My kids were expelled

amother

Charcoal

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 9:33 am

I can’t believe a school would do that!
My husband used to teach. He had a student who did terrible things and was uncontrollable - he hit a principal, raided offices ect. My husband and principals had meetings on how to not kick him out. They kept him in school until the end of the year and helped him find a different school better suited for him for the next year.
I don’t understand how someone would kick a Jewish child out of school for wearing socks on Sunday. These are holy Jewish neshamos we are talking about!

amother

↑ Holly

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 9:47 am

amother Junglegreen wrote:

I'm so sorry 😔

I know this is probably not any real consolation, but these are the last people I would want to be responsible for my kids chinuch.

This is every right wing in town school. Unless your completely change your road of yiddishkeit this is how they work for whatever reason if they need to show parents the door. Schools are sweet until there is a problem. I wish the rabbonim could be more powerful than the schools that do it I. This degrading way in the name of yiddishkeit. They clai. They have rabbinic backing them up..

If your able to stay logic, speak calm you could pull through this without aggravating yourself. Don't argue even when your 100 percent right.

PinkFridge ↓

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 10:37 am

Chayalle wrote:

You need to get a Rav involved immediately.
And regardless of your feelings to the school, keep in mind this is about your kids and their needs. Try to stay calm and focused on that.
Sending many hugs.

This. Every word.

amother

Zinnia

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 11:43 am

So so awful. You need someone to advocate for you and tell the school how they absolutely destroy a kid by doing this, and for what? Someone has to speak very strongly to them and tell them you will absolutely not be removing your kids from school until a proper alternative has been arranged. It’s not ok to leave good yiddishe kinder without a school.

amother

Eggshell

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 12:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

My children's elementary school sent us a letter last week without any warning saying that they are expelling our kids citing a breach of commitment to their standards.

When we called, the principal claimed that the kids are leading a double life. When asked for details she stated that one dd breached tznius rules wearing short socks on a Sunday and another showed a video on a flip phone to some classmates. She mentioned that we would be better off in a school that leans more to the left (which is so out of sync for my family).

The first allegation is 1k% false, as my kids don't wear socks, and the second is possible but unlikely.

My biggest issue is that as a parent in this school for over 10 years, even if this (& much more) were all true, they should have had the decency to call us down to a meeting to resolve the issues.

As an aside, we had spoken to this principal in June regarding other issues and none of this was ever mentioned.

What would you do? They sent me a letter mid July, when most schools are closed for the summer.
What am I meant to do? I'm at a total loss

Sounds very harsh. Do you know what the video was about? Are phones allowed in school? In either case it doesn't sound major enough to kick a family out of school. I'm sorry you're going through this.

amother

Kiwi ↓

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 12:13 pm

I'm so sorry. I don't know what people running the schools are thinking. Their behavior is not menschluch at all.

Definitely start with your Rav to advise you.

Schools have an achrayis to every single child they start with. Kicking out is not okay.

But you aren't going to change them. May Hashem send you the answer clearly and it should work out even better than before.

↑ Brit in Israel

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 1:19 pm

amother Antiquewhite wrote:

Do your children know about the letter?
If yes, how do they feel about it?

this!
Even if you can get your children back into this school, what are their ages and do thye know.
it may be more damaging than good if tey have resentment and feel like under dogs going back into a school which kicked them out.

amother

Thistle ↓

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 1:24 pm

amother Charcoal wrote:

Unfortunately I can believe it. Some school administrations have had power gone to their heads and they don't realize how their behaviora are anti-Torah.

Even if they do want to send kids away, there is a way to go about it. They can work with the parents to find acceptable options, and then assist with placements.

You just NEVER kick kids out like that without any recourse. It's so wrong, I can't understand how any Yid can do this to another Yid. Even more so, how do you do this at the last minute, leaving them literally stranded.?

Do we realize that these are the people teaching out kids? Goodness knows what lessons they are imparting on these very impressionable kids. These lessons are probably a lot worse than whatever these kids supposedly did to upset the administration.

amother

↑ Thistle

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 1:30 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

Do not tell them about it

This should be age dependent. What happens if someone from administration talks and it gets out how somehow. If your kid hears this from outside, it will be even more devastating.

amother

↑ Daylily

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 1:32 pm

amother Thistle wrote:

This should be age dependent. What happens if someone from administration talks and it gets out how somehow. If your kid hears this from outside, it will be even more devastating.

Doesn’t matter you don’t tell them. And if you get them back in school you tell school they don’t know and don’t need to know. You don’t burden kids with this.

amother

SandyBrown ↓

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 1:43 pm

amother Daylily wrote:

Doesn’t matter you don’t tell them. And if you get them back in school you tell school they don’t know and don’t need to know. You don’t burden kids with this.

I agree completely! You don't need to tell them until it's final. Right now when you're doing leg work, working with the school don't burden them with this. It will just stress them. We had a similar situation with a child who was told she could not come back to a camp she went to and loved. We did not tell her until after we spoke to the camp and had a rav call and try to work with them and the decision was final. In that situation, like OP's there was also absolutely no warning and no discussions when she was in camp that she would not be asked back. We were never told there was any behavioral issues. Just out of the blue when we went to reapply got an email saying they wouldn't take her back. This camp is no longer operational for some strange reason Smile

amother

Birch

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 1:50 pm

Definitely have an Rav involved. Hopefully you and DH have a Rav you are close to. They will not be able to expel a child for the reasons you enumerated until they can place the child in another school and a Rav will intercede with the hanhala and or Vaad hachinuch to make sure of this. Of course there may be more to the story but assuming OP is to be taken at face value this is absolutely for the family Rav to handle.

amother

Mintgreen

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 2:12 pm

amother Black wrote:

Totally shocking.

Not shocking. This is not new. This happened to 2 of my children. In the moment it is a horrible experience. We don’t know Hashem’s plans. We don’t have future vision. The change to their trajectory was exactly what they needed. But at that time we didn’t and couldn’t know it. My kids are bh married and have beautiful lives.
OP- I feel with you. I commiserate. It is very very hard and you are confused, frustrated and hurting now. Your children will land in a school that is better for them.
And in the future you will see the good.

NechaMom

Mon, Jul 22 2024, 3:18 pm

It's shocking and hurtful.
I would not get a rav involved and fight to stay in a school where I'm no longer welcome.
I'd rather get a rav involved to help me get into a school that's a better fit.
I'm sorry you're going through this so late in the season!
Why would they call this one example a "double life"? You said the socks were not true. One video instance with one child and it's a double life? Super curious what that video was about!