My husband is going away for a week

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 6:22 am

My husband is going away for a week for a family wedding abroad.

He's usually an equal partner in parenting and watches my toddler in the mornings (I go to work earlier) and generally does a lot around the house.

I'm looking for tips to manage on my own with an active two year old. I'm also pregnant so I have low energy levels.

I'm happy that he's getting a chance to go away and see his family but also a little nervous...

Any tips/ general advice?

oneofakind

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 6:24 am

Get outside cleaning help even if you usually don't have it. Get groceries delivered. Buy a new toy.

treetop12

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 6:28 am

See if you can get neighbors or friends to help. It isn't easy, especially the first time.
Be kind to yourself and try to push off whatever you can while he is away to the following week.

Ruchel

Tue, Jun 11 2024, 6:53 am

Memories of when my husband went to America for a week. I was pregnant, a baby and a toddler and a bigger one. My mom moved in. But I was extremely lucky

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:26 am

Thanks for your responses. He's leaving in a few days and I'm looking for easy indoor activities to do with my two year old. I've been dehydrating in the heat but that's all he wants to do so I'm not sure how I'll entertain him.

momX4

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:28 am

Check out your local public library. Many have story time for toddlers.

mha3484

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:28 am

Look for indoor play areas that you can sit while he runs around.

youngmother6

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:44 am

Think of young mothers whose husbands are in the army and they haven’t seen them for weeks or months at a time. It may not be helpful for you but it also might.

We are much stronger than we can imagine.
None of these women are super women they were just put in a situation and did it. Hopefully the is will help you be נושא בעול and be grateful for what you have.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:46 am

momX4 wrote:

Check out your local public library. Many have story time for toddlers.

The library is a great idea thank you.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:46 am

mha3484 wrote:

Look for indoor play areas that you can sit while he runs around.

Thanks!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:47 am

youngmother6 wrote:

Very valuable perspective, thank you so much.

mfb

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:49 am

Bath time as an activity. Like that he’s contained to one place and happy

amother

Ruby

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 5:29 pm

Do you have any friends or family you can go visit in afternoon to help the time pass? I would do that even though it’s not as convenient because then my toddler would be much more entertained. At home my kids just jump on me.

amother

Plum

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 6:00 pm

Hi OP I'm in the same boat. I have a toddler and pregnant with second. My husband is my right hand (I'm the left hand Laugh

) he's going abroad for a wedding, thankfully for me it's just 4 days. For those days I'm sending to a different babysitting group that offers extended hours. When I'll pick him up after work, I'll do indoor errands such as grocery, Target etc. By the time I get home with him well have dinner, do a long bath and sleep. If any outdoor time it'll be limited so as not to fully drain my energy. Easy frozen dinners for baby, take out from my favorite restaurants for me.

Lots of luck!

amother

Cyan

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 12:27 am

amother OP wrote:

This was me last week. Right down to the pregnancy. Except I have five kids and the reason DH flew was that his father is sick.
I sent the oldest (most challenging AND most indepedent) to a friend who lives near his school. The rest stayed home with me.

We have a high schooler who comes every week to fold laundry, the kids love her so I asked her to take the gan kids on the mornings I worked. I usually work every day (Mon-Thurs/Fri) but happened to have taken two days off that week for other reasons, so it worked out well BH (DH usually takes the kids the mornings I work; his workplace starts at 8 and mine at 7). One kid missed the school bus but BH there was someone available to step in.

I made it work by not doing anything. Anything that wasn't urgent I didn't do. With my older child (the one who missed the bus) each of us did a single task each day. I went to sleep with the kids. Got them ready for bed and in bed relatively early. Got myself showered at 8:30-9 and then in bed just after that. One night I was up until 11, but it was just one.

DH did ALL the laundry before he got on the plane so I only needed to do laundry on Friday, when he was supposed to be back (but wasn't, he was delayed until Sunday). We got the floor washed and the house pretty neat on Sunday and because of all the errands we were hardly home so it stayed mostly neat until Wednesday. Thursday/Friday we tried to clean up and we got the living room mostly tidy but not more than that.

We used disposables almost the entire week. Went to family for Shabbat. If you can't do that then buy Shabbat food or ask someone to cook for you. We had very simple suppers that week. DH had planned to cook a week's worth of suppers before getting on the plane, and freeze/refrigerate them, but he didn't get to, but it all worked out okay in the end.

We are in Israel and I just told myself that if the wives of the miluimnikim can do this for months then I can do it for a week, my situation is not so bad. True they have more help than I do but their husbands have been gone much longer. This is just a week and while nerve-wracking it's less so than having your husband in combat. Soooo.....

amother

Teal

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 12:58 am

My husband has been traveling for work for many years , and is gone most of the week. Although by now I’m used to it, the beginning felt the way you’re describing, I also had little
Kids , pregnant etc , but I just got used to doing errands with them after school and work, went to pizza, picnics at the park etc. I was very into being out of the house. On Sundays and longer nights in the summer we would hang with friends or family, neighbors. In the winter there was a lot of iPad watching which I am not proud of, but was needed at that time. Some years were harder than others.
You’re a nice wife that you’re so understanding of him being gone for an entire week, I know alot of people that make a really big deal when their husbands leave . It’ll be nice for him and exciting for your relationship when he gets back. What are you doing for Shabbos ? Good luck !

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 7:54 am

mfb wrote:

Bath time as an activity. Like that he’s contained to one place and happy

Thank you! He loves baths so this is a great idea!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 7:55 am

amother Ruby wrote:

Not really, not too much local friends and family. I wish.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 7:57 am

amother Plum wrote:

Hi OP I'm in the same boat. I have a toddler and pregnant with second. My husband is my right hand (I'm the left hand Laugh

Good luck to you as well! Hope your plan works out for you. You should see him in Target or the grocery though... It's go go go. He thinks the shopping cart is his and helpfully adds everything that looks interesting to him LOL

I accidentally came home with three packages of ground meat last week which I didn't realize he had added

Frozen dinners sounds like a good idea though!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 8:00 am

amother Cyan wrote:

Wow this sounds so challenging but it sounds like you aced it. I'm going to have to work remotely at nights to make up the time I'm missing each morning (I will be coming 1.5 hours late each day while my husband's away)

BH we are going away for Shabbos so that's taken care of, I think otherwise it will be very hard.

I have a lot of soup and chili in my freezer, but looking at the weather forecast I don't think I'll want to serve it. Too hot. But will definitely try and go easy, and maybe buy premade frozen stuff.