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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Pesach
amother
Honey
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 5:33 am
I enjoy the the Seder when I’m in Israel and keep only 1.
I feel really sick though after because of the matzah.
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essie14
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 7:19 am
Don't love the matza but love everything else.
LOVE that we only have one here in Israel!
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amother
Cantaloupe
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 7:28 am
A few years ago I decided that YT in general must be enjoyable for Mama too, pesach included.
I dont go nuts cleaning for pesach. I clean halachikally for pesach and my DH does the heavy duty stuff.
I love cooking and make a delicious meal.
We read quickly through maggid and focus on the parts that are story telling and singing with kids.
We dont stay at the table. We get up, dance and act out the story.
Every year I buy one nice new thing for the tableand we love our setup.
All the children divrei torah are saved for shulchan orech.
We all eat and drink the smallest shiurim. A kzayis and a reviis are not large at all and nobody gets sick.
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amother
Pear
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 10:45 am
6/10
I like it a little. We do a fast one.
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little neshamala
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 11:00 am
I love the seder, because im not tired at all.
Every year I make sure to "trick" myself that yomtov starts 3 days earlier.
No matter what, no matter how late we need to stay up, by 3 days before everything is done.
The only things I do right before are making chazeres, maror charoses...
So im quite well rested in time for the seder.
I should add that I only do spring cleaning after pesach, before shavuous.
I do just what I need to do halachicly in terms of actual chametz. So this reduces a lot of the workload.
And I turn over my kitchen a lot earlier than most people, so I have more time to cook.
Works really well for us BH
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amother
Peach
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 11:07 am
Id like it if my kids got along, my husband didn't have to yell at them at all, I didn't have to eat all that matzah and grape juice (makes me feel gross!!), and if it wasn't so long. Although I never really dwelled on it I guess I don't love it. I wish I didn't open this thread lol it made me realize all this. Anyway I didn't read the whole thing. But...I do love the one poster who is grateful for what she has and davens for the good in the future. I will try to focus on that.
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Ruchel
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 2:12 pm
The customs the food the songs... And NOT finish at 3 am
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amother
IndianRed
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 2:19 pm
amother Green wrote: | Love it b"h. We are all excited for it.
I'm doing seder as no dh around and dc are getting older so has different flavour. More depth etc and we all enjoy it.
1st time having a son in law around, so no singing for me and dds 😔. Boys will have to manage 😉
Any other mums leading the seder? |
I lead mine too and I must say it’s a beautiful seder if I may say so myself.
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amother
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 2:52 pm
amother IndianRed wrote: | I lead mine too and I must say it’s a beautiful seder if I may say so myself. |
Yes I believe you!!!
The first time I made our was Incredibly beautiful. We all loved it and decided never to go out again for seder.
We women can do it too!!!
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kermit
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 4:11 pm
amother Opal wrote: | [
To survive, I learned to escape and live in my head. read books, distract, relax, escape, eat my feelings, go somewhere else in my brain. it's a trauma response that many people have, even those who go through low level but chronic stress.
But I have been actively working on taking a deep breath when my mind and patience want to leave and and just BEING there, wherever I am.
BEING has been absolutely TRANSFORMATIVE.)
Please tell me how you worked on being present. I'm always looking for an escape and find it so hard to be present. |
-Breath work. if I catch myself doing it when someone's talking to me, or at the table etc, I take 10 deep breaths. it's amazing how that often helps me tune back in.
-practicing to be present and concentrate on the moment in short pockets of time every day. like 'when my son comes home from school, I'm just going to sit with him for five minutes', or 'when I say this capital, I'm going to focus and read the transliteration for every word.' this stretched my 'focusing' muscles and I found I was able to concentrate more in all circumstances, even davening which I majorly zone out of in the past
-If I notice I'm spacing out or hiding on the couch for too long, I try to ask myself why I'm doing it, what triggered this? being inquisitive helps me figure out what's really bothering me and see if I can address that instead, even if not this time around, but next time I'll be able to nope my way out of the situation because now I know it's not healthy for me-- takes a lot of bravery though (ex. procrastinating a task that feels too big? can I ask someone to help me with it/can I just do part of it etc OR ex. hurt about what someone said to me? try and go for a walk or research how to handle that personality instead of zoning out). baby steps!
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amother
Ginger
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Fri, Apr 12 2024, 4:45 pm
All those saying u don't like it or even hate it, now that u acknowledge that, can u change something so it won't be repeat again? I used to really not enjoy and now I really do.
I was having trouble with the matzah so dh found a tiny shiur and said for a woman, he agrees it's enough. Same with marror. No measuring matzahs by us though.
I hated the long serious seders by the grandparents so we stay home, focus on our own kids, put the Littles to sleep as needed as we go along.
Maggid was too long so we spend time discussing until the 4 sons and then whichever kids are old enough say/sing it with dh so we're not taking forever.
I work really hard for yt to be nice. And sometimes it means making changes. No my parents and in laws aren't happy we stopped coming, and some years we do go away for one night, but we join for a day meal instead when everyone is much more rested. My sisters kids are always crazy a whole yt cuz she's scared to make the jump to staying home and the sedarim by my parents finish after 2 or 3 both nights.
Also, talk to dh about little changes u can decide in advance. Can u drink only half the becher? Can u limit dvar torahs?
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amother
Eggplant
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Sat, Apr 13 2024, 10:44 pm
I always liked it for many years, but with small children I find it challenging. If Dh took the lead more , it would be better. I find that I have to do almost everything even though , he officially leads the Seder, he doesn’t do much.
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amother
Khaki
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Sat, Apr 13 2024, 11:32 pm
I wish I enjoyed it! Trying to make it as nice as possible for the kids . But I find that even with help, some take out, etc it’s just all too much work !
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amother
Aster
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Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:07 am
Don’t enjoy it at all. Does anyone leave partway through? I used to just sleep on the couch but in-laws’ couch is now in the dining room. I’m thinking about just going home and going to bed when the kids are ready.
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HonesttoGod
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Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:29 am
Do not love it.
Second night is usually better than first because we’re rested and calmer kids included. So that’s definitely nicer.
I try get hagaddahs with stories and commentary in it so I can distract a bit. My anxiety kicks in and I’m lucky if I finish my second cup of grape juice.
On the plus side not much is expected from me in terms of leading serving saying etc so I enjoy that part.
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amother
Garnet
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Sun, Apr 14 2024, 1:51 am
I have adhd and wine and matzah are terrible for my brain. I get very antsy and bored at the Seder. However I really try hard to be in the moment and enjoy. I usually read commentaries to relieve the boredom. Does anyone have ideas how to help me enjoy more?
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amother
Bluebell
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Sun, Apr 14 2024, 2:00 am
After all the weeks of hard work and preparation sitting down to a Beautiful Seder even we're exhausted I feel it was,all worth it. Singing Divrei Torahs doesn't have to go on for hours - but the atmosphere and feeling sooo holy is really sooo special
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camp123
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Sun, Apr 14 2024, 3:10 am
I think when you prepare mentally for it , it can be inspiring and it's a way to feel the love and emunah of Hashem. But, if you feel disconnected during the year and you don't prepare by learning emunah and try to somewhat improve your relationship with Hashem then the sader can make you feel empty. It's all in the mind.
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amother
Heather
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Sun, Apr 14 2024, 6:33 pm
I hate it. It’s long boring and I feel guilty that I don’t want to be there. I work hard before pesach and I’d rather go to sleep. I know I sound so negative but I get no appreciation for all that I’ve done and I’m just waiting to serve and clean up so I can finally get to sleep
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