Laundry and ADHD | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 9:26 am

Can you help me create a laundry system I can actually stick to?
I always feel like I'm drowning in laundry.
I have pretty severe ADHD and it really makes my laundry challenging. My cleaning lady cannot do the laundry.
Here are some considerations:
- I have a large house with a bunch of floors so laundry is a lot of different places.
- My kids are also ND so they tend to make laundry issues worse. (Leave clothes everywhere unless I'm standing over them and making them put it into the hamper).
- I've tried a load a day but felt like I was always doing laundry - a chore I hate. And then I don't do on Rosh Chodesh or I would have a crazy day or not feel well and then that went out the window.
- I've tried once a week and that was just too overwhelming.
-I need an easy streamlined system, if it's too complicated it'll be over before it starts

To give myself credit, I've always been on top of the laundry enough that everyone has clean clothes to wear, if you have ADHD, you know that that is a huge thing. The issue is that it's not a routine or system so it becomes even more overwhelming in my mind.

mummiedearest

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 9:41 am

Here’s what works for me:

Have a hamper in every bedroom and bathroom. Do a once a day laundry gathering in all main living spaces. Kids bedrooms can be tackled (by them) once weekly. Kids ages seven and up can do their own laundry. We don’t sort it, we just wash a hamper load at a time. Hampers are emptied into draw string laundry bags and thrown down the stairs to the basement. Kids are capable of putting their own loads into the wash and switching to the dryer. For the younger ones, I keep laundry detergent pods. Once they’re old enough, they use liquid detergent. Each kid does their own laundry once a week. One kid per week has the job of doing the kids’ towel laundry as well, on a designated night. My kids have their own bathroom, pretty much, so I hung a laundry bag for each of them and one for towels inside the bathroom closet. They don’t all use their bathroom laundry bags, but having them reminds them not to leave things on the floor. I do the adult laundry, main floor laundry, baby laundry, on one day a week. It comes out to two or three loads. I have laundry cart in the basement to dump all the clean stuff into. Whoever is in the basement doing laundry is supposed to bring up the clean laundry to my room. It often just stays there until I ask a kid to fetch it for me. I quickly sort everything into laundry baskets (no folding, and I have a lot of baskets). Each kid gets his or her own basket, which gets moved to the appropriate bedroom. I fold and put away adult and baby laundry and anything that goes in the linen closet. My kids tend to put away their stuff when they find the time or when I remind them that I need my baskets back.

My kids learn pretty quickly that if they don’t wash their clothing, they won’t have clean stuff to wear. They’ve gotten good at noticing their laundry needs at least a day before they run out of something important. I will sometimes ask if they need to do laundry just to make sure we’re not trying to use the machine at the same time.

No ADHD diagnosis here, but we’re not the strongest at executive functioning as a group. This works for us. I tend to do my loads the same day every week, but the kids decide when they want to do theirs.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 12:05 pm

Ideally doing one room/kid at a time would be the easiest for me. The problem is they don't put their clothes in the hamper. They get changed either in the bathroom, or downstairs in the living room, or in their room, or in the laundry room. All those places have hampers but no child is bringing their clothes from wherever to their own hamper. I tried being on top of it but I just burned out it was such a waste of time and energy.
Now I just do one hamper at a time but I am spending so much time sorting and putting away afterwards and I don't know what's in each hamper. Hampers are a hodge podge of everyone's clothes towels dish towels bathing suits table clothes etc.
There isn't a sense of accomplishment because I'm just always doing random laundry and it's always overwhelming.

amother

Aubergine

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 12:16 pm

I have a list of all the loads that need to be done each week.
Adult whites
Children whites (X2 in the summer usually)
Delicate whites
Adult dark
Etc
Towels
Bedding
Rags

And every day go through the list to see which load I can do that day, then go around collecting and sorting hampers for those washes. Usually on the way I see an empty shampoo bottle and go put it in the large garbage downstairs and then see the kettle and remember I need a coffee etc etc if you know you know. but then I see the empty machine or a stained item and remember to get back on the laundry of the day.
I try have a schedule for each day but have to be slightly flexible.

amother

Jasmine

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 1:08 pm

I just started dumping out all the laundry on the floor and sorting in piles, like this I don’t forget and every time I stumble over the piles I change the load. Then all’s the clean laundry gets dumped on mine and Dh’s beds and no more putting in the laundry basket, everything must be folded and packed away before bed.

I’ve been doing it Monday & Thursday/Friday with any small additional loads as needed (like swim etc.)

I’m 2 weeks in and bh it’s been working.

amother

Scarlet

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 7:58 am

I collect the laundry every day.

I sort everything into piles every 2-3 days, and wash them as I get to do it over the next few days.

Prepare (or at least check) everyone’s clothes the night before so I know they have everything.

There’s always fast wash for a random item or two.

I have separate baskets for clean whites, colors and towels, for ease of searching….

Kids (my oldest is 6) underwear and pajamas go in their respective bin in their drawer without folding when I get to sort them out of the basket.
Cleaning lady usually folds the rest once a week.

amother

Hydrangea

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 8:13 am

I love the book Organizing Solutions for People with ADHD, even though I don't think it directly answers your question. But the best laundry-related tip I got from there was to try, where possible, to get all the same socks for each individual person. It doesn't always work, especially when DH impulsively buys a bunch of socks for our toddler without consulting me 🙄🙄🙄🙄. But for me it's been awesome. All my socks are black anklets and I never need to think about sorting socks again, or trying to match socks before leaving.

As far as laundry, we have extra baskets and as soon as I can after they're dry, I divide everyone's laundry into different baskets. So it seems I do that at the opposite side of the process than you do. The things I don't want wrinkled I drape over the side of the basket so they don't get terrible before I have time to put them away. Our kids aren't old enough to properly put away most of their laundry yet, so sometimes it sits there. And yes, my kids sometimes get dressed from the laundry basket. But usually I eventually find time to put things away.

I also save time on certain things. Main clothing I fold nicely (Marie Kondo method) or hang in closets. But socks and most underwear, I never bother folding anymore, just throw in their drawers. (DH boxers I fold when I do them, bc they're larger. Come to think of it, why?) Washcloths I don't fold either, just put in a pile in the towel closet. Who has time for that with little kids and work and life. Spoiler: they work just as effectively when they're not folded as when they were.

amother

↑ OP

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:05 am

amother Lightgreen wrote:

I have adhd and finally found a system that works for me. There’s hampers on every room and Sunday is my laundry day. I spend the whole day doing laundry and hanging the the stuff that can’t go in the dryer. My cleaning lady comes on Monday and folds all the dryer laundry and I put it away on Monday night. Then I don’t have to think about the laundry until the next week.

I may try going back to this system although I don't have a cleaning lady doing my folding. I don't know if I have enough hanging space either.
How many loads do you do on Sunday?

amother

↑ Lightgreen

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:09 am

amother OP wrote:

I may try going back to this system although I don't have a cleaning lady doing my folding. I don't know if I have enough hanging space either.
How many loads do you do on Sunday?

Hanging goes in each kids or my closets. It’s just the shirts and pants that get hung anyways.
I probably do 5 or 6 loads on Sunday.

I tried doing the one load a day approach but I couldn’t get myself to do laundry every day and then it piled up again. This way I force myself to do it on Sunday and then it’s done.

AlwaysGrateful

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 10:15 am

Two things that help me.

I have boxes that I sort the laundry into after it's washed. I don't fold it, just sort it. Anyone who wants it folded (one kid) can do it themselves. But they can carry the boxes to the rooms themselves.

If it's early in the week, I ask all the kids to put it away one day after dinner. If I remember. If it's later in the week, it waits until erev Shabbos, and one of their jobs (on a list, with a reward when completed) is to put any laundry in their box away before Shabbos.

As for the dirty laundry getting in the hampers, yeah, it's an issue here too. With kids who are old enough/have enough executive functioning to make it happen if they try, I would tell them I'll only wash laundry that's in the hamper when I'm doing a load. At some point they will not have the clothing they want, and they will figure it out. With younger kids/kids with more EF challenges, I would make it part of the bedtime routine. They need to bathe, get into pjs, brush teeth, and check to make sure all of their clothing is in the hamper. Whenever they finish, they get that amount of time to play before bed. I find that usually works.

Both of these are examples of habit chaining, which I find helpful for my adhders (and myself, also with ADHD).