Bar mitzvah--Do you wear the same clothes to both parts?

amother

OP ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:36 pm

If we're making a seuda for family and close friends only during the week and a kiddush in shul for the whole community, do I need a different dress for each one? Some of the guests will be at both. What is commonly done?

Ema of 5 ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

If we're making a seuda for family and close friends only and a kiddush in shul for the whole community, do I need a different dress for each one? Some of the guests will be at both. What is commonly done?

I do not plan to change between the kiddush and the meal.

amother

Bronze ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:44 pm

Do you mean that both are on Shabbos? The same day? Like first is the kiddush and then the seudah?
Forsure the same outfit. I have been to many simchas like that and the hostess never changes.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:44 pm

Ema of 5 wrote:

I do not plan to change between the kiddush and the meal.

I wasn't clear. Kiddush in on Shabbos and meal is the bo bayom during the week.

amother

Yellow ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:44 pm

Are both on shabbos day?

No one changes

If the seudah is on Sunday night then yes wear 2 different outfits

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:47 pm

amother Yellow wrote:

Are both on shabbos day?

No one changes

If the seudah is on Sunday night then yes wear 2 different outfits

Why Sunday night? It's on a weekday but not a Sunday.

mha3484

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:49 pm

I wore the same dress to both the bo bayom and kiddush but they were a week and a half apart. I think if the kiddush was a few days after Id have wanted to wear something else for variety.

amother

↑ Bronze

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:52 pm

amother OP wrote:

I wasn't clear. Kiddush in on Shabbos and meal is the bo bayom during the week.

In that case, yes most bar mitzvahs I've been to the mother doesn't wear the same outfit. But you could do what you want and feel confident about it. I'm sure most guests wont even realize (well, I wouldn't because I'm that type)

amother

Floralwhite ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:52 pm

I'm making a bar mitzvah soon. I plan on wearing a few different outfits.
One for Bo bayom (outfit I already have not new)
One for Friday night
One for shabbos day
Maybe more casual for shabbos afternoon after meal.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:53 pm

mha3484 wrote:

I wore the same dress to both the bo bayom and kiddush but they were a week and a half apart. I think if the kiddush was a few days after Id have wanted to wear something else for variety.

Ours is a few days apart.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:54 pm

amother Floralwhite wrote:

Friday night and Shabbos afternoon are irrelevant in my case because we will be home alone. It's only the bo bayom and the kiddush on Shabbos.

amother

Blueberry

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:56 pm

If you’re having one part of the bar mitzva in middle of the week and a kiddush Shabbos, the mother and sisters usually wear different outfits. You can wear the same thing if it’s easier for you. You asked what most people do so I’m telling you but it’s not a rule you have to follow.

↑ Ema of 5

Sun, May 05 2024, 11:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

I wasn't clear. Kiddush in on Shabbos and meal is the bo bayom during the week.

Oh so the for that I would wear different.

amother

↑ Floralwhite

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:01 am

amother OP wrote:

Friday night and Shabbos afternoon are irrelevant in my case because we will be home alone. It's only the bo bayom and the kiddush on Shabbos.

So I would do different ones.

In my case I am making a full shabbos so need different outfits (besides for "fashion", my baby spits up...he will be iyh 3.5 months then and I definitely won't be able to wear the same dress. Lol)

Bo bayom for me is going to be more casual

amother

Pink

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:03 am

I wear different dresses/outfit to bo byom suda and shabbos to shul and kiddush. I dress more dressy for bo byom suda (dress young daughters in different dresses too, boys all wear the same

ray family

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:12 am

I wore something dressier to the bo bayom.
As it happens both of my bar mitzvahs were around yt time so I bought a new outfit for yt that I also wore Shabbos day to shul. Would I specifically go and buy a new outfit? I’m not sure.

To answer your question, yes, I wore two different outfits

amother

↑ Yellow ↓

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:15 am

amother OP wrote:

Why Sunday night? It's on a weekday but not a Sunday.

My bad. In my circles weeknight bar mitzvahs aren’t a thing. The parties are always on Sunday

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:17 am

amother Yellow wrote:

My bad. In my circles weeknight bar mitzvahs aren’t a thing. The parties are always on Sunday

Interesting. We do it on the day of the actual bar mitzvah.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, May 06 2024, 12:18 am

Thanks for all the replies. Two dresses it is.