Why did no one thank me?

flowerpower ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:16 am

amother OP wrote:

I guess I was raised differently
I had a baby a few months ago and either sent thank you cards - mailed! - or texted people to thank them

I am with you!!! It takes 5 seconds to be a mentch. I don’t buy the whole “too overwhelmed that can’t send a fast text thing”. I feel for you

amother

↑ Burgundy ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:17 am

flowerpower wrote:

I am with you!!! It takes 5 seconds to be a mentch. I don’t buy the whole “too overwhelmed that can’t send a fast text thing”. I feel for you

May you never understand.

↑ Queen Of Hearts ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:19 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

A narcissistic person will never admit that they're a narcissist.
My grandma is a classic narcissist and you attitude reminds me of her.
I didn't say you're a narcissist. But all your posts to exhibit narcissistic traits. I'm worried about how you'd treat your children when they're post partum. People with your attitude, are part of the cause of PPD and PP psychosis.

Wow. Getting personal here...
Why don't you own up to your opinion with your SN?

amother

Forsythia ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:20 am

Queen Of Hearts wrote:

BH I did. I have very demanding babies who keep me up all night.
But texting someone 2 words 'Thank You' doesn't take that much out of a person.

Out of you it doesn't. But out of someone else it does.
And yes, some women can barely manage to shower. Barely manage to eat. Can't think. Can't function.
Happy for you that you didn't experience this, but please know that this is something women go through pp.

amother

↑ Outerspace ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:20 am

flowerpower wrote:

I am with you!!! It takes 5 seconds to be a mentch. I don’t buy the whole “too overwhelmed that can’t send a fast text thing”. I feel for you

Thank hashem that you don't know what it means, and quit judging post partum mom's. We need to support each other's, instead of this horrendous mom shaming going on here.

↑ flowerpower

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:20 am

amother cornflower wrote:

Bad manners
You don’t need to send a card, but an effusive thank you - either a call or text, is not too much to ask.

Agreed. Whenever I get a gift or fresh cookies from a neighbor after giving birth I send them a text thanking them right away. I takes 2 seconds and it shows appreciation. They went out of their way for me and deserve it. It literally takes 2 seconds. How hard is it to be a mentch?!?

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:20 am

OP, my mother ע"ה was very strict about sending thank you cards. I remember she said within ten days.
Has ten days passed?

amother

↑ Tiffanyblue ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:23 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

It is rude that I'm in a such an overwhelmed daze post partum that I do not have a bit of energy for my phone?
What is wrong with people?

I do not expect people to be up to date on news, shmooze to friends, text for entertainment but a quick, thank you, your supper was really appreciated is basic menshlichkeit. I am so shocked by this thread.

Trust me, I make suppers multiple times a month. There is definitely a pattern whrere I see people with manners and middos somehow managing to send a text which takes a min. Some even call and give a long detail speech which is nice but totally over the top.

Some people text a day or two later, which is fine too. Some remember a week later which is ALSO fine. Some forget which is a shame.

But to have a policy of shutting your phone down, so not able to send a text is plain weird.

amother

↑ Burgundy ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:23 am

flowerpower wrote:

You find it quick and easy. Others don't.

I find it easy to relocate a garter snake. You pick up the snake, walk to the new location where you want it to be, and then you put it down. Easy as 1-2-3. But I know a lot of people who don't find it as easy, and I don't judge them. Not that it comes up very often.

amother

↑ Tiffanyblue ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:26 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

Thank hashem that you don't know what it means, and quit judging post partum mom's. We need to support each other's, instead of this horrendous mom shaming going on here.

Why are you normalizing bad middos?

YOU ARE NOT DISABLED AFTER GIVING BIRTH!

My doula stressed that time and again. You might be in immense pain like I was, stitches, infection, swelling, extreme nipple pain and bleeding, back pain and other stuff but it shouldn't become normal not to thank.

Perhaps get your hubby to type out the text, a child, thank them at a later date, but stop pretending like most new mothers can't just send a one min text. It's beyond me. So entitled.

amother

↑ Tiffanyblue ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:29 am

amother Outerspace wrote:

A narcissistic person will never admit that they're a narcissist.
My grandma is a classic narcissist and your attitude reminds me of her.
I didn't say you're a narcissist. But all your posts to exhibit narcissistic traits. I'm worried about how you'd treat your children when they're post partum. People with your attitude, are part of the cause of PPD and PP psychosis.

You've got it all wrong.

Thanking someone for something they've done for you is far from narcisstic. Honestly, you've just described yourself.

How entitled can you be to be wanting help, food offers etc. AND NOT EVEN HAVE THE DECENCY TO GIVE A SIMPLE THANK YOU!!!

What is wrong with people.

amother

↑ Forsythia ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:32 am

amother cornflower wrote:

Bad manners
You don’t need to send a card, but an effusive thank you - either a call or text, is not too much to ask.

literally anything is too much to ask. You shouldn't be asking for thank yous.

amother

Royalblue ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:32 am

amother Jetblack wrote:

This is really an unfair expectation on someone who just had a baby. She probably got many things and has to go through the list of who to thank. It’s not like they only got your item and it’s super easy to send just one text. You really need to be more caring about what other people are dealing with and make it a whole lot less about yourself.

I didn't read all replies, but sorry this is so wrong. Basis of yiddishkeit, and mentchlichkeit, if somoene sends something, you can take one minute to thank. If not, it's very selfish. Let her text while in the bathroom, don't care. No reason not to. Agree to cut the mother some slack. But to blame OP after she send a whole shabbos and a gift, that's really mixed up!

amother

↑ Royalblue ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:34 am

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

EXACTLY! What craziness! Btw, this is why I stopped doing favors. People are so entitled, that you literally get criticized by doing a favor. I noticed this alot. It's beyond

amother

↑ Jetblack ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:35 am

amother Royalblue wrote:

Basis of yiddishkeit is you give without demanding thanks and you happily take care of those who need help like a postpartum mom.

amother

↑ Royalblue

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:35 am

amother Burgundy wrote:

Well then now is a perfect time to learn my dear. Whole torah is based on this. It says that someone who doesnt have hakaros hatov will end up going against Hashem c"v

amother

↑ Outerspace ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:36 am

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

I do not want or expect anything. And if someone can only do a favor for a post partum women if they get an immediate thank you call or text, then please don't send me anything. You're not doing me any favors.
Chazal teach us that we shouldn't do favors for people if we expect recognition in return. We should do favors out of the goodness of our hearts.

amother

↑ Forsythia ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:37 am

flowerpower wrote:

I am with you!!! It takes 5 seconds to be a mentch. I don’t buy the whole “too overwhelmed that can’t send a fast text thing”. I feel for you

You don't need to "buy" anything. No one's selling their pp experiences.
But as you can see, some people feel differently pp than you do.

amother

Daylily ↓

Sun, Jul 07 2024, 11:41 am

Its simple mentchlich to thank a person who spent so much time and energy to send food and gifts. How long does it take to text, "thank you so much"?