What would you do if you saw a child take nosh from a store?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> School age children

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amother ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 1:17 am

HI if u would see kids putting nosh in the pockets what would u do would u tell the grocery man or would u just leave it alone?

Tamiri

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 1:21 am

Talk to the kids, then the grocer. Ask ImaonWheels what she would expect.

ShakleeMom

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 8:17 am

First I would tell the grocer. My little one started bringing stuff home, and then I have to go all the way back to return it. If you tell the storeowner… who then tells me, I would so appreciate it. Some little ones have such quick fingers!

greenfire ↓

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 8:55 am

hm ... I would remind the kid that Hashem sees everything ... including the nosh in his pocket ...

SingALong

Thu, Sep 11 2008, 11:53 pm

if it was jewish frum kids 4 sure I would tell them something!!! and make sure they go over to the store owner and let him/her see them put stuff back on the shelves. the owner should also know who he needs to watch.
my DD once tried to sneak something after I had paid and was walking out the door and I made her put it back. now that she's 4 I told her we aren't allowed to open nosh until we pay first or else its stealing.
( should I be ashamed that as a baby I would open a snack pack for her and then have the cashier snack the open package? they never seemed to mind.)

Shirley

Fri, Sep 12 2008, 12:03 am

Depending on the age of the child. Little kids sometimes just don't get that they are doing something wrong. This summer my little one was caught twice 'stealing'. But other than knowing that I don't allow it, he didn't get what he was doing wrong. I was gonna pay for it anyway. As far as he was concerned, it was just like 'stealing' from the nosh cabinet. The concept of purchasing doesn't register.

I suppose he's quite daft Very Happy

On the other hand, older kids should be spoken to, and the grocer too should be made aware of the situation. If you can, contact their parents. I bet they'd want to know!

MOE

Fri, Sep 12 2008, 4:42 pm

I would wait untill the left the store and meet them outside and shake them down for their candy they stole.... LOL

mummiedearest

Fri, Sep 12 2008, 4:44 pm

I don't let my kids open a package until it's paid for. the cashier thinks I'm weird, I buy a snack before serious shopping. she keeps telling me I can pay for it with everything else.

it's weird, but my two year old doesn't open the packages until we pay for them, so I guess it works.

↑ amother

Sat, Sep 13 2008, 1:40 pm

my ds was stealing at a certain point. When I discovered it, I approached the storeowner and paid for it. He told me that many children steal, but I'm the first parent that apologised and paid for it!

freidasima ↓

Sat, Sep 13 2008, 3:44 pm

mummiedearest I'm like you.
From age zilch I taught all the kids that until you pay, it isn't yours.
Now here in EY it is so common for people to eat in the stores. They take a yoghurt and slurp it down before reaching the checkout and then put down the empty container and pay for it! I used to be shocked but no longer.
Then there are parents who open up food to give the kids in the store and pay.
At least these pay.
But what about the open barrels of stuff including nosherai? Yeah I know they take into account that people take and taste and then buy, but it my mind that's stealing. My kids knew the word "gezel" in their carriages! I would point it out and explain the minute they wanted and would say "no", that' stealing.

And the same for eating before paying. To this day it doesn't happen...we were lucky but I do believe that it is all in the chinuch...be vigilant.

shalhevet ↓

Sat, Sep 13 2008, 4:20 pm

If I saw children taking something, I would say something in a way that gives them a way to save face while still returning/ paying for the goods.

Eg, (in a loud voice) 'Oh, don't forget the candies you put in your pocket. It's easy to forget to pay for them when you leave, which is why I always put mine on the counter, just in case I forget.'

And my kids also knew to ask "shelanu?" (is it ours?) when they hardly knew how to speak...

Raisin ↓

Sat, Sep 13 2008, 4:31 pm

freidasima wrote:

I always give my kids things to eat before paying, especially babies/toddlers. to be honest I would not be able to shop otherwise. As long as it's not something that needs to be weighed, like loose apples, it is fine.

One time, my very small son took an apple from the store. I only discovered it when we were well on the way home. the next time I passed the store, I went in and paid them. They thought I was nuts.

mumsy23

Sat, Sep 13 2008, 10:37 pm

I don't see anything wrong with opening something in the store before paying. It keeps dd busy and I ALWAYS pay and nobody seems to mind. My daughter knows that you pay for things before you leave the store. When she gets something (whether it be a toy or food) I always make her personally give it to the cashier and I say "give it to the lady so we can pay for it" and we pay and that's it. I don't think me opening it before I pay sends the wrong message... I mean, I won't mind her doing that as an adult!

↑ greenfire

Sat, Sep 13 2008, 10:48 pm

what about when you sit down in a restaurant and eat before paying ... it's done all the time in pizza shops ...

goodheart

Sat, Sep 13 2008, 11:50 pm

All the grocery here has the nosh right on the bottom where
kids can get a hold of it no problem.they should switch places\
some kids r just so innocent.
I once went to my local grocery with my kids I put my ds down for a sec.
he already ran to the nosh so as a joke I told the owner that he should
change the place he answered me in such a nasty way that u should watch ur kids
I was holding my baby the hole time .

↑ freidasima

Sun, Sep 14 2008, 2:44 am

Green, restaurants are one things, pizza shops are another.
I never ate before paying in the pizza place.
In a restaurant when you are sitting down in a closed place it is accepted that you eat and then pay, because you may order more after so you can't pay each time. But that is a socially accepted thing...

↑ shalhevet ↓

Sun, Sep 14 2008, 2:47 am

mumsy23 wrote:

It is assur halachically because you are stealing the storeowner's property (even though you intend to pay for it later), because it doesn't belong to you yet.

Of course you can ask permission (I have done this sometimes) to eat/ drink now and pay later.

mumoo

Sun, Sep 14 2008, 4:02 am

I know halachically it usser, but now I'm thinking about what Green said about restaurants. Really, how are they different?

Isramom8

Sun, Sep 14 2008, 7:08 am

If the food or drink is in a closed package, why would eating in a supermarket and paying later be ossur? You pay for the package whether or not its contents are still inside, just like all the other packages you "take" first and then pay for at checkout.

↑ Raisin ↓

Sun, Sep 14 2008, 7:13 am

I'm just imagining how they would look at me in the supermarket if I would ask permission for my kids to eat or drink something before I pay for it. Not to mention I would have to line up for a few minutes to even speak to someone.

Of course, in a small store it is easier to do that.

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