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-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
amother
OP
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Wed, Jun 05 2024, 8:27 am
Let me preface by saying this, I have 2 children, 11 and 9 yo with adhd.
11 yo is going on a school trip. When 9 yo went, on the way home from the trip, she realized that she forgot to save a goody with her sister and she only had her cold coffee left. They both like it. But it is 9 yos absolute favorite. And 9 yo left it for her with a full heart. She totally could have asked me to give 11 yo a piece of chocolate ans pretend she left it for her. But no she left that for her sister. (They really don't must share. But I encourage them too. And they feel good sharing. Like I'll remind a kid, to please leave something for her sister. For example Leave a square from an entire bar of chocolate. It's not a lot but will forster good feelings between each other.)
This morning 11 yo is going on a trip. And had a pk of 6 candy thingys. 9 yo saw her packing it in and wanted the blue very much but 11 yo only wanted to give her the yellow. 9 yo was crying and tandruming. Then saying that she (9yo) gave her her BEST one her cold coffee.
But 11 yo said it wasn't MY best thing. I saw 9 yo was very saf.
I pulled 11 yo aside and explained to her that her sister feels like she doesn't care. That even though 9 yo forgot to leave something for her until the drink, she didn't just drink it. Together with a piece of her heart she gave you her best (that she saved for last) cold coffee. It's true. 9 yo is like that. She's got a huge heart. (Both do actually. Bh)
11 yo walked over to her. And told her that she will give her the yellow candy now and will make sure to save her some of her chocolate. Or another candy or something for when she comes home.
9 yo opened her arms AND HUGGED 11 yo. I'm still in shock.
I don't remember when these 2 hugged each other last.
Both having adhd and impulsivity being a challange (aka FIGHTING!)
11 yo also started puberty and can be a teenaged monster lately.
But they HUGGED. Like they really HUGGED!!!
After a food few seconds I wrapped my arms around them both. I didn't want them to see me tear up.
It was amazing that 11 yo was able to see 9 yos distress ans 9 yo was able to express her feelings. And that 11 yo was able to be gracious enough to be kind to her sister. They both have a huge sweet tooth especially 11 yo. So that's next level.
Hashem, please let this be the start of many more miracles like that!
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amother
Fern
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Wed, Jun 05 2024, 8:32 am
wow! this is amazing! and this gives me so much hope for my own kids
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amother
Lemonlime
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Wed, Jun 05 2024, 9:19 am
Wow!! That's really special!!
Loads of nachas!!
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amother
Yellow
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Wed, Jun 05 2024, 11:32 am
Wow, amazing!!!
As a mother of a few very challenging children with adhd among other diagnoses, I also have these occasional moments, albeit very rare, but moments that surprise me and give me a lot of chizzuk.
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