Drinks | Imamother

amother

↑ Gardenia ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 4:53 am

amother OP wrote:

On another note, do you let your kids have as much challah as they want by Shabbos meals? I find if we let them fill up on challah they won't eat anything else. Yet they complain, even if I tell them they can have more after the main course.
Trying to figure out if I am also crazy in this scenario?
(My kids are very picky bad eaters in general. )

So we have one piece of challah until you eat some protein policy. But by the time they are 13 I am not telling them what how to eat. For me its more of a guideline to teach my kids healthy eating (at a much younger age)

amother

NeonPink

Sun, May 12 2024, 4:57 am

keym wrote:

I think a previous poster made a good point about not lumping all your kids together.
Being concerned about a 4 year old spilling is very different than being concerned about a 13 year old spilling.
Not to mention wanting him to have the decision making skills for being in camp, Yeshiva, going to friends.

I remember babysitting for one family who had a number of children close in age. Since they shared a room, the mother decided that they all shared the same bedtime. Until her mother came to stay, and finally convinced her that what had worked when they were five, three and one, did not work for an age range of ten down to two. Yes, it was a lot harder to group them into different bedtimes and have them go to bed without waking younger siblings. But convenience had to give way to the changing needs of the children.

amother

Lightgray

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:05 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes I do.
That doesn’t mean I have endless amounts of challah though.
I bake one challah that’s enough for everyone to have more than one slice ( obviously if there are guests I’ll bake extra)
Lechem mishna is my husband’s spelt challah. That’s it. Eat as much as you want until the challah is gone. Some kids like the challah and dips, some like the mains. I want them to learn how to eat foods that they like without me sitting over them like a hawk.

amother

↑ Eggshell

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:13 am

I have never policed amounts of challah eaten, nor do I limit the amount of challah I make.

(But I'm the picky eater and none of my kids are.)

amother

↑ Daylily ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:40 am

amother Eggshell wrote:

I have never policed amounts of challah eaten, nor do I limit the amount of challah I make.

(But I'm the picky eater and none of my kids are.)

Same. Instead I'll tell my toddler " look, tatty is eating eggs! Yummy! Do you want to eat eggs just like tatty?"

This way we're not restricting the Challah, nor are we forcing protein. We're making protein look cool lol (because his cool tatty eats it)

Now of course this won't work for teens but hopefully by that point he'll l enjoy eating eggs/protein on his own.

amother

↑ Gardenia ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 5:43 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

Eta: why in the world is my post getting hugs. U have something to say, say it

amother

Thistle

Sun, May 12 2024, 6:01 am

I’m still unsure if this thread is real.

Op, what do you do if your child spills a sugary drink? Do you hang them up by their eyelashes? (To use your word: sheesh!)

luckily you won’t have to worry about sticky floors for long, because your kids will grow up and run so far away from your home.

I know someone who has several kids who are stunted emotionally due to severe food control.

amother

Marigold

Sun, May 12 2024, 6:14 am

camp123 wrote:

I don't think you are being crazy, I encourage them to leave space for good, nutritious food. I would say I can do this until they are teenagers.
There is nothing wrong with being the adult and educating and protecting your kids.
Don't let society bully you into destroying your kids health. Educate your kids, be firm and flexible when necessary and one day your kids will realize and you love and care about them.

Or they will go the other extreme and give their own kids a loaf of challah and a bottle of soda each…

amother

↑ Daylily

Sun, May 12 2024, 6:27 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

Eta: why in the world is my post getting hugs. U have something to say, say it

I'm newish here. Don't hugs mean that I loved what you posted? As in, I really agree with you?

amother

↑ Gardenia

Sun, May 12 2024, 6:30 am

amother Daylily wrote:

I'm newish here. Don't hugs mean that I loved what you posted? As in, I really agree with you?

No on imamother thumbs up means agree , on some posts if its really sad it may be genuine everywhere else its used sarcastically like a passive aggressive dislike

amother

↑ Apricot ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 6:36 am

OP, if you don't make rules & restrict food, kids will most likely want it less.
We have as much challah available as the kids want. It was never even a topic brought up. I serve the fish right away & the kids really don't eat much challah.
And by the time the kids are teens, you shouldn't be keeping track of how much challah they're eating.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, May 12 2024, 6:38 am

This concept is so foreign to me.
My kids all take by themselves as soon as they are capable around 5 yrs old.
Do guests have the same rules? If your son comes with a friend do you pour for them both?? I would be mortified as the child!!
(and even as the mom I would be embarrassed that a friend saw how controlling I was.)

Do you really not see why its demeaning to your son to need to ask for a drink? He's 13!
Does this lack of trust spill over to other areas?
If you cant trust him with 6 oz of juice what do you trust him with? Can he walk to yeshiva go out with friends...?

amother

Magenta ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:12 am

OP different things work for different families. I didn't start out my parenting journey planning to micromanage my kids food choices. In fact, I was a big proponent of DOR/Ellyn Satter. Turns out that for various health related reasons if left to their own devices my kids WILL fill up on challah and refuse all proteins. And WILL drink way more juice and soda than is good for them. They are preteens and I absolutely do set limits. I also try to engineer things so there are less reasons for me to interfere, ie, bake small challahs, keep the fridge stocked with spindrift, stock healthy snacks etc. And as they move into the teen years I am conscious that at some point they will have to bear the consequences of their poor choices. But the point is, not all kids are able to regulate their intake, and no, it's not always because parents are too controlling and they're deprived or restricted.

amother

Clematis

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:18 am

Op, you remind me of my DH in a certain way, especially the part about the sticky drinks and cups. Luckily our children are still very young and he's learning that some of his rigidities need to be flexible, because I won't turn our environment awful to appease his mishugasim.

But you know what else I realised? How much joy he loses out on in life because he's so hyperfocused on ridiculous things that he'll get disproportionately angry over the thought of a potential spill. It's probably actually part of a mental illness and while everyone acknowledges how terrible it is for your children - as well they should - you're actually suffering from it too. Sometimes, the way he's almost holding his breath when we could all be having a beautiful time reminds me of someone who is constipated, but refuses to treat their constipation. Just get help. It might be OCPD, it might be something else. But you're withholding a drink from your teenage son not for his health, but because you're anxious at the thought of sticky on the table. That's dysfunctional and you're setting your son up for anxiety instead of giving him space to develop independent skills.

amother

↑ Seagreen

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:27 am

Anyone have dejavu about the snow shoveling thread and giving kids to drink before bed thread?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:34 am

amother Magenta wrote:

Thank you! My kids definitely need limits set, the question is to what extent:)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:44 am

Comptroller wrote:

If you think that your children should eat more of the main course and less challah, maybe serve the main course immediatly and fish and soup afterwards, and then desert.

Or give them some of the main course before the meal.

Maybe they fill up on challah because they are hungry and can't wait until the main course is served.

Nah, I always have the fish out before the meal starts. They just like challah.

↑ Tzutzie

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:45 am

amother OP wrote:

On another note, do you let your kids have as much challah as they want by Shabbos meals? I find if we let them fill up on won't eat anything else. Yet they complain, even if I tell them they can have more after the main course.
Trying to figure out if I am also crazy in this scenario?
(My kids are very picky bad eaters in general. )

It depends on so many things.

I can share what works for my family.
I always feed the kids before zman. Wintertime it's a hearty lunch. And a treat after zman. Summertime a decent supper. And whatever cake/cookies I made fresh for shabbos.
By the time the shabbos meal rolls around noone is starving.
So they eat challah and dips. And usually chicken soup with chickpeas/Limabeams and lukshen and/or croutons and they either go to play or go to bed.
Wintertime we do game nights afterwards. With "oneg shabbos" nosh. We implemented it one year and it's become tradition. I urge everyone to try it. It's the most amazing time ever.
Summertime they usually just drift off to bed or onto the couch or to go bicker a bit cuz why not...
(We do game time shabbos afternoon with whoever is home....)
Morning I serve the meal quickly so fish is served same times as the dips come out. Which is right after I make hamotzi.
Eggs are prepared as soon as dh comes home so that by the time we sit down it's all ready. I serve eggs and chulent at the same time. So there isn't much time to eat more and more challah. If they ask dh cuts another slice, but will say there is warm chulent. Please eat that first while it's still warm. Most of the time they do.
Desert is served once everyone had 1 decent serving of protein. Be that fish eggs chulten or the meat from the chulent. We also encourage kids to take one bite of all shabbos foods. Usually doesn’t happen but we make a big deal of the younger ones doing it so it reminds the older ones without directly mentioning it.
It took years to figure out this schedule. The kids know it's a long afternoon of play and if they don't eat well, they'll be coming home soon after for food and have to fend for themselves because dh and I will be napping.
Noone likes eating alone in my house. It's a social family event. 2 out of 4 of my kids ate terribly poor eaters. But at family meals they miraculously actually like eating....
Also. Even if I'm awake for 2 hours after the meal I do not serve food or go into the kitchen. And I don't allow junk food or packaged snacks then either.
There is fruit, eggs, salad and if your not fleishig, string cheese, American cheese, cream cheese and yogurt. There is peanut butter and challah and rice cake. They can open some tuna. Cereal and milk/almond milk. Whatever. I'm not serving food. They need to clean everything away too.
Kids used to not eat anything other than challah. And I made this rule becuase an hour or so later they were feeling hungry again. Kids HATED it. For weeks they threw massive tantrums. Even the preteens. They were lazy and also didn't want to eat by themselves. Wanted me to serve them and sit with them. I would prep food and feed them and I felt like a shmata and hated shabbos afternoons. So I put a stop to it. They were totally taking advantage. And it wasn't right for me to do it. Besides I wasn't even being a good mother by teaching them that everyone is here at their beck and call all the time.
Eventually they realized I mean business. And they started eating decently at the shabbos meal. Bh for that!
Now I actually enjoy shabbos with my family.

amother

↑ Magenta

Sun, May 12 2024, 7:48 am

amother OP wrote:

Thank you! My kids definitely need limits set, the question is to what extent:)

Right now we're doing 2 slices of challah per kid and they need to eat some kind of protein, they can choose if it's fish, chicken, eggs, chulent etc.

Regarding drinks, if it were up to me I wouldn't keep soda around ever but dh insists. So the kids get 1 cup at the shabbos meal. They don't really ask for more and certainly don't serve it to themselves, somehow miraculously it's gained a this-is-just-for-totty status in our house. I don't buy juice often, but when I do, I ask them to mix it with water. Sometimes I mix it myself in a pitcher and leave it that way in the fridge. I also keep seltzer, which they're generally happy to drink. Spindrift is a really nice option for them. I know my kids sometimes drink straight up juice, if I see them doing it, I ask them to please mix it with water and they usually comply. With my 13 year old, I sometimes pretend I don't see... but I will also make a note not to restock on juice.

amother

Crystal

Sun, May 12 2024, 8:56 am

I don't understand why no one understands why OP wants her kids to drink only water. We only drink water in the house and maybe on Shabbos we'll have iced tea. Granted, my oldest is 8 but she doesn't ask for sugary drinks since that's all we all drink. My husband sometimes drinks gatorade for exercising but if the kids see and want, we'll let them have some. OP isn't depriving her kids of hydration, just sugary drinks...