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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
rrlavona
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Tue, May 21 2024, 5:17 am
Hello fellow mothers,
I am, iyH, getting remarried BH, and my mum and I are offering the chosson a megilas Esther case and klaff. We have found some beautiful cases, but now we realise that different minhagim have different klaff requirements and I need your help as we can't ask the chosson and his parents are not hassidic as we are and he became 20 years ago (comes from mixed Ashkenaz and Sefardi family, but he himself became hassidic a couple of decades ago). My father is no longer with us, so I can't even ask him. I've got noone to ask, and can ask the rebbetzin, but only in two weeks and wanted to start getting things done now seeing as the wedding is iyh on 18 Sivan.
So the question is this:
Is there a size of klaff that is a minimum for Breslev hassidic megillas? Is 6inch too small?
Thank you for your advice!
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amother
Ballota
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:09 am
Mazal tov on the upcoming wedding! I am not Breslov and don't know their particular halachic opinions, but thinking about DH's Megillah klaf, 6 inches is really small and I imagine would be quite difficult to read. It's a major purchase so I'd suggest getting something a bit larger and more practical.
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rrlavona
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:20 am
amother Ballota wrote: | Mazal tov on the upcoming wedding! I am not Breslov and don't know their particular halachic opinions, but thinking about DH's Megillah klaf, 6 inches is really small and I imagine would be quite difficult to read. It's a major purchase so I'd suggest getting something a bit larger and more practical. |
This is already so helpful, thank you!
We will stop looking at the 6inch cases at any rate. I think the next option is 13 inch, so this is already double the size BH.
Thank you
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amother
Blushpink
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:22 am
How about going together to choose.
I'm saving up to get one for my DH, and then will ask him to choose.
There are so many different types, different sizes etc etc and I want him to love his.
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:22 am
OOC, why can’t you ask him? If it’s such a big purchase, wouldn’t you want him involved regardless?
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rrlavona
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Tue, May 21 2024, 7:24 am
We really want it to be a surprise. The shidduch was redt during the Purim mishtei, and we really really want it as a surprise. Otherwise I would have ABSOLUTELY done that and asked!
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Iymnok
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Tue, May 21 2024, 8:02 am
Go sit with a sofer and ask about all the options. He would know who prefers what.
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amother
Bellflower
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Tue, May 21 2024, 8:13 am
Agree with lymnok. A sofer will know.
Having said that, there are often questions here about buying a personal gift and the gifter doesn’t want to let the recipient choose because it has to be a surprise. You have to weigh the surprise aspect against the possibility you might not buy what the person wants to get. There are two parts to this gift that make me think you’re best off forgetting about the surprise part. One is that its an expensive item. The other is that this is meant to last a lifetime and then will be passed on for who knows how many more lifetimes in your family.
Making it a surprise will add to your enjoyment but letting him choose will add to his.
Visit a reputable sofer or two. Have them explain the ins and outs. Narrow it down to two or three in your price range and take your future husband along to make the final purchase. If it has to be a surprise, tell him to free up an evening for a surprise date and don’t tell him where you plan to take him.
I’ve bought a megilla for dh so one more thing I’d add is, you know your chosson but I think better spend extra on the megilla itself and don’t worry as much about the case.
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amother
Snowdrop
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Tue, May 21 2024, 8:13 am
I’m not Breslov, but Dh’s is 13 inches. Really beautiful.
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amother
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Tue, May 21 2024, 9:01 am
rrlavona wrote: | We really want it to be a surprise. The shidduch was redt during the Purim mishtei, and we really really want it as a surprise. Otherwise I would have ABSOLUTELY done that and asked! |
I understand but wouldn’t you want it to be something he really loves? Wouldn’t it make sense for him to pick it out?
If he was going to buy you a nice piece of jewelry, wouldn’t you rather go to the store to pick it out together so it’s something you love? Especially if you may not know each others tastes yet
As a newlywed I surprised DH with a gorgeous Seder plate which I had saved up for specifically. Turns out he hated it. It was just not his taste at all, we ended up giving it away. I was so disappointed and could have saved all the trouble by just involving him in it to begin with
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amother
Electricblue
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Tue, May 21 2024, 11:13 am
You can let DH pick and still make it a surprise!
Take him on a trip to an undisclosed location. Surprise! End up at the sofer, and have the sofer show him Megillahs in your price range (arrange in advance) and DH gets to choose one. Then have a second surprise - go to the silver store (also pre-arranged) and DH chooses a case in your price range.
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rrlavona
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Tue, May 21 2024, 1:37 pm
amother Honey wrote: | I understand but wouldn’t you want it to be something he really loves? Wouldn’t it make sense for him to pick it out?
If he was going to buy you a nice piece of jewelry, wouldn’t you rather go to the store to pick it out together so it’s something you love? Especially if you may not know each others tastes yet
As a newlywed I surprised DH with a gorgeous Seder plate which I had saved up for specifically. Turns out he hated it. It was just not his taste at all, we ended up giving it away. I was so disappointed and could have saved all the trouble by just involving him in it to begin with |
I was also going to give a Seder plate, and got so worried about this that I have given up and am giving an Eliyahu haNavi cup with Hashem's help.
This is so good to have confirmation of all my concerns!
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