Eating out without the pressure

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 4:08 pm

DH and I like to eat out for date night especially in extreme weather so we can sit and schmooze and enjoy some food. The thing is we don't want to order a drink, appetizers, main and dessert so we can have more time together. Forget the money, its too much food for us. The problem is there is always pressure from the wait staff to either be eating or to leave. Would you like to order a drink, would you like to order anything else, would you like to order dessert? No. Go away. Even when the place is mostly empty it's like this. Last week we were in and out of a restaurant in under an hour, didn't feel like much of a date night or treat and we did order apps but they brought the main out only a few minutes later.
Are there places in Brooklyn/Manhattan that are not like that?
Alternatively, does anyone have any ideas where we can have that style date that isn't a restaurant? We don't want to do an activity and we don't want to be walking around. We just want to sit somewhere indoors and talk.

amother

Indigo

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 4:10 pm

I’ve sat for 2 hours and just ordered one thing. Maybe once they checked in if we needed anything and left us alone the rest of the time. You don’t have to buy so much to sit. The pressure might come more from yourself thinking there are expectations.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 5:43 pm

amother Indigo wrote:

It is definitely not in my head. The waiters or waitresses are continuously moving us along.

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 5:48 pm

mommyhood wrote:

Barnes n noble, Starbucks or even a hotel lobby.

We don't eat/drink Starbucks drinks.
Maybe a hotel lobby.
Neither of us drinks anything other than water. At least when we dated we did colas.
This is why potentially eating out is a nice idea but it's not feeling that way anymore.

singleagain

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 5:50 pm

If you are sitting there taking up the table, your preventing someone else from having it and them getting a tip.

Since tips are usually a percent of the total, of course they either want a bigger total or more tickets.

And if it was empty... Was it possible they were near close... The staff wants to go home.

Cheiny

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 5:51 pm

amother OP wrote:

It is definitely not in my head. The waiters or waitresses are continuously moving us along.

They shouldn’t be rushing you out, especially if they’re not crowded.
I’d ignore them and just sit as long as I please.

↑ mommyhood

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 5:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

Totally get it and it’s not at all in your head. At least one Manhattan restaurant writes on the reservation that you’re limited to a certain amount of time depending on the number of people. It was an hour or an hour and a quarter for 2 people so not a long relaxing experience.
It’s probably too far for you but the food court in American Dream is a nice place to sit and eat, if you go on a random day/night there’s plenty of empty areas and no one will kick you out.

amother

Jade

Thu, Jul 18 2024, 9:05 pm

You can order slowly.

Put in an order for 2 appetizers, then say you're still deciding on the main.
Wait for the appetizer to come.
When the waiter comes around next, order another appetizer in place of the main. It's a smaller portion so you won't end up with too much food.
Eat slowly.
If the waiter comes again ask for the dessert menu, but don't order right away. When he comes back say you're still deciding.
At some point you can order a drink if you want.
Either do or don't get dessert, your choice, it's ok to ask for the dessert menu and then say you've decided not to get dessert.
The waiter should at some point get the hint that you're having a leisurely meal.

Obviously don't do this on a crowded night where others may be waiting for your table. But if it's quiet and you're just feeling rushed by the staff, this can give you the time to enjoy your date.