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-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Sat, May 11 2024, 9:03 pm
| amother Apricot wrote: | The examples you gave, are examples that are age appropriate for their specific age.
An adult drinking snapple while forbidding their teens from drinking snapple, has nothing to do with age appropriate & is just hypocritical and really controlling.
That's really inappropriate of a parent to do. |
I don't agree. The junk in those drinks are not good for growing children it's totally fine to not give kids junky drinks. This is very normal and ok.
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amother
Seafoam
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:06 pm
Is this post a joke?
Why do you keep juice in the fridge if no one is allowed to drink it? Or is it only for you like the Snapple?
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amother
Wheat
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:07 pm
| amother Magnolia wrote: | | I don't agree. The junk in those drinks are not good for growing children it's totally fine to not give kids junky drinks. This is very normal and ok. |
It may be normal to restrict it/moderate it, but it’s not okay at all to tell the kid no while then doing it in front of him. Practice what you preach.
He will grow up resenting her and also form unhealthy habits to the items she’s restricting (spoken as someone with a soda addiction, it’s very tough)
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amother
Calendula
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:11 pm
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Of course your son is right. Kids should be able to drink whenever they want. This is concerning.
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amother
Dimgray
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:13 pm
In my home the kids can have water seltzer milk and orange juice (I buy the kind with calcium and vitamin d) whenever they want. I don’t have apple juice. Grape juice is just for Shabbos. I don’t buy soda. If we have Snapple I open a big bottle on Shabbos but then they can have whenever they want until the bottle is finished.
I never drink a drink in front of them that they’re not allowed to have other than wine.
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amother
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:17 pm
| amother Magnolia wrote: | | I don't agree. The junk in those drinks are not good for growing children it's totally fine to not give kids junky drinks. This is very normal and ok. |
It's the same unhealthy for children & adults.
Eating/drinking anything in front of your children, and refusing to let them have, is horrible middos. Even my little children know that we don't have treats in front of siblings if we don't want to share.
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amother
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:17 pm
While I don't have so much issue with restricting unhealthy drinks, I am curious at what age you allow your children to decide for themselves. He is 13 already, are you going to tell him "no juice" until he is 18? 21?
My policy is over Bar/Bas Mitzvah they are old enough to take drinks without asking.
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amother
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:19 pm
This OP reminds me of something I witnessed this past purim at my grandparents.
A guy was sitting & eating non stop. His child sat down with a piece of fruit, the father promptly took it away, and told the child "no food now, we're having a meal soon" & resumed eating. I was crying inside for the child.
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amother
Amethyst
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:20 pm
If you want everyone drinking only water, then have only water in the house. Your son is 14 for goodness sake, he's not a toddler!
As an aside, if you can't tolerate water, thers many steps between that and Snapple. Not hydrating and full of sugar. Definitely don't be drinking on a daily basis.
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amother
Pumpkin
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:22 pm
Anyone who is old enough to reach the fridge/water cooler is allowed to drink as much as they want without asking.
Anyone who can't reach the drinks will ask and a parent or sibling will give them a drink.
But I don't keep any sugary drinks in the house. DH and I don't like them and my kids haven't acquired a taste for them.
I put fresh fruit in a water pitcher and keep it in the fridge.
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amother
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:24 pm
I honestly thought you meant alcoholic beverages.
Summer is coming. Getting hot out there.... Let the kids drink!
GD forbid they can dehydrate
Don't keep drinks around if they're not allowed to have them.
Get a mini fridge for the sugary beverages and snapples and lock it so no one sees it or knows it's there. Don't have them see it and pine for it
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Tzutzie
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:28 pm
Op thats mean imo. Sorry to put it that way.
We have a water filter that gives decently cool water, or really cold water from the fridge filter. And kids and adults drink from that during the day. At super time we have water and oj or any other juice we currently have like apple cider, pineapple oj, or lemonade (outdoor bbq) sometimes a kid (usually the 9 or 10 yo) will take some randomly. I do remind then to dilute or also drink water afterwards as juice will not quench their thirst for long.
In some of my pregnancies I could only keep 3 drinks down. Just the thought of water passing my lips was enough to make me gag.
We told the kids that I'm not feeling good now and that's to help keep me hydrated.
So whenever kids are sick they as for those drinks. 
We keep a bottle or 2 around for just then. And real ginger ale too for an upset stomach (We call it "nisht git feeladiga soda" - not feeling well soda  )
Shabbos we have grape juice and sparkling or grape juice and "tzip" - club soda.
A teen is old enough to understand that all those drinks aren't good for you on a regular basis. But occasionally he should be able to enjoy some. Juice at suppertime is once a day. Really ok imo.
Maybe you can explain how you have a terrible aversion to water but you want better for him.
Try to avoid drinking your drinks in front of him and once you've had that discussion, it's time to let go.
Restricting it for him while you fill your tummy with it is bad parenting, will cause him to resent you honestly imo is just plain mean.
I'm not trying to be mean to you. You asked for an opinion and that's mine. I don't think you are doing it with malicious intent. WE all want our kids to ingest high quality foods and for them to build healthy bodies. But we need to not loose sight of the big picture and include their mental/emotional health too. And a good relationship with their parents is of utmost importance for their emotional health.
I hope you will work this thru and come out smarter and healthier in that regard.
Oftentimes when we know we should do better and then put the onus of perfection in that area on our kids, it is due to something deep within ourselves that's struggling sad and unbalanced.
Try to look inside of you why you are this way. Healing will benefit you and your children. Best of luck.
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amother
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:32 pm
| amother OP wrote: | To clarify, I drink diet Snapple.
And I do pour him a cup of iced tea if he requests it by supper or whatever. My bigger issue is avoiding spillage and mess (yes I know he's 13 , I just haven't changed my rules since he's little which is why I'm asking if I should readjust)
I'm afraid once I give him the green light to take whatever drinks he wants he will never go back to water. I didn't grow up drinking water and to this day, need sweet drinks only. |
Your teenager has to ASK for a drink? You POUR him a drink?? That is just so bizarre & controlling. He should be able to drink whatever is in the house, whenever he wants. Your behavior is just odd.
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amother
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:34 pm
| amother Apricot wrote: | | Your teenager has to ASK for a drink? You POUR him a drink?? That is just so bizarre & controlling. He should be able to drink whatever is in the house, whenever he wants. Your behavior is just odd. |
Water is available to everyone. Like I said, juice, soda, iced tea can't just be taken- but I usually give some if they ask.
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amother
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:37 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Water is available to everyone. Like I said, juice, soda, iced tea can't just be taken- but I usually give some if they ask. |
A teenager should not have to ask & be given.
If it's something that you regularly keep in the house & drink, then he should be able to take whenever he wants.
It's very odd to make teenagers have to ask parents for a drink.
I'm sure he buys himself drinks when he's out of the house.
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amother
Cerise
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:37 pm
| amother Calendula wrote: | | Of course your son is right. Kids should be able to drink whenever they want. This is concerning. |
She said whatever he wants, not whenever he wants.
I grew up with rules like that-but my mother wasn't sitting there drinking sweetened drinks and telling me to drink water.
maybe buy less sugary drinks and gradually water down your snapple until you can drink normal water.
maybe relax the rules a bit (orange juice, water, or seltzer anytime, let's say) and tell him it's a trial to see if he can pour neatly.
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amother
Olive
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:38 pm
I'm surprised your kids listen to these rules.
My kids can have whatever is in the fridge. But I usually don't have juice or other sugary drinks in there. We drink water, or if the kids decide to make lemonade then we have that. Occasionally apple juice if someone opens a bottle.
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Tzutzie
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:39 pm
| amother Daylily wrote: | I honestly thought you meant alcoholic beverages.
Summer is coming. Getting hot out there.... Let the kids drink! Don't keep drinks around if they're not allowed to have them.
Get a mini fridge for the sugary beverages and snapples and lock it so no one sees it or knows it's there. Don't have them see it and pine for it |
I offer ice for my kids. They love it!
We also buy no food coloring no corn syrup no artificial flavoring ice freeze pops.
Or I make juice with fruit or pure fruit smoothie w some plain almond milk a bit of sugar honey or agave syrup and freeze in molds or ice pops.
Usually after 2 ice pops (bought or homemade) I tell them to take plain ice. On Sundays and shabbos it's a lot more than 2. I feel like it's just part of a sweet childhood. I rarely had it and always craved it. It was something that always bothered me as a kid until I was old enough to make my own or have pocket money to buy my own. I don't want that for my kids. Let them enjoy being a kid. Playing in the scorching sun with a wet and sticky ice pop. Let them come in stinky and filthy from having a fun day! And then enjoy a soothing bath before bed.
Kids get messy and dirty. It's just how it is.
And re juice at supper. In the summer I try to "forget" to put the juice out on the supper table. More often than not kids forget....
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ray family
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Sat, May 11 2024, 9:44 pm
We only have water at home during the week so there isn’t an option for other drinks
I’m pretty liberal on Shabbos with how much they can drink of other drinks and whatever is leftover they can have Sunday with supper if they want.
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