Would you wake them?

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 8:50 pm

Curious what other people would do.

Our guests for Yom tov have a few rambunctious children KaH but their youngest is extremely mischievous and impulsive. He is one of those kids that need to be watched every second, the problem is his parents were not doing that.
I wanted to sleep in the morning but the kids were yelling so I went to see what was happening and it was mess everywhere. I mean my spices spilled out all over the floor, a bottle of orange spilled everywhere, marker written on walls and the Fridge, you get the picture. The older kids were annoyed because the toddler was wrecking havoc and I realized I needed to be down there to supervise. That's how I spent my Yom tov morning.

I wasn't sure if I should wake the parents up or not. What would you have done?

amother

Hunter ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 8:51 pm

I would but I’d feel bad.
I would knock on the door saying how you need their help because _______ made a bug mess.

amother

Dahlia

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 8:51 pm

That is very extreme behavior. I would send someone to wake the parents! I wouldn't want my child doing that to someone else's house, and me sleeping through it.

kenz ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 8:51 pm

Definitely should have woken up the parents. It is not ok for them to appoint you babysitter without discussing it with you first.

shev

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 8:53 pm

I think I wouldve told one of the older children to wake theyre parents. But not sure probably depends on the dynamic if the guests would get annoyed. But I think most parents would want to be woken up if theyre children were behaving that badly. And if they are the type that dont care how the children behave and my house gets destroyed... I dont think I would invite them again

amother

Hyacinth

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 8:54 pm

If you're willing to watch them happily go for it.

I don't think it's fair to not wake them and then be resentful that they didn't watch the kid.

amother

Peru ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 8:59 pm

Yes wake them! They should know their kid needs supervision. It’s a chutzpah to put that burden on you and to not care that he is likely trashing your house.

amother

↑ Peru ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:00 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

I would but I’d feel bad.
I would knock on the door saying how you need their help because _______ made a bug mess.

You’d feel bad telling them to take care of their own child? Unless they hired you to babysit why would you feel bad??

amother

↑ Hunter ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:02 pm

amother Peru wrote:

You’d feel bad telling them to take care of their own child? Unless they hired you to babysit why would you feel bad??

No id feel bad walking them up. (Obviously if it skate in the morning it’s a different story)

amother

↑ Peru ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:04 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

No id feel bad walking them up. (Obviously if it skate in the morning it’s a different story)

Not following. Why would you feel bad waking them to care for their child? I don’t understand that feeling in this context. You aren’t doing anything to them. They should have automatically gotten up to take care of their child.

amother

Lightgray

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:04 pm

My toddler is also the kind that needs to be watched.
I once was a guest and the host set up the crib for him in the room next to ours which would give us more space for ourself and the baby. Which was fine except that the toddler climbed out of the crib and checked himself into the playroom and was playing all nicely while the we slept on totally unaware. When I woke up about a half hour later, host tells me how well behaved toddler is but we can’t allow him to be up unsupervised while we sleep.I could tell she was annoyed but it was totally a mistake . I don’t know what happened here but maybe there’s room for dan lkaf zchus. Bottom mind if you are resentful then you should bf waking them up

amother

↑ Peru ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:06 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

I’d assume they didn’t hear and go knock on their door to let them known their kid was up.

amother

↑ Hunter ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:07 pm

amother Peru wrote:

What if they had a hard time falling asleep or kept waking up. Or if they have a baby who gets up every two hours.

amother

↑ Peru ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:10 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

What if they had a hard time falling asleep or kept waking up. Or if they have a baby who gets up every two hours.

And? Their child is wrecking the house they are responsible for him.

B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:11 pm

shev wrote:

Cant ask their older kids (issur of Kibbud Horim to wake them).
You have to do it yourself.
I would gently knock until they wake up, explain the situation (humorously if I can) then help them clean up.
I agree with the bolded...

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:14 pm

I did send an older sibling to tell their parents that x was up and making messes but the parents didn't get up.
I suspected the mother is pregnant so I felt bad to go again after the child did.
I was just wondering what you would do.
When the parents did surface I did tell them what was going on for the past hour+. They sort of giggled and said yup sounds like him and told me some of their most recent stories with him.
The next morning I made my husband wake up early and figure it out because it's his best friend.
It was not an easy Yom tov to say the least.

amother

↑ Peru ↓

Thu, Jun 13 2024, 9:15 pm

amother OP wrote:

Don’t invite them again. They obviously expect you to give up sleep and babysit him.