:11 pm
I live here now and don't find traffic so bad. I'm comparing to what I have heard about Lakewood and Monsey where it can take you 30 min to drive to the grocery down the block at certain times of the day due to all the school buses backing up the streets or whatever. Don't know if that's actually true though- I've never lived in those places.

We did have a lot of really bad traffic a couple years ago when they were doing construction on some of the main intersections in the Jewish area, but BH that's over. Also he prepared to do carpool- most schools here do not have bussing.

Yeah, the academics are really bad across the board in Canada- not specific to Jewish schools. We don't have Regents or AP classes so there's no pressure on schools/kids to actually study or learn anything. Even the schools which are JPF or MO- maybe the education is a bit better than the yeshivish schools, but still no way comparable to their NY counterparts.

On the plus side, I do find the schools to have a positive atmosphere, good Rebbeim and Morahs, kids are happy and have a love/geshmack for yidishkeit so for me that's good enough.
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mom24b  




 
 
    
 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:48 pm
amother Olive wrote:
I grew up there a while ago (went to school in the 90s) and unless things things have changed dramatically, I question the tuition assistance.

I grew up in the north but I have horrible memories of the shame and embarrassment my parents endured asking for tuition assistance. Hopefully things are different now. We struggled financially a LOT. That said some of my closest friends growing up and until today were from extraordinarily weathly families. The socioeconomic differences did not prevent really friendships. I think that speaks volumes about the community.


As far as I know tuition is decided based on tax returns. Therefore it’s possible the tuition committee determined your parents are able to pay a certain amount based on their tax returns but with many many other expenses tuition does create stress for many middle class income families there. OP if I’m understanding you correctly if money isn’t a concern than you should be fine . For the average middle class family life is not easy. Ppl are friendly, but I know many ppl that had a hard time finding real friends. If your husband is joining a kollel that shldnt be a problem as most live amongst each other in the kollel apartments. I agree with the other poster that it’s not true that everyone can get their kids into school if their choice in Toronto, I know those who couldn’t , but again if your coming in as part of the kollel you won’t have a problem.. I think the experiences of those that are part of the kollel and those that are upper class have a very different experience then the average middle class family in Toronto.
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amother
  OP  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:50 pm
I am looking for a warm , friendly community that's not too "out of towny" without the crazy rat race regarding every part of life (ruchnios , gashmios)
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amother
DarkKhaki  


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:51 pm
amother Molasses wrote:
About more rigid hashkafa- a lot of things that are basically ok in town are still not considered mainstream in Toronto. The examples I think of are dress related like women jogging in leggings under a skirt and sneakers, wearing a tichel to the grocery store (ppl definitely do it but it’s much more done in Flatbush and Monsey than in Toronto), not wearing stockings in the summer with midi skirts, men wearing jeans sometimes, women going to secular college and working professionally in the outside world. In general I believe it’s harder to be out of the box yeshivish in Toronto. That was my experience and I know ppl who agree with me but of course everyone will have their own experience. I haven’t lived there since I got married but visit very often and have lots of family there. Lower academic level- I think it goes with Canada having less of a hustle culture and being less competitive in general. The schools aren’t trying to teach more than the next, and they aren’t teaching in as high of a level as TAG, BYA, YSV etc (those are the schools I had relatives in growing up that I could compare to). Academics aren’t stressed as much as they are in NY. BY elementary though is a well run, warm school, they care about the students, I had a great experience there. If you’re moving with little kids I feel like this will be less of a concern though.


agree with what you wrote about the hashkafa. Grew up in Toronto and so happy not to live there today.
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amother
Gladiolus


 

Post Wed, Jul 24 2024, 6:55 pm
I love AJ's takeout!!! And his AJ Roll sushi is the best beats anything in Lakewood!
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