At my wits end with toilet training

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Jul 21 2024, 11:57 pm

My son is 4.5 years old. He's been toilet trained with #1 since he turned 3. The trouble is with #2. I have tried EVERYTHING and he still refused to do #2 in the toilet. I think the problem originates from the fact that he definitely has ADHD (not that we officially got a diagnosis yet). He simply could not sit on the toilet long enough to allow himself to go. He then developed a fear of going and at this point he refuses to even talk about it. He does not have accidents. He just waits until the night when we put on a pullup and goes then.

At the beginning I sat with him for hours trying and trying. I took a break and a few months later tried again. I gave him suppositories to force him to have to go #2 and I sat him on the toilet. He actually held it in and refused to go! Life got very busy for various reasons and we took a few months'
break.

I've been advised to slowly get him used to going on the toilet by having him make in the bathroom with his pullup on. He simply refuses to do that. I've tried bribing him which worked for a bit and now that doesn't work either.

We're also dealing with another issue, probably due to fact that he has ADHD. Every night when it's bedtime, he puts on a pullup and decides he has to go dirty. While he's "pushing" he moves around his bedroom and other rooms and destroys things. Kind of like how adults like to read in the bathroom? He gets busy and many times damages things I.e. squeezing out creams all over the bathroom, taking scissors and cutting things, etc...

At this point the problem is so huge, I have no idea how to address it. When I speak to him about trying again, he tells me "I'm gonna run away". When my husband tried talking to him, he told my husband he's gonna "hurt him" if he makes him go in the toilet.

He's a pretty well behaved kid in playgroup/day camp so it's hard to call him behavioral. We are just at our wits end and have no idea where to go from here.

Any advice would be appreciated!

amother

Oleander

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 12:14 am

Get lots of potty books and videos. Normalize it but not in a way that it’s about him. Make a huge deal anyone else uses the bathroom, reward everyone in front of him.

With one kid I set a date. I said in 2 weeks we are getting rid of pull ups. I said it over and over, we discussed what type of things they will want to earn etc..

Maybe find a professional who deals with difficult cases there are professional toilet trainers out there.

amother

Beige

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 10:18 am

If there is some kind of toy or activity you can get him that he really really loves and save it exclusively to use while he sits on the toilet , maybe that could work?
I don’t like to use tablets or phones for children, but maybe in this case, you could put on a song or a story that plays exclusively for when he is sitting on the toilet.
At this point, I’d probably take away the pull ups and see what happens. He might have a few accidents and make a mess, but I doubt he’ll enjoy the experience, maybe that’ll get him to sit.