When the boys come home

amother

OP ↓

Wed, May 01 2024, 6:48 pm

Where I live, seeing a yeshiva bochur walking down the street is not such a common sight.

And so, when, one fine day, while driving to the grocery store, I see not one, but 5 boys in hats and jackets with tzitzis flying and holding tefillin bags....I know, the boys are coming home. I don't have to live in a yeshiva town to know when it's Bein Hazemanim. The very streets come alive.

What strikes me as interesting is seeing all these guys who just a short while ago were regular kids, wearing poloshirts and sneakers, with smooth cheeks, riding their scooters and bikes down the streets- now being transformed into these serious, lanky young men, with 3 day-old beards. And when do they learn to walk all hunched over, their long legs walking purposefully as they rush to and from shul? You can see they take themselves and each other very seriously, which of course makes me smile.

I watch my son, and I wonder at the metamorphosis. When did he start making these faces and hand gestures when trying to explain a concept? When did he stop speaking English and start speaking a hodgepodge of Yiddish, English and Aramaic, answering questions with more questions? Other times, responding with one or two sharp words that patur up all the kashes, accompanied by an elaborate shrug of the shoulders. And when did he become a person with so much conviction, so much energetic zeal, and so many strong opinions about the world? Was I once like that? It's hard to remember.

And the food...They don't eat, they inhale the food. They consume food so fast, you wonder if they chewed at all. And before you know it, they are out of the house again.

This morning my son calls me from shul to ask if I need his help. That is very kind of him, to remember his old mama who is still not finished packing away from Pesach. I ask him when he can come home to bring the Pesach boxes up to the attic.
After first seder, he tells me. (First seder? Isn't this bein hazemanim? I don’t ask the question.) Ok, I say, bring a friend.

My son comes home at lunchtime, with another boy, almost 6 feet tall. Didn't I just attend his Bar Mitzva? In 10 minutes, these two strapping boys manage to transport all the Pesach boxes back to the attic, where they will hibernate all year.
When they are done, I offer to pay the friend.
No, he shakes his head, all embarrassed. He doesn't make eye contact.
I try to convince him to buy himself something, a sefer, anything.
He says no.
"What about a potato kugel? For shabbos."
"Ok, that works," he says. That's always a good form of payment.
Then the two boys sit down to eat some cereal and milk before heading out the door, back to shul.

And I realize, with a pang, that it's just a few more days, and soon the streets will be empty of these yeshiva bochurim.
Until the next bein hazemanim when the boys come home once again.

amother

Azalea ↓

Wed, May 01 2024, 6:50 pm

Potato kugel 😂

familyfirst

Wed, May 01 2024, 6:54 pm

You write so well!!

You need to publish this somewhere- and would be awesome to read more if your insights.
Very well done!

amother

Whitesmoke

Wed, May 01 2024, 6:56 pm

We all know you make the best potato kugel, PKL!

effess

Wed, May 01 2024, 6:57 pm

I can’t love this enough!
Thank you for writing this up.
You have a great writing talent!

gdgirl

Wed, May 01 2024, 6:57 pm

yep even without the potato kugel you gave yourself away with the excellent writing, PKL;)

amother

Gladiolus ↓

Wed, May 01 2024, 7:15 pm

I have two little boys and this made me tear up, idk why! I guess thinking about how they're going to grow up so fast and there's nothing I can do to stop the time ...

Hashem_Yaazor ↓

Wed, May 01 2024, 7:20 pm

My son doth protest. He hates the stereotype that bochurim eat non stop.
Not true, he says.
Only if it's good.
Hence the 4 plates of meatballs he downs for supper, or egg rolls for breakfast, or 5 out of the 6 eggs he makes in shakshuka.
But really he barely eats.
😂😂😂

ShishKabob

Wed, May 01 2024, 7:26 pm

I am an avowed fan, unabashedly.
You not only write well, your positive vibes and real ayin tov shine through in everything that you write.
Would love to know you irl.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, May 01 2024, 7:43 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

The question is how they are all so skinny. My son claims that he has no appetite during the zman. He skips meals all the time in yeshiva. But, when he comes home, he can seriously down 5 pieces of gefilte fish, 2 portions of salmon and a whole matza within 5 minutes.
I think they get into the habit of eating so fast in yeshiva because they often schedule more chavrusas during their mealtimes. Or because they are afraid that the food will run out before they get to it. Or both.

(So if you married a yeshiva guy, and wondered why your new husband wolfs down his food so fast that he finishes his plate before you even took your first bite, don't wonder anymore. Just give him some time to learn that the food won't dissappear if he doesn't gobble it all up in three minutes. It will happen...eventually.)

amother

↑ Azalea ↓

Wed, May 01 2024, 7:44 pm

ShishKabob wrote:

I am an avowed fan, unabashedly.
You not only write well, your positive vibes and real ayin tov shine through in everything that you write.
Would love to know you irl.

Yes I relax into the writing ❤️

dena613

Wed, May 01 2024, 7:50 pm

Yay PKL!!!.

As.soon as I saw the topic name, I knew it was you!! Smile

Beautiful beautiful beautiful

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, May 01 2024, 7:55 pm

amother Gladiolus wrote:

I have two little boys and this made me tear up, idk why! I guess thinking about how they're going to grow up so fast and there's nothing I can do to stop the time ...

I'm with you. I have a few little boys coming down the pike. When I see them interacting with their big brothers, I can't help but feel nostalgic remembering the sweet innocence of my older sons. My next son just turned 10 this week. His voice is still high pitched and he has a mouth full of baby teeth (and some adult teeth as well). He loves collecting Leaders cards and playing with his diabolo.
But in just a few short years, he will want a shaver (gasp), and his straight posture will begin to stoop. His cheekbones will start to protrude, and he will forget all of his English. I know this because it happened to my other sons.
But I wouldn't want it any other way:)

sequoia

Wed, May 01 2024, 8:55 pm

We have to add this to the master thread.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, May 01 2024, 9:01 pm

Thank you familyfirst, effess, gdgirl, ShishKabob, dena613, Hashem Yaazor, Sequoia and amothers Whitesmoke, Gladiolus and Azalea.
I always appreciate your feedback and compliments!
And while I've often said I don't plan to publish these, I'm happy to have a little reading club here, with whom to share my rambles.