Seeking info about Crohns for shidduch that was suggested

amother

↑ Cognac

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 7:00 pm

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

There are different levels of crohns. If he had surgery at this young age then his crohns is more advanced than others. Keep this in mind.

Not necessarily. At all.
People with serious advanced crohns dont stay symptom free for 7 years.
I would sooner think that he had serious stomach symptoms for years that were dismissed as "probably IBS or a sensitive stomach" like so many people rationalize, and that until he got himself checked out and diagnosed, he had done some serious damage to his colon without realizing.
To be symptom free for 7 years is a very stable, treated Crohns.

amother

Lightblue

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 7:04 pm

I just wanted to say that if the individual is female , Stelara can be taken in pregnancy and most patients do very well during pregnancy with Crohn’s. The complications are usually related to malabsorption, so iron deficiency anemia and fetal growth restriction. It’s unclear if your child is the male or female component of the relationship, so I just wanted to make that point.

amother

Zinnia

Thu, Jul 11 2024, 8:54 pm

was this something suggested or came on a date (usually around the 4th)

Also I dont get the question. If you dont want this to work out or you dont like it you are more than welcome to say no. If you like the person for other qualities you heard then you have to look at the package as a whole and see if you want it.

amother

Caramel

Fri, Jul 12 2024, 12:17 am

I have Crohn’s. I’ve been taking shots/infusion for almost 10 years now. I had one flare in the past 10 years, no hospitalizations. I don’t feel like it has ever impacted my life in any way, besides for the occasional stomachache I get when I eat something I shouldn’t (Just like everyone else). It doesn’t affect my day to day life, the things I do, the decisions I make…
Obviously, there are different types of Crohn’s and it can vary from being mild to moderate to severe and everyone’s presents differently, but if someone did not have a flare in 7 years it’s probably very mild. And if they had surgery, most of the affected area was probably removed, which is even better. Crohn’s is very prevalent in the Ashkenaz Jewish community, you can do your research on the numbers and you’d be surprised how common it is.
Happy to answer any specific questions you have but everyone is different and I can only talk from my experience

amother

Wine

Fri, Jul 12 2024, 12:22 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

Honestly, based on the phrasing of your question, it doesn't sound like a shidduch. Your daughter needs to respect her husband including the strength of character built through his medical challenges, and not see him as "not 100%".

Agree. Someone with that attitude would not be a good match for someone with Crohn’s disease.

HonesttoGod

Fri, Jul 12 2024, 6:26 am

I feel like chrons is practically the tell tale sign of Ashkenazi Jews.
Oh you’re Ashkenazi and you DONT have chrons? Wow! Lucky!

The fact that they’re being open and honest about it is HUGE! Your child definitely needs to get the 100% thing out of their head. No one is 100%.

amother

Celeste

Fri, Jul 12 2024, 7:02 am

I hear the concern you have. Overall, I would lump chrons in the same category as food allergies. Its the same common and same serious and same likely to be seen in the next generation and the same likely to come up from time to time in things that shouldn't or can't be eaten or mild annoying symptoms once in a while as well as the need to rely on medication.

If that person is really an excellent match and would be an amazing partner who makes your child happy and is an awesome parent to the next generation would you consider it then? Is it worth a date or two to check out if that is the possibility? Is your child able to be mature send sensitive to someone who may have an issue that comes up ever?

What you know upfront is that you are dealing with honest people, that's not nothing. How important is that to you?

I won't judge you poorly for taking the time to be searching your thoughts and feelings, you have to be honest with yourself if this is something child can take on with a full heart and not resent after getting used to it.