How to get kids to listen

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 6:13 pm

I am at my wits end. My oldest kids 6 and 7.5 do not listen. Its exhausting. My 6 yo has pretty severe adhd. How do you get your kids to listen and do age appropriate jobs? I've tried incentives, charts, rewards, etc. I just end up frustrated and yell.

giftedmom ↓

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 9:04 am

I wouldn’t waste energy on trying to get a 6 yo with adhd to do jobs. It’s hard enough to get them to do basics like get dressed, brush their teeth, and go to sleep.
For adhd I find it very helpful to physically direct them instead of yelling. I would physically take the child by the hand and lead them to the task.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 9:09 am

giftedmom wrote:

So I also feel that way, but then the older sibling gets upset that younger sibling doesn't have to do jobs. Like clean their room or clean the playroom.

↑ giftedmom

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 9:11 am

amother OP wrote:

So I also feel that way, but then the older sibling gets upset that younger sibling doesn't have to do jobs. Like clean their room or clean the playroom.

Life isn’t fair. The kid is younger.
If you really do want them to clean up though I also find it helpful to say “pick up x amount of items from the floor”. Somehow that works better than “clean the playroom”.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 9:15 am

giftedmom wrote:

Thank you. I usually divide the room into piles to clean, but younger sibling still has a hard time cleaning up at all. Its so difficult.

Chayalle

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 9:16 am

I have a child with ADD. I want to say to you OP that certain aspects of executive functioning kick in at a certain age for kids - and with ADHD I suspect it's much more noticeable because of the difference between before and after.

BEH in the future your child will develop skills when these abilities kick in. Right now it's probably unrealistic to expect that.

Chanoch L'Naar Al Pi Darko. I would recommend boosting your oldest with treats and privileges here and there because he/she is the oldest and has more responsibilities than younger siblings. Mention how much you appreciate how responsible he/she is, that he/she does more than younger sibling.....Needless to say, keep these treats and rewards between the two of you as much as possible to prevent jealousy....

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 9:22 am

Chayalle wrote:

Thank you. I will focus more on boosting the older child.