Blood work and vaccines for a frightened 4 year old

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 9:04 pm

My dd has a well visit scheduled next week where she'll probably get some shots and have blood work. I really worried for her she would take it easy and should't get traumatized for life.

I remember myself as a 4 year old by the doctor and I still feel sorry for my 4 year old self. As soon as I saw what the doctor is about to do I ran out of the room and started running away to find a hiding spot. I hid in the corner of another room and sat there curled up without breathing. Till they got me... My mother together with the nurses basically explained to me that I have to do it, that I have no choice, that I wouldn't be able to continue school if I don't get those shots... Whatever long story but in the end I had blood work done and got some shots. But I still remember those feelings till today- maybe it's called trauma.

So how can I get my daughter to have a better experience that me???

amother

Rose

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 9:14 pm

Tell her I’m advance don’t surprise her. Maybe do a mock appointment in the house with you as the doctor. Teach her how to breathe through it just like a woman giving birth TMI

Also maybe split the appointment into a few appointments. Do one shot this time. Next time either another shot or blood work. Don’t do all at once it’ll be too much to handle.

amother

IndianRed

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 9:18 pm

OP your child will take cues from you. If you are coming in burdened with your own trauma and worries about how your kiddo will experience it, then you are setting the stage for something sad - a cycle of trauma that passes through the generations.

Work on staying calm yourself, reducing your own anxiety. If you are in a calm state, then your little one will take cues from you.

amother

Oak

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 9:19 pm

For a 4 year old? I'd get some "I go to the doctor" type books out of the library. Talk about what happens at a checkup.

But also, don't transfer your anxiety to her. I like to act very matter of fact and like yeah it's no big deal when my kids get shots. (Inside I am freaking out, I'm terrified of needles)

And you can discuss with your daughter. A shot hurts a tiny bit and then it's over and it doesn't hurt anymore. You can count to 3 and it's over!

My drs office has ipads with videos to distract the kids. Or just use your smartphone if you have one.

amother

Clear ↓

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 9:51 pm

Ask the dr if he can give you a numbing cream to use before the appointment.
Let her know that you'll be taking her for ice cream after.

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 10:03 pm

Thank you all for your help! I know to watch out not to show her my trauma but I think she'll sense it, I'll try my best. Talking to her before is great idea and I'll try to get some books. I'll try putting her on some videos at that time. Ice cream is a great way of sugaring off the fear that's left!
Thank you!

bsy

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 10:29 pm

I took my kids out for ice cream after their well visit. They don't love the shots and blood tests but the anticipation is worse than the actual visit.

giftedmom

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 10:33 pm

Kids definitely take their cues from you. My kids are anxious and afraid and I validate that, but at the same time I am matter of fact about it. Bh they never put on the kinds of scenes I see other kids doing.
Last time ds had to have bloodwork done he was anxious and his stomach hurt. I told him it’s okay and that as soon as it’s over he will feel so good.
When we walked out he was like “you’re right my stomach doesn’t hurt anymore”. That’s such a powerful lesson.

Elfrida ↓

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 3:01 am

amother Catmint wrote:

Can she have a lollipop in her mouth DURING the shot?

No. If a child (or adult) has anything in their mouth during a blood test and they take a sharp breath in order to cry, the item becomes a choking hazard. In the rare situation that they faint afterwards, it is even more of a risk.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:03 am

One of my children and one of my grandchildren needed a series of both of these at a very young age. We bought a doctors kit and practiced on a teddy bear. Let your child be the doctor. She can hold your hand during the test and maybe you can even read a little story book. A skilled doctor or nurse will do these tests quickly. I agree that ice cream is a nice idea or maybe a trip to pick out a little present at the store.

amother

Beige

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 7:18 am

amother Dill wrote:

Just domt give her those shots. Poor babies poor kids.

Right, poor kids if you let a 4 year old make their decisions about what is best for them.

amother

↑ Clear

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 12:56 pm

Elfrida wrote:

You can prevent this by simply holding firmly to the stick as the child sucks. I do this all the time.

↑ Elfrida

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 1:00 pm

amother Clear wrote:

You can prevent this by simply holding firmly to the stick as the child sucks. I do this all the time.

I don't allow people to be eating anything when I'm doing a blood test. If anything happened, it would be my fault.

amother

DarkOrange

Thu, Jun 20 2024, 9:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

As soon as I saw what the doctor is about to do I ran out of the room and started running away to find a hiding spot. I hid in the corner of another room and sat there curled up without breathing. Till they got me...

I did that when I was 13. And needles still give me mild panic attacks. In the past few years, I figured out that it was being triggered by synesthesia so it's been a little better.

But I don't look when my kids are getting bloodwork/shots because I don't want to have a panic attack and I don't want them to inherit that anxiety. I turn my head away.