If I don't miss my children who are in camp

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 9:28 pm

What does it say about me and my relationship with my children?
I feel like a horrible mother but I'm happy they are safe and enjoying themselves. I'm also happy to have a break from them and don't miss them at all. It makes me feel like something is wrong with our relationship.

amother

Mimosa

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 9:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

It doesn't say much at all. All it says is that you have worked very hard all year and are now enjoying some downtime.

You are a person too. You also deserves breaks and R&R.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 9:36 pm

amother Mimosa wrote:

It doesn't say much at all. All it says is that you have worked very hard all year and are now enjoying some downtime.

You are a person too. You also deserves breaks and R&R.

That's a nice way of putting it. Thank you.

salt

Tue, Jul 02 2024, 10:12 pm

I'm also happy when my kids are away and I know they're happy.
If I have no reason to worry about their wellbeing, safety or happiness, then I'm happy for them, and excited to hear their experiences when they return, but don't miss then as such.

amother

Pink

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 5:57 am

You are so normal!
It means that you are conscious that you are raising them to be independent individuals.
It is a lack of codependency
It means you live in the present and seize opportunities.
You enjoy your alone time and/or time with DH.
You have object permanence and are aware that they are fine and will come back.

giftedmom ↓

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 6:21 am

amother Wine wrote:

I didn't really miss my boys last year...
firstly, it's a few short weeks! and I was happy they were happy...
I spoke to them at least once a week...

One a week? lol my son called me 6 times yesterday.

amother

↑ Petunia ↓

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 6:25 am

giftedmom wrote:

One a week? lol my son called me 6 times yesterday.

My son called me last year every day multiple times. I ended up ignoring the phone and feeling horrible and guilty.

keym

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 6:26 am

giftedmom wrote:

One a week? lol my son called me 6 times yesterday.

Its a personality thing.

I have 1 son who calls me everyday.
And another son who will happily not call at all, and I need to set the rules that he must call once a week.

↑ giftedmom ↓

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 6:26 am

amother Petunia wrote:

My son called me last year every day multiple times. I ended up ignoring the phone and feeling horrible and guilty.

I don’t mind. It’s 2-3 minutes each time.

amother

Camellia ↓

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 6:39 am

amother OP wrote:

Lol I was drafting this exact post in my head last night!

Wondering if I'm normal that I enjoy the space when my kids are away.

Although I've never sent a kid to camp for longer then 2 weeks (not because I 'control' them or anything), simply because that's the norm where I live (outside of America). Only sent 3 kids out of a bunch ka'H, just for a Summer or 2 each. A lot of Summers, 29 years of them lol.

Usually just rent an Airbnb for a week or two. Sounds idyllic? It is (cheap too).

Although we only have 5 weeks vacay in the Summer, and very few mothers work full time. If not for that, it would be a whole nother story I'd imagine.

happyness ↓

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 6:44 am

I had the same question:)
I’m enjoying the change and would love to hear from him but I’m not really missing him.
It does feel really weird tho. One minute he’s home and here and the next he’s off for eight weeks.

He called once and sounded like he’s thrilled so I’m glad he’s happy.

amother

Magenta

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 6:44 am

I think it depends on the child. When my oldest child who is hfa goes away for second half I will barely miss her. There will be moments that feel weird without her. She is very present in my life daily. She is needy. But if my second child were to go away I would miss our conversations. But as others said, it doesn't suggest you are a bad parent. Just needing r and r.

↑ happyness ↓

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 7:11 am

lol I literally just got a call from him.

“Ma, remember you said if someone bothers me you’ll take me home?”
“Yea…?”

So I’d had a talk about safety and I told him that if anyone chv bothers you and you’re not safe it’s the right thing to tell us and we will come get you.

“So my menahel is horrible and he’s mean to me”

“What’s he doing? Just to you?”

He says to everyone. If you come a few seconds late it’s big trouble.

I asked him if he really wanted to come home over that. I wasn’t sure, but It sounded like he just needed to impress me with the severity of how he thought of the menahel.

“I gotta go Ma”

I was like wait- tell me more

“ I can’t I’ll be late”

I told him to call back, I wanna hear if it’s better.

Not gonna lie, I’m a bit lost. Obviously I need to explain to him what I meant by someone bothering you and not being safe.

Hoping it’s normal? To land from the high and see that camp has got challenges too?

kenz

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 7:15 am

happyness wrote:

Definitely give him a few days to adapt.

Last edited by kenz on Wed, Jul 03 2024, 5:00 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Latte

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 7:18 am

giftedmom wrote:

One a week? lol my son called me 6 times yesterday.

the camp lets?
my daughter is given time on friday to call and that's it.
but she's in a very well run small camp and I know that I can always reach out to them and they'll know what's going on with her so it works for us.

↑ happyness ↓

Wed, Jul 03 2024, 7:18 am

kenz wrote:

Definitely giving him a few days to adapt.

Of course

Tho now with this phone call on my head it’s like he’s right back home near me😉

Last edited by happyness on Thu, Jul 04 2024, 4:30 am; edited 1 time in total