Only got a vague voice note so I didnt go

amother

↑ Oatmeal

Sun, Jun 30 2024, 4:32 pm

Cheiny wrote:

And what is she had to make that “1 minute” call to 200 people because for some reason the invites weren’t received for whatever reason?

I highly doubt anyone would sit there sending 200 voice messages. if no one would have received her invite than she could have wrote a mass text explaining the situation which would have taken signifigantly less time and honestly seems more genuine and legit than a short vague unclear voice message.

amother

↑ OP

Sun, Jun 30 2024, 5:32 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

Update: the evites DID go out as planned and I was not on the invite list which is fine. The hostess posted on social media motzei shabbos the story of the evite mishap. She must have known I and others would see the post. There was an issue with the Evites, but it was resolved five weeks or so before the event. Everybody that she wanted to get the invitation, got it. The mishap simply involved it being billed to her sibling, the whole thing got canceled and then got resolved right away. I’m not sure why she mentioned it to me as the reason for the late invitation.

She is the mother of the chassan. I was invited for the chuppah via her “ Please join us this week at this time at this caterer”.

It’s fine that this is how she invited me, but I still think that it’s weird that she is hurt that I didn’t go. Like I said, we used to be friends but now we’re just friendly.

↑ Cheiny ↓

Sun, Jun 30 2024, 5:38 pm

amother Oatmeal wrote:

The point is no one knows what the situation was. But to expect the person making the simcha to have time to make however number of calls or whatever, in the midst of being busy with all the other prep and details for the simcha, is neither appropriate or realistic.

It’s clear if someone was interested in finding out the venue so they could attend, they certainly could.

↑ Cheiny

Sun, Jun 30 2024, 5:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

Friends should have room in their hearts for imperfection and mistakes…

Wolfsbane

Sun, Jun 30 2024, 6:19 pm

happy chick wrote:

I agree with the others that it was a real invite. She didn't call you an hour before the simcha as an afterthought. She looked up your name/number and left you a personal invite. She made sure to tell you the date/time and by accident forgot the location. You could have asked her to clarify.

But, now that it's over, to u can have a conversation with her and tell her how you really felt. If she's a good friend, she should understand.

When you think an invitation is pro-forma, it's awkward to ask for clarification because you're concerned the ba'alei hasimchah will now feel pressured to invite you "for real," and now you're imposing yourself where you're not wanted.