More mature than peers

amother

OP ↓

Sun, Jun 09 2024, 8:23 pm

My 4 year old appears to be above her peers socially and academically. She gets along with the 5 year olds better and her play skills match theirs. When she plays with her age peers they want to do things that she grew out of already and she doesn’t complain but she seems a little bored. If you had this situation was it a problem in school? Or did it work out ok? Do I need to think about skipping her? She is one of the oldest in her grade.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 10:32 am

amother Latte wrote:

What do her teachers say

She’s in a class divided by age so all the kids are very close in age and it’s a more mature class so it’s not an issue yet. But next year is a different type of environment in real school.

amother

Poppy

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 10:49 am

I think this age is an inbetween age, where some have matured quicker and some less so. Give it a little longer and the other peers will have caught up to her.
I have a dd who's a year older than your dd, and last year I was thinking she's quite immature compared to some of the other girls in her class. Now, she's the same as them. Some children just take a little longer.
I wouldn't worry.

amother

Moonstone ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 10:59 am

I think the teachers would have contacted youif they felt she was so much more mature than her peers and should be a grade above.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:21 am

amother Moonstone wrote:

I think the teachers would have contacted youif they felt she was so much more mature than her peers and should be a grade above.

Why would they care? It doesn’t have anything to do with them. I have a lot of kids some above and some behind. I only got calls about the behind ones. I only found out my kid was finishing her work ahead of the class and sitting bored for a while, accidentally. So I don’t want to find out after the fact again and I’m trying to learn from my mistakes.

amother

↑ Watermelon ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:22 am

amother OP wrote:

So ask them

amother

↑ Moonstone

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:22 am

Perhaps consider speaking to the teacher then. And maybe a preschool director or the teacher for next year. They deal with kids this age all day they’d probably have insight.

amother

Bottlebrush

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:44 am

I would only advise speaking to the teacher if your kid is one of the oldest and a borderline month usually Sept-Deceember. Sometimes they skip a kid in elementary school, 2nd and 4th grade are the skipping grades. Your daughters teacher didnt reach out to you, assume your kids very bright and social within the norm. She doesn't stick out. It's not enough to skip her because alot is taken in consideration for example her height, how she handles stress, her thinking. She could have classmates that are late bloomers and have less exposure to education than your daughter it sometimes evens out in the older grades.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:57 am

amother Bottlebrush wrote:

I would only advise speaking to the teacher if your kid is one of the oldest and a borderline month usually Sept-Deceember. Sometimes they skip a kid in elementary school, 2nd and 4th grade are the skipping grades. Your daughter’s teacher didnt reach out to you, assume your kids very bright and social within the norm. She doesn't stick out. It's not enough to skip her because alot is taken in consideration for example her height, how she handles stress, her thinking. She could have classmates that are late bloomers and have less exposure to education than your daughter it sometimes evens out in the older grades.

She’s also very tall and I’m constantly getting surprised reactions when I say her age. Based on all the factors everyone assumes she’s 5. And as it’s happening more often I started thinking.

amother

Phlox

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 11:59 am

amother OP wrote:

Pls pls don’t skip her. You are her mother and it’s your responsibility to safeguard her childhood. She will never have it again. Being mature isn’t a good thing when we are talking about little kids. It’s healthy for them to be childish. Let her be around kids who bring out her playful side. It’s so much healthy for her. She had the rest of her life to be mature.

amother

Lightyellow

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

Don't confuse relative maturity with academic ability. She needs both to skip a grade with any degree of success.

If a child is struggling, it makes sense to keep them back to give them another chance. If they seem to be ahead of their peers, let them move to school with their peers, and see how they cope in the new environment. Then see what adjustments might help.

amother

↑ Watermelon ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

She’s also very tall and I’m constantly getting surprised reactions when I say her age. Based on all the factors everyone assumes she’s 5. And as it’s happening more often I started thinking.

So what? You dont skip because you look and act older. You need to be academically and emotionally able to keep up with the older grade.
Id rather have my kid ahead than behind.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:10 pm

I started off with the academic and emotional maturity. She was always just considered smart her teachers always mentioned that. Now I’m adding in a fuller picture that she is taller and ahead physically as well. It’s everything combined that makes me question what grade she belongs in. I’m seeing the gap widen not close over the last few months.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 10 2024, 12:12 pm

amother Phlox wrote:

I used to think that. But I have another kid who is similar and already a teen and I really regret listening to this advice. She really didn’t reach her full potential and was bored too often. I don’t see that she gained not being pushed up to her level. That’s playing a huge factor here.