Why do we learn Torah?

amother

OP ↓

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 9:06 am

My DS 13 yesterday asked me why it's so important that's he learns Torah. This coming year is going to have a much more rigorous schedule and he is dreading it and wondering why it's so important for them to learn so many hours in a day. You would think I would have a good answer for this but all my answers fell flat. Please share how would you answer this question

DrMom

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 9:19 am

Because the Torah contains the Laws which Hashem gave us, so we must understand these Laws very well so we know how to do mitzvot.

(I don't understand -- until now you never thought there was any reason for Jews to learn Torah?)

amother

Charcoal ↓

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 9:57 am

Hashem, The Jews, The Torah are one unit. Hashem created the world through Torah. He created the world in order to give the Torah to us, his people, as a gift that binds us to Him forever. We have a body and a neshama and just as we sustain our bodies by providing physical needs, oxygen, water, nutrients, we sustain our souls with Torah. Without oxygen, water or food our body withers and dies. Same happens to our souls (chas veshalom) without Torah.

PinkFridge ↓

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 10:02 am

amother OP wrote:

Ideally, it's our oxygen, life, and pleasure. At his age, he's getting basic knowledge and tools. But he should have some taste of how it animates people. Ask if he's had any rebbeim who are animated by Torah, who seem to be kinder, better people because they learn Torah.

mha3484

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 10:06 am

Your asking why he should want to learn but I have a boy that age so I understand how long the day is and the mesivta pressure of 8th grade. I would focus on that vs convincing him. Its a year of a lot of transitions and expectations. How does he feel about that?

Bethany85

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 10:17 am

DrMom wrote:

I agree, but then shouldn’t the primary focus be on practical halacha and not Gemara?

amother

Chartreuse

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 10:19 am

amother OP wrote:

If you DH is capable of doing so, have him read Nefesh Hachaim chapter 4.

↑ PinkFridge ↓

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 10:19 am

Rabbi Lopiansky has a new sefer that's kind of like Ben Torah for Life but for bachurim. I wonder if you would get some ideas from there.
You can tell him that this the system, it's the best place for him to be, and you'll do what you can to help him thrive and not just survive.

↑ PinkFridge

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 10:21 am

Bethany85 wrote:

I agree, but then shouldn’t the primary focus be on practical halacha and not Gemara?

Ameilus b'Torah (first Rashi in Bechukosai). This is the trajectory OP's son is on, and all men should have a shaichus to this.
Not to mention understanding the process behind the bottom line.
And Jewish literacy.

amother

Clematis

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 10:23 am

Sounds less like he’s struggling with the concept of learning Torah, and more that he has legitimate worries about a bigger workload/ more intense schedule in school. Maybe that’s what really needs addressing.

In terms of the actual question:
We learn Torah in order to connect to H-Shem and ultimate wisdom. If we integrate the wisdom we find in the Torah into our lives and personalities, that’s how we can become truly great. If we don’t integrate the wisdom, then it’s merely an academic discipline like any other.

BUT, and this is a great big but, I really wish it was more acceptable to admit that not every boy is cut out for 13 hours of Talmud study for minimum 13 years of his life. Maybe some would do so much better focusing on their secular studies, with a manageable amount of kodesh, and frum society not telling them they are failures, but appreciating the different kochos they bring to society.

Thisisnotmyreal

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 11:23 am

Time for chassidus.
Because it's giving the Eibershter a hug. The Eibershter that provides everything for him.

It's the only way to adapt from our current reality to the Geula reality. As Torah alone is what changes us.

As the Torah is the instruction manual for this world and is applicable to every era of time.

A lot more.

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 11:35 am

Thank you everyone. These are great answers and good advice. There are different aspects going on with him. One is definitely the amount of hours spent learning and the other is a real fundamental question of how does this apply to my life practically? I think at this age boys don't necessarily see or feel the need for this deep connection and meaning in their life.
I agree that most 13 Even 14 year olds are not able or willing to sit that many hours and learn but yet it's very hard to find a good Yeshiva that combines learning other subjects and pursuing other interests with Torah Learning. Wish that was considered normal and mainstream! My son needs Sports, it even helps him be a better learner but that's not a focus in most places. I wish boys could learn other skills and talents that could apply to everyday Life as well.
I have a feeling if I told him some of these answers he would say back to me how does an ox plowing someone else's field make me a better person, connect me to Hashem, or give me direction in life.
And while I'm on this topic why is there so much focus on gemara, I wish they would learn more Chumash at this age as well.
Somewhat venting here but do appreciate everyone's advice. Keep it coming

amother

↑ Charcoal

Fri, Jul 19 2024, 1:21 pm

Bethany85 wrote:

I agree, but then shouldn’t the primary focus be on practical halacha and not Gemara?

Yes that would be right. That’s why even though we have an obligation to do the mitzvot and to study Halacha in order to know how to do them, that’s not the reason we learn Torah. Torah study is a separate obligation in and of itself. What DrMom said, that we learn Torah to know how to do mitzvot, isn’t wrong, but that’s not why men spend so much time learning. We learn Torah because that’s what nourishes our souls and brings us close to Hashem. Gemara is literally the Oral Torah, the Torah she’be’al peh that Moshe brought down at Har Sinai together with the written Torah. I know a teenager might not feel it in his bones yet, but that’s not a reason not to tell him the true answer. How he can deal with the hours of study is a separate discussion you can have with him. The sweetness comes along with the learning but it can take time to get there.