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-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Tue, May 21 2024, 4:19 pm
Wow thank you to everyone who responded. It’s so helpful to hear all the different experiences and perspectives.
It’s hard to reply to each comment individually, but I really appreciated each one.
My 2 kids are little. Ages 4 and 2 so of course things can change and they can become easier or harder…
As babies and toddlers they were/are very challenging. Things can change, as I understand.
I’m still praying for the next to be a breeze!
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amother
Nectarine
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:19 pm
Its all relative. I had 3 really hard kids in a row and my 4th was so easy compared to them.
If he had been my first I would’ve thought he was a hard kid.
You only recognize an easier kid if you’ve had hard ones first.
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:21 pm
I agree in general. However, being well fed doesn’t change a child’s personality.
If a child is extremely stubborn, then being well fed won’t change that trait. But begging hungry will for sure make it worse.
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amother
Blushpink
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:23 pm
From what I hear from my brother his kid seems easy (not jsut basing on what I see).
Mild personality, eats and sleeps nicely and on schedule.
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cupcake123
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:27 pm
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I totally think some kids are " easier "
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:27 pm
Easy in some ways.
My oldest is brilliant, sweet, and easygoing. Good sleeper as a baby. Hardly anything bothers him. On the other hand, he has a TON of energy he needs to get out which was really hard as a toddler/young kid. His high intelligence also led him to get into everything as a kid. Could not leave him alone for a second between the ages 1 and 5.
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amother
NeonPink
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:33 pm
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Op what are your and your husbands personality like if neither of you are chilled and easy-going It’s unlikely that any of your kids will be. I find the more chilled I am myself the more I work on myself the more chilled my kids are the combination of nature nurture. My husband by nature is super easygoing my daughter was born that way.
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amother
Winterberry
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:36 pm
Some kids are easier in the beginning but you don't know how they will be when they grow up.
Some of the hardest children give their parents the most nachas years later.
We need to do ours and invest our kochos and effort into our children, like plants, they need to be tended to and watered and monitored. We are doing this for Hashem, not for our own nachas machines..
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:39 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Wow thank you to everyone who responded. It’s so helpful to hear all the different experiences and perspectives.
It’s hard to reply to each comment individually, but I really appreciated each one.
My 2 kids are little. Ages 4 and 2 so of course things can change and they can become easier or harder…
As babies and toddlers they were/are very challenging. Things can change, as I understand.
I’m still praying for the next to be a breeze! |
I heard from a few people that their 3rd child is just the sweetest thing ever and BH BH I think its true! BH she never gave me a kvetchy hour
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amother
PlumPink
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:45 pm
I would say my kids are easy, especially compared to other kids I see. They eat well, don’t tantrum a lot, barely fight, clean up after themselves, behave nicely when we’re out and about…
BUT
They are nightmarish sleepers. My 3 year has slept through the night only a handful of times in her life. My oldest as a baby had a 4 am to 4pm schedule that I’m still traumatized from… I don’t have a nursing baby now but I’m woken up every night by the big kids coming to my bed… when they are little my entire day revolved around naps….
Every kid had their things, it’s never easy to raise a child!
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sunshine23
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Tue, May 21 2024, 4:59 pm
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I think this all depends on the mom. A more chilled relaxed mom will say that her kids are easy bc to her, certain behaviors are no big deal. A more uptight mom trying to run the house tip top shape and perfect looking always will be stressed out no matter how easy her kids are.
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:09 pm
| sunshine23 wrote: | | I think this all depends on the mom. A more chilled relaxed mom will say that her kids are easy bc to her, certain behaviors are no big deal. A more uptight mom trying to run the house tip top shape and perfect looking always will be stressed out no matter how easy her kids are. |
I think this is true but not only because of looking perfect. Because of how they act too-some mothers don’t get thrown by 2 years old throwing a tantrum in public or an 8 year old climbing up a tree. Also, some mothers are naturally more “glass half full” type
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amother
Cyclamen
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:50 pm
| amother OP wrote: | Wow thank you to everyone who responded. It’s so helpful to hear all the different experiences and perspectives.
It’s hard to reply to each comment individually, but I really appreciated each one.
My 2 kids are little. Ages 4 and 2 so of course things can change and they can become easier or harder…
As babies and toddlers they were/are very challenging. Things can change, as I understand.
I’m still praying for the next to be a breeze! |
I have an extremely easy kid, B"H. He's 14 now and is always trying to do the right thing, setting long-term goals for himself and meeting them, isn't afraid of hard work and BH succeeds. He's a sweet kid, other boys flock to him and want to be his friend, he's accepting of everyone and always trying to find ways to make other people happy, knows how to set proper boundaries for himself...
When he was 2-4 he was THE HARDEST KID I'VE EVER HAD. He would throw massive violent tantrums, drew blood from dh and me on a consistent basis, couldn't get along with his siblings. He was triggered by things that made no sense to me, like we'd be happily playing outside and all of the sudden he'd explode, and I'd be frantically trying to protect my other kids, but he'd refuse to go inside for hours and would kick and scratch and bite anyone who went near him. (Yes, we tried treating him for PANDAS. No, it didn't work.)
He's now an amazing human being and a wonderful person. And honestly, once he got over that phase he was already a little version of who he is today. He inspires me to try to grow and become a better person. Those couple of years were AWFUL. Toddlerhood is hard for most kids, but you never know who they'll come out the other side as...
I give you a bracha that your little ones should grow up to be as amazing as he is.
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amother
NeonOrange
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:58 pm
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OP, one of my kids was so difficult, tantrumming every day, the school complained about his behavior all the time, and was so difficult that made me cry sometimes. Grew up and nowadays gives me only nachas, very serious about learning, quiet and polite, I would never have imagined this outcome. Hang in there, sometimes the hard ones are the ones that turn to be the easiest ones when they grow up
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amother
Seafoam
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Tue, May 21 2024, 6:50 pm
All our kids were easy in that they slept and ate well from young ages. Behaviorally, our oldest two are a breeze (poopoopoo, they’re still teenagers and we know things can change and continue to daven). Never give us grief, always learning, reading, or asking us how they can help. People told such harrowing tales of the teenage years, and I have only had pleasant experiences so far. The next one in line, though, is very challenging, and maybe he’ll mature in another few years but if nowadays is anything to go by, we’re in for a wild ride.
To answer your question, they come in a huge variety and I try to appreciate each one for their unique qualities. I don’t know if it’s better to have the easier ones first and then be in for a shock or have the harder ones first and then be pleasantly surprised. HaShem is making them harder as I age, for some reason! 😄
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amother
cornflower
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:43 pm
| amother Clematis wrote: | | My third child was and is an angel even now when he is all grown up and father himself. My second child was extremely difficult she cried for a year straight and I could not put her down. I had to hire teenagers to come in the afternoon to hold her so I could cook supper and take care of things. She had tantrums all through pre-school. I will admit that in my head I thought of her as the b-tch baby from hell. I will not go into details but it was a nightmare.(BH slowly but surely her behavior improved over the years and I have nothing but nachas from her so there is hope). So when I was pregnant with my third I davened davened davened every day please H-shem make him be a good baby, a good boy etc. He was such an angel I didn't know how to take care of him! I had no experience with a child who could sit in his infant seat for more than 2 minutes! Who talked to himself happily in his crib until I came to get him! Who fell asleep when put down and did not have to be walked and rocked to somnolence. He has a heart of gold and is beloved by all. He always has a smile on his face and a kind word for everyone. Neither my husband or I or any of my other children for that matter resemble his gutteh neshamah although we all try our best. He was just born this way. Thank you HKBH for answering the tefillos of a desperate almost insane mom! |
Are you my mother? I would be the middle child  Sounds exactly like my family except for the gender of the youngest...
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amother
Peru
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Tue, May 21 2024, 8:10 pm
I had three easy babies and secretly patted myself on the back for my awesome parenting.
Then the 4th was born. Ha, my illusions were dashed.
Now as teenagers, they are all easy going in some ways and high strung in some ways. I think it's more about inborn personality than anything.
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effess
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Tue, May 21 2024, 8:24 pm
My hardest baby is now my easiest chilled, relaxed personality teen.
My easiest baby on the other hand is driving me bananas
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amother
Calendula
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Tue, May 21 2024, 8:36 pm
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I have one easy child, and one married child who was easy…and 7 super difficult kids. They do exist. If all my kids were like them, my life would have been so different until now. What a fantasy!
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