|
|
|
|
|
Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
Oak
|
Tue, Jul 16 2024, 12:30 pm
amother Jade wrote: | I don't understand it. How could a parent forget his child for this amount of time. Just like I I have something important on my mind it's the first to be taken care o. |
https://www.washingtonpost.com......html
It can happen to anyone. Routines change. The brain gets used to routine. If, let's say, a father drives straight to work every day and 1 day he randomly has to take his baby to daycare, it's not crazy that he would go straight to work anyway that day because of muscle memory. And if the baby is totally quiet in the back....
Just today, even though I reminded myself when I got on the freeway that I needed to take a different exit than usual I still ended up taking the exit I usually take because habits are hard to break.
I can be counted among the "it can happen to anyone" crowd. B"H I have an incredible memory and am very on top of things, but I left my 6th child in the car. That's the only time I have ever felt panic as a parent. It was my first time leaving the house after giving birth and I hadn't carried the car seat yet (was after my first c section). Had just experienced the devastating loss of a friend and was extremely distraught and distracted. Drove to drop my toddler off at preschool and since my husband was in the area and could use the car, I decided to hop into my sister's car (she was also dropping off at preschool) with the older kids and go back with her. Only once we arrived home did I remember I had left the baby in the car. Frantically called my husband and raced back and bh baby was still sleeping and comfortable but I will never forget that humbling experience. I am used to being the one who's on top of everything. I think it was just a perfect storm- hadn't yet traveled with a baby until then + wasn't used to schlepping around the car seat yet + change in routine + brain fogged up with grief = disaster averted.
I never judge when I see these tragic stories, even before it happened to me. It's usually not negligence and the parents will live out a life sentence even if issued no punishment. They will be living in a purgatory of their own and don't need anyone else to add to it.
| |
|
Back to top |
1
45
|
amother
Pear
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 3:30 pm
amother Slateblue wrote: | Is there anything else? I had the clever elly for a few years but it kind of receded into background noise after a while.
The only real idea I have is to put my pocketbook in the back seat every single trip. Make it a habit. And then you will remember very quickly if you forgot your pocketbook in the car.
But I would love to know about something where there is a blaring alarm from the phone or car if a child is left inside ch"v. |
https://ridenremind.com/
check this out
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:00 pm
amother Orange wrote: | We were just discussing this exact issue.
My conclusion was that this was something Hashem decided needs to happen.
Parents don’t forget about their kids. Hashem wanted this story to happen so he made the parents forget. It’s like a nes, but not in a good way. |
So then what good would buying this reminder/safety mechanism if we are saying it was ordained from hashem and he wanted it to happen?
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:19 pm
I need a device that will only sound an alarm when baby is there. DH rarely takes baby in car. He gets in and out of his car many many times over the course of a day. He would totally tune out its reminder and it wouldn't accomplish its purpose for the one time that baby is there out of thousands of times he exits car.
(For myself, I always open the door where car seat is, so I don't need a device as importantly.)
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
yellowroses
↓
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:28 pm
amother Lightgreen wrote: | So then what good would buying this reminder/safety mechanism if we are saying it was ordained from hashem and he wanted it to happen? |
It’s called making hishtadlus. Like taking care of our bodies to avoid illness.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
8
|
amother
Electricblue
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 5:33 pm
amother Oak wrote: | https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/magazine/fatal-distraction-forgetting-a-child-in-thebackseat-of-a-car-is-a-horrifying-mistake-is-it-a-crime/2014/06/16/8ae0fe3a-f580-11e3-a3a5-42be35962a52_story.html
It can happen to anyone. Routines change. The brain gets used to routine. If, let's say, a father drives straight to work every day and 1 day he randomly has to take his baby to daycare, it's not crazy that he would go straight to work anyway that day because of muscle memory. And if the baby is totally quiet in the back....
Just today, even though I reminded myself when I got on the freeway that I needed to take a different exit than usual I still ended up taking the exit I usually take because habits are hard to break.
I can be counted among the "it can happen to anyone" crowd. B"H I have an incredible memory and am very on top of things, but I left my 6th child in the car. That's the only time I have ever felt panic as a parent. It was my first time leaving the house after giving birth and I hadn't carried the car seat yet (was after my first c section). Had just experienced the devastating loss of a friend and was extremely distraught and distracted. Drove to drop my toddler off at preschool and since my husband was in the area and could use the car, I decided to hop into my sister's car (she was also dropping off at preschool) with the older kids and go back with her. Only once we arrived home did I remember I had left the baby in the car. Frantically called my husband and raced back and bh baby was still sleeping and comfortable but I will never forget that humbling experience. I am used to being the one who's on top of everything. I think it was just a perfect storm- hadn't yet traveled with a baby until then + wasn't used to schlepping around the car seat yet + change in routine + brain fogged up with grief = disaster averted.
I never judge when I see these tragic stories, even before it happened to me. It's usually not negligence and the parents will live out a life sentence even if issued no punishment. They will be living in a purgatory of their own and don't need anyone else to add to it. |
Thank you for taking the time to write this out !
This explains perfectly & clearly how something like this can happen .
| |
|
Back to top |
0
6
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 6:36 pm
I have an automation set up on my iPhone that when it disconnects from CarPlay, it asks me (verbally) a question meant to remind me if there are any kids here. (I set up a list of questions and it chooses one at random.)
For example, "Are Dovid or Moishy in the car?" "Did you check the back seat?" "Which of the kids came with you this time?" and I make a habit of answering it aloud, "No, I didn't bring Moishy or Dovid with me this time." I make sure to connect my phone to CarPlay every time I drive anywhere.
What I'd love is if putting the car into park would show a live view of the back seat on the backup camera screen. That way I'd see in a second if anyone else is in the car.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
5
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 6:52 pm
yellowroses wrote: | It’s called making hishtadlus. Like taking care of our bodies to avoid illness. |
I've seen many people here say that hishtadlus doesn't impact or change the outcome.
A person will get what they are meant to get.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 6:58 pm
Camellia -
Can you explain how to do this please?
| |
|
Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 6:59 pm
Also, how is there not an app for this??
Would appreciate if anyone knows of an app
| |
|
Back to top |
1
1
|
nu
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 8:05 pm
On waze go to settings and go to notifications-reminders -child reminder. After you reach your destination it will remind you to check for kids
| |
|
Back to top |
0
3
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 8:25 pm
This looks like a lot of steps but it's not as complicated as it might look
1) Using your iPhone, click on this link to add the shortcut I made:
https://www.icloud.com/shortcu.....f09a6
2) Press the button to "Add Shortcut."
2) You will now be in the Shortcuts app. In the bottom bar, choose "Automations" (on my phone it's the middle icon)
3) On the top of the new screen that opens, press the "+" button.
4) You'll now be at a screen called "Personal Automation." Scroll down and choose "CarPlay." (You want this shortcut to run when something happens to CarPlay)
5) Choose "Disconnects" (I.e. run this automation when the phone disconnects from CarPlay)
and "Run immediately" (you don't want to have to click on an alert for this to run)
And choose "Next" (top right)
6) Now search for the shortcut you just added and select it.
All done! Now you can go back to your home screen. Any time CarPlay disconnects, the shortcut will run and ask you if you checked for your kids.
If you want to edit the list of questions, go back to the Shortcuts app, make sure you're on the "Shortcuts" tab (left hand tab), search for the Car Safety shortcut, press the three dots in the top right, and add or delete any items from the list.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
3
|
Cookin4days
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 8:37 pm
amother Camellia wrote: | This looks like a lot of steps but it's not as complicated as it might look
1) Using your iPhone, click on this link to add the shortcut I made:
https://www.icloud.com/shortcu.....f09a6
2) Press the button to "Add Shortcut."
2) You will now be in the Shortcuts app. In the bottom bar, choose "Automations" (on my phone it's the middle icon)
3) On the top of the new screen that opens, press the "+" button.
4) You'll now be at a screen called "Personal Automation." Scroll down and choose "CarPlay." (You want this shortcut to run when something happens to CarPlay)
5) Choose "Disconnects" (I.e. run this automation when the phone disconnects from CarPlay)
and "Run immediately" (you don't want to have to click on an alert for this to run)
And choose "Next" (top right)
6) Now search for the shortcut you just added and select it.
All done! Now you can go back to your home screen. Any time CarPlay disconnects, the shortcut will run and ask you if you checked for your kids.
If you want to edit the list of questions, go back to the Shortcuts app, make sure you're on the "Shortcuts" tab (left hand tab), search for the Car Safety shortcut, press the three dots in the top right, and add or delete any items from the list.
|
Wow super helpful!!!! Thank you
| |
|
Back to top |
0
3
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 8:42 pm
amother Snowflake wrote: | Also, how is there not an app for this??
Would appreciate if anyone knows of an app |
There are some apps I found but I like using my own shortcut better.
Baby in Da Car (only alerts you once you arrive at work) - for me that's not helpful, I don't want to forget a baby if I am going to the store or coming home either!
BabyOnBoard (doesn't have great reviews)
I like mine especially that it doesn't say the same thing every time so I don't get immune, and also that it's phrased as a question so I have to answer it.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
cookier
↓
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 9:13 pm
amother Ultramarine wrote: | I need a device that will only sound an alarm when baby is there. DH rarely takes baby in car. He gets in and out of his car many many times over the course of a day. He would totally tune out its reminder and it wouldn't accomplish its purpose for the one time that baby is there out of thousands of times he exits car.
(For myself, I always open the door where car seat is, so I don't need a device as importantly.) |
What kind of car seat do you have? Any plans to get a new one soon? Does he have a smartphone?
| |
|
Back to top |
0
0
|
amother
DarkPurple
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 9:13 pm
amother Camellia wrote: | This looks like a lot of steps but it's not as complicated as it might look
1) Using your iPhone, click on this link to add the shortcut I made:
https://www.icloud.com/shortcu.....f09a6
2) Press the button to "Add Shortcut."
2) You will now be in the Shortcuts app. In the bottom bar, choose "Automations" (on my phone it's the middle icon)
3) On the top of the new screen that opens, press the "+" button.
4) You'll now be at a screen called "Personal Automation." Scroll down and choose "CarPlay." (You want this shortcut to run when something happens to CarPlay)
5) Choose "Disconnects" (I.e. run this automation when the phone disconnects from CarPlay)
and "Run immediately" (you don't want to have to click on an alert for this to run)
And choose "Next" (top right)
6) Now search for the shortcut you just added and select it.
All done! Now you can go back to your home screen. Any time CarPlay disconnects, the shortcut will run and ask you if you checked for your kids.
If you want to edit the list of questions, go back to the Shortcuts app, make sure you're on the "Shortcuts" tab (left hand tab), search for the Car Safety shortcut, press the three dots in the top right, and add or delete any items from the list.
|
Thanks so much!!
I just added it.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
2
|
↑
yellowroses
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 10:10 pm
amother Lightgreen wrote: | I've seen many people here say that hishtadlus doesn't impact or change the outcome.
A person will get what they are meant to get. |
This is true, nevertheless Hashem expects of us to make our part. This is simply how HE designed this world to run. Human beings have to make hishtadlus. We don’t know Hashems plans, we have to give our best with what we know and understand at the moment.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
amother
Puce
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 10:28 pm
amother Camellia wrote: | This looks like a lot of steps but it's not as complicated as it might look
1) Using your iPhone, click on this link to add the shortcut I made:
https://www.icloud.com/shortcu.....f09a6
2) Press the button to "Add Shortcut."
2) You will now be in the Shortcuts app. In the bottom bar, choose "Automations" (on my phone it's the middle icon)
3) On the top of the new screen that opens, press the "+" button.
4) You'll now be at a screen called "Personal Automation." Scroll down and choose "CarPlay." (You want this shortcut to run when something happens to CarPlay)
5) Choose "Disconnects" (I.e. run this automation when the phone disconnects from CarPlay)
and "Run immediately" (you don't want to have to click on an alert for this to run)
And choose "Next" (top right)
6) Now search for the shortcut you just added and select it.
All done! Now you can go back to your home screen. Any time CarPlay disconnects, the shortcut will run and ask you if you checked for your kids.
If you want to edit the list of questions, go back to the Shortcuts app, make sure you're on the "Shortcuts" tab (left hand tab), search for the Car Safety shortcut, press the three dots in the top right, and add or delete any items from the list.
|
Just set it up. THANK YOU! You have no idea how many lives you may have saved by taking the time to write this up.
| |
|
Back to top |
0
3
|
amother
|
Sun, Jul 21 2024, 10:36 pm
Wow, thank you so much for taking the time to write this up!!!
| |
|
Back to top |
0
1
|
ray family
|
Mon, Jul 22 2024, 12:34 am
amother Camellia wrote: | I have an automation set up on my iPhone that when it disconnects from CarPlay, it asks me (verbally) a question meant to remind me if there are any kids here. (I set up a list of questions and it chooses one at random.)
For example, "Are Dovid or Moishy in the car?" "Did you check the back seat?" "Which of the kids came with you this time?" and I make a habit of answering it aloud, "No, I didn't bring Moishy or Dovid with me this time." I make sure to connect my phone to CarPlay every time I drive anywhere.
What I'd love is if putting the car into park would show a live view of the back seat on the backup camera screen. That way I'd see in a second if anyone else is in the car. |
How do you do this?
Edit: I see you answered above
Thank you!!!
| |
|
Back to top |
0
0
|
Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
Saying no to a child - intuition
|
33 |
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 11:29 am |
|
|
Any ideas for a child that wants to learn engineering?
|
40 |
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 10:25 am |
|
|
How do you decide when to save and when to spend?
|
20 |
Fri, Nov 22 2024, 6:00 am |
|
|
Lap Child Birthday mid travel, buy return ticket?
|
5 |
Wed, Nov 20 2024, 10:27 pm |
|
|
My child needs a personal invitation
|
9 |
Wed, Nov 20 2024, 2:58 pm |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
| |
|
|
|
|
|