I need inspiration

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Jun 03 2024, 9:25 pm

I live an unhealthy and sedentary lifestyle with a very full time job at a desk all day that requires me to really use my brain.
I come home mentally annd physically exhausted, and find myself often collapsed on the couch on my (smart)phone ignoring my kids. Scrolling through Instagram. YouTube. Texting. Real nonsense. I usually get a burst energy in the evenings, and even though I go through the motions of taking care of my kids , errands , dinner , showers etc , I’m totally unfocused. I know it’s because my brain is fried from technology- being on a computer all day, and all the wasteful time I spend scrolling at night where ultimately I lay in bed on my phone for hours.
I want to start leaving my phone in the kitchen to charge at night so I can get more sleep, be more focused, not just at work, but in my relationships. Perhaps as a next step- would be to also shut off my internet and social media when I get home from work and focus on my kids without the distraction of my phone until my kids go to sleep.
I’ve had plans to do this for years but never actually did it, I really felt like I couldn’t.
I need inspiration to start.
Would love to hear from people who were like me , made the change , and found that their lives and relationships improved.
I cry when I think about all the time wasted over the years, but I want to change and do better.
My husband is similar to me and I hope that if I make the change , he would consider also.
Would love to hear from others how they made the decision to jump in, what they did to keep it going, and the positive changes that came as a result.
Thank you in advance for responses
Signed, a woman who is scrolling on imamother knowing I need to get up in 6.5 hours to get my kids to school and work an 8.5 hour day - and my brain is telling me to go to sleep but I just can’t seem to get off the phone!

amother

Violet ↓

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 6:23 am

Delete Instagram for 1 month. Tell yourself no Instagram but you’ll see if you miss it in a month.
Turn off WhatsApp notifications and tell important people if the need to reach you to text. Go on WhatsApp once a day for a limited time to catch up.
Imamother I think for now you can keep. You can’t spend hours on here anyway. Eventually you might come to a place where you won’t want to come here.
When you go to bed make yourself a routine. What works for me is drinking a tea while reading from a book, shower, nighttime skincare… from when you start your routine until when you wake up the next morning leave your phone somewhere out of your reach that kids can’t get to.
Wake up from an alarm clock.
In the morning you should also have a routine including making bed.

I have so many more ideas but this is a good start.

amother

↑ Violet

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 6:28 am

Another important thing is to make sure to spend real time with real friends. Not family and not work.
It seems like you’re energy is being put into work and family and you are lacking the social- so you are going to social media but it doesn’t fill the void.
At least once a week you should schedule in to spend time socializing with real people.
Go walking, pick up ice cream, a Sunday morning coffee…
It’ll enhance your life and make you need the apps less.

amother

Clover

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 9:45 am

It sounds like your brain is asking for a break. Can you set a timer for 15 minutes /, or 5 minutes, after work while you're in your car, lean back in your seat, and close your eyes? I usually listen to a relaxing hypnosis track while I do this .

Can you take a walk during lunch to clear your head?

I also use Norton Family to lock my phone at bedtime and during kid routine hours. During those times, my phone becomes a talk-only.

amother

Peru

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 7:30 pm

I started by removing some apps from my phone. All games and youtube. I can still go on youtube via google, but it halps me to limit the scrolling there.

My phone tells me what 3 apps I spend the most time on per week. When I saw how many hours I was wasting on stupid games (I'm very competetive) and watching dumb videos, it was the insentive to delete them immediately. I never had IG or FB, so those BH were never a problem for me.

I now compete with myself in how many hours or minutes less I can use my phone each week.

amother

Lightpink

Tue, Jun 04 2024, 7:45 pm

This is a lifelong struggle for me. Some months/years are better, some are worse. I hope one day I truly get there! But till then I just try and tell myself life is about the battle and the effort you put in. I’ve tried things like not having any social media accounts (yes including imamother at one point, obviously now I have it back), deleting YouTube and games from my phone, time limits on my phone…right now my limits are time constraints, I’m only allowed to be on my phone between 9 and 12. Before that I’m with my kids and after that I’m sleeping. I know it’s still a large amount of time but I found giving myself too many restrictions just made me desperate to use every minute of “allowed” time. Or it made me give up and say no way can I do this. Let me know if you figure something out!