What do your kids do after u light the candles?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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amother

Sat, May 11 2024, 10:52 pm

My kids fight over my lap. The younger one refuses to get off and take turns. He gets upset when my older one pushes him off. They don't want to both sit on my lap at the same time. How do I handle it? Trying to relax at the same time

amother

Goldenrod

Sat, May 11 2024, 10:59 pm

I set out toys for them to play with. They can sit on my lap but they know they need to make place for everyone or take turns.
It's a good things that with the later summer zmanim my youngers go to sleep then or 20 minutes later.

reality mom

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:03 pm

I have large 24 pc floor puzzles that I pull out. They play with it friday nights only which keeps it exciting.

amother

Canary ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:04 pm

They have kiddush and challah and go to sleep. If I’m organized, we’ll do that even before candle lighting. I try to feed them a proper supper at their normal time so they’re not hungry.

ETA- I’m talking about my little ones who are the age to fight over my lap. The older ones stay up but if they were fighting every week, I’d put them to sleep too.

ectomorph

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:04 pm

They fight ... as is the holy tradition. I try to take out toys but they're overtired by then

happy chick

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:06 pm

If they're old enough to stay up for the meal , they go to shul. If not , they go to bed. Supper is usually 5ish, regardless of whether or not they go to shul.

teachkids

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:06 pm

They're asleep. If not, they're eating

amother

Thistle

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:08 pm

They each choose a story for me to read and sit around me while I read them. It’s Shabbes story time.

nicole81

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:08 pm

I go up to my room and read a book. They can either come to my room and hang out nicely by talking or reading (looking at pictures) on the other bed or they play games with their older siblings.

amother

Obsidian

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:15 pm

My kids fight especially while I’m trying to light the Shabbos Candles. That’s their favorite time to start fighting and pulling on my clothes.

amother

Dill

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:18 pm

amother Obsidian wrote:

My kids fight especially while I’m trying to light the Shabbos Candles. That’s their favorite time to start fighting and pulling on my clothes.

My kids know that if it's past 7:00 and they're whining/ fighting/ melting down, I take it as a sign they're ready for bed. 7-8 is the most peaceful hour in my house.

Tzutzie

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:26 pm

I try to feed them an hour to zman.
I'll give them chicken smd kugel most Fridays.
Then everyone brushes their hair and turns on/off lights/lamps/fans/noise machine in their room.
Then I tell the older kids to do a once over again that no muktzah stuff toys are out.

By the time I tzind, they are fed, and feel good that they are ready for shabbos.
The older ones get to read the magazines or new books. The younger ones get free access to the game closet and / or playroom.
I usually grab something quick to eat or a small coffee and then just chill and am around. Sometimes we take out some song books and sing....

On Fridays where the kids barge in an hour b4 zman hungry and needing baths are INTENSE. I tell them to he home early enough with a time but we all know kids aren't great with time.... then I'll fed them after zman if they hadn't stuffed themselves with cookies...

My 2 youngest just turned 2 and 5.
That makes things a lot easier, no babies right now. And 5 yo will give his life for his sister. So bh no jelousy there.

I remember some years, Friday was my hardest day and then shabbos was a close second.... I would raise my voice at them too often then hate myself for it...

The trick is to make sure everyone is fed and feeling good about themselves. When they aren't hungry and feel big and helpful and needed and important they are less likely to fight.

amother

Pistachio

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:28 pm

Make me nuts

amother

↑ Canary

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:38 pm

amother Dill wrote:

My kids know that if it's past 7:00 and they're whining/ fighting/ melting down, I take it as a sign they're ready for bed. 7-8 is the most peaceful hour in my house.

Yes! Somehow even my 2 yo knows to play nicely by bedtime!

dena613

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:55 pm

Tzutzie wrote:

I
I usually grab something quick to eat or a small coffee and then just chill and am around. Sometimes we take out some song books and sing....

Check with your rov. I believe eating and drinking before kiddush is assur... But I'm from different circles than you.

Other than that, I love your Friday routine!

amother

Bluebell

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:58 pm

Does everyone else have their table all set when they light?
As soon as I light we set the table.I usually make a salad and the kids play with toys.

amother

Dustypink ↓

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:58 pm

dena613 wrote:

Check with your rov. I believe eating and drinking before kiddush is assur... But I'm from different circles than you.

Other than that, I love your Friday routine!

Many hold that eating or drinking immediately after candle lighting is allowed.

amother

↑ Dustypink

Sat, May 11 2024, 11:59 pm

Older one's daven, read, and play. Younger one's go to sleep. In the winter, older one's play with the little one's so I can rest a bit, and then I take over so they can read.

imanotmommy

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:06 am

They usually get a treat as soon as I light- like an ices or a new dollar toy

amother

Scarlet

Sun, May 12 2024, 12:09 am

Oldest goes to shul. Others usually play and read. We usually set table on Friday but if not why do it then. I make salads and put out dips..
We e all hang out in family room/(also playroom)

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