Hardtail skirts | Imamother

amother

Fuchsia

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 2:17 am

amother Oak wrote:

Many moons ago when I was a teen, Bennetton shirts, Banana Republic, Guess jean skirts, and other brands were a thing and they were expensive. My mother would buy my sisters and I each a few of these, on a credit card. Then the bill would come in and my father would nearly pass out. Both of my parents worked but did not earn huge salaries. I remember the tension this caused and still carry some resentment towards my mother for doing this. She held that you ‘needed’ to buy the newest brand name clothing for girls to fit in. All this did was make us resent our normal clothes and obsess over buying more name
brands. This kept putting my family into debt and caused shalom bayis issues with my parents.
I would just ask mothers to take a stand and not lay out huge sums you might not have so your daughter can ‘fit in’. It’s a horrible message to send to our children.

Why did it cause you to want to buy more brand name clothing?

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 2:45 am

amother Ultramarine wrote:

I really agree with you. I would suck up the 180 and make my kid feel good about herself. 1x a year it’s really not so crazy

But it isn't 1x a year. Styles change. The fads change. As soon as everyone (or "too many") have whatever the fad is, it changes overnight.
It isn't just camp. Shabbos clothes. YT clothes. Hair accessories or shoes or backpacks or other stuff for school... Banging head

You are feeding the beast and it will grow and end up biting you.

amother

Caramel

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 6:56 am

I had to ask my girls about this because I thought I overspent when spent $75 on some of their skirts . We live in Lakewood and they care very much about how they dress and not to look nerdy. They said umm yes some girls get these expensive skirts and no they would never ask for it because they new we would be upset and they reassured me, no they don’t really need these skirts. Hope they’re not feeling deprived…

amother

Kiwi

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:27 am

I am in complete shock reading all this. I am from Europe and we love fashion but this sounds insane!!

My in laws live in the tri state and living there is an option. I know about the pressure from my sisters in law in school but I am so sad reading this thread. It must be so hard being a tean in this environment with parents that have no backbone.

My sister in law came to visit us in Israel this month and she was wearing one of those skirts. I had no idea what it was until this thread. Honestly, I was wondering what that style was all about. She kinda looked hideous in it, too clingy and she isn't a size 4 but not large either.

Mothers, do your daughters a favor and be them mechanach! Don't just go with the flow and then complain about it. You're the problem. Don't blame your daughters.

BTW, I was that kid who didn't have all that stuff (Although I must admit the pressure wasn't as intense although we had plenty stuff we cared about) and now in hindsight, it was not the end of the world.

amother

Kiwi

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:49 am

Aurora wrote:

I was also a kid who didn't have all the stuff. I turned out ok, and now I actually have a sense of style that I cultivated from learning to work with what I had.

It's funny how they call this trends and fashion.

To me, this is the opposite of fashion. It sounds more like a uniform! Why does everyone need the exact same thing? So nerdy! When I shop, I hate to buy things that everyone has! I like to use my own sense of style in combination with currant fashion e.g colors, materials, styles.

I can't wrap my head around this.

Aurora

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:50 am

amother Kiwi wrote:

Me too. and sometimes I'll absolutely pass on trends because of how ugly I think they are. I think it's more fun when I get to play with my clothes.

amother

Starflower

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 8:53 am

DrMom wrote:

What is so special about these skirts?

I can’t speak specifically about the Lola, but for me it’s the super soft buttery feel against my skin.
I buy the 90% cotton ones that have 10% lycra in them. I live in them all summer, love the feel of them, they’re so comfortable. I actually first started wearing Hardtail when I put on some weight, my regular zip up skirts couldn’t close, but a lot of hard tail have stretchy elastic waistbands.
You just step right into it, like a half slip, and it’s very forgiving at the waist… no zippers or buttons.
They’re machine washable AND dryable. I’ve never had any shrinkage.
Size up, they run small.

I feel for the moms, and I don’t blame them. It’s not easy seeing your daughter in that position. I would buy for my daughter, it’s the price of being in that kind of environment.
For me, I don’t fargin myself that price, so I buy second hand.

amother

Garnet

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 9:03 am

amother Seafoam wrote:

I’m in my 30s and this was going on in my days. Everyone had hardtail skirts in camp and juicy sweatshirts. I see both sides of the argument and I have boys (my girls are still little)
I felt very deprived as a kid, it def carried into my adulthood and affects my spending habits to this day (as much as I try not to!)
I wish there was a magic solution

I was actually deprived as a kid, not fake deprived because I didn't get a Juicy sweatshirt. And I don't feel resentful for never fitting in because I recognized even then, as I kid, that my parents were doing the best they could. And I'm a normal responsible adult who feels she had a good childhood and have very reasonable responsible spending habits now.

Eta: It's precisely the opposite of what you say. It's the kids that were indulged with every new thing that came out are the ones that as adults struggle with spending habits. The ones that were told "no" are the ones that learned boundaries and limits, which carries over to responsible spending habits as adults.

amother

Opal

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 9:30 am

I wouldn’t buy hard tail because my friend who owns a clothing store says that the owner of the hard tail company is antisemetic, but since most people don’t know, she has to buy them for her store.

amother

Sage

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 9:37 am

amother Honey wrote:

Im shocked.

As someone who considers herself a fashion maven, but no longer shops for teens, I cant believe how anyone would buy these "shluchy" skirts for that kind of money.

How are they noticeably different than skirts in any other Tznius womens stores?

https://alist100.com/products/lola-skirt

Haha fellow fashionista here...the skirts are mad fugly

Aurora

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 9:41 am

amother Sage wrote:

Haha fellow fashionista here...the skirts are mad fugly

I like them, but more because they're long and it looks like I can move in them. and I wouldn't have chosen to style with a plain t-shirt.

amother

Starflower

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 9:42 am

amother Kiwi wrote:

Maybe the school uniforms plus the uniformity in a lot of other areas in those type of communities create this need? It’s very cookie cutter. You NEED to conform..
It would be nice if the schools would talk about individuality..

amother

Magenta

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 10:46 am

Even if you had the money, $160 for that skirt?? I think it is a chutzpah to spend that much. Especially when there are so many familes struggling out there. Hashem didn't give you money to spend on such an expensive skirt. And the parents that spend, why can't you tell your child, no?? Sorry, we are raising such a spoiled generation.

Aurora

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 10:49 am

amother Magenta wrote:

Well, the daughters will thank their parents appropriately at the wedding.

amother

Maple

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 12:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

Is there anywhere to buy hardtail Lola skirts right now ? Alist is completely sold out in every color.

Get her some other hard tail things like 2 tshirts and the fame skirt. No one thinks fame is nerdy, it’s a normal regular brand and it’s ridiculous for you to go running around for a dumb skirt. That’s not modeling good behavior. If she wants it, she can do her own research on how to get that skirt

amother

Foxglove

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 12:37 pm

amother Caramel wrote:

I was like your daughters growing up, I would not ask my mother to buy me designer stuff because I knew she wouldn't buy it for me and we couldn't afford it. I would've liked having them but didn't feel deprived because of it, now as an adult I stay away from designer brands too just because they seem a waste of money. I am impulsive with my spending and buy a lot of clothes that I like but not typical designer stuff more from niche brands and quality stuff but that's just my personality my other siblings are more careful with their spending so doesn't seem to have affected us much.

Good for you that you've instilled in your daughters a good financial sense.

amother

DarkMagenta

Mon, Jul 01 2024, 1:08 pm

I am a mother who generally would NEVER purchase my teenager (13) a $160 skirt, let alone ONLY $70 for the knockoffs. However this year I found 2 at a gemach, and several tops. She was with me, so I got them for her. She was over the moon thrilled.

If I were alone, I am still unsure as to what I would have done. I know she wanted them, and she NEVER asked, but in general I try and stay away from fads, b/c we really can't afford it and my husband would think I'd lost my mind, and hashkafically I just have a really hard time with it. I am feeling guilty.

If it were the $70 skirt she wanted, I would have asked her to pay half.

One point about the "old" days and todays standards. "Frumflation" has gotten insane IMHO. We went from $300 being expensive to purchasing $1200 coats for 12 year olds. We complain about out high cost of living. But we do this to ourselves. There have always been trends, this is true, however, it was never for the ultra luxurious items. Golden Goose sneakers for 15 year olds, COME ON PEOPLE. We are NUTS.

This was my main objection to taking almost free, brand new Hardtail skirts, I am feeding the beast.