S/o coupons/middle class

farm

Wed, Apr 03 2024, 9:55 pm

@travelhearter
Your mashal doesn’t work because your neighbor getting speech therapy doesn’t change your kid’s speech issue. But your neighbor’s brand spanking new Manuela de Juan Pesach Seder loafers and Veja chol hamoed sneakers bought with tzedaka gift cards from the local shoe store changes your kid’s Cat and Jack Pesach loafers from Target and old sneakers from the end of last summer clearance sale into embarrassingly nebby.

↑ TravelHearter

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 7:59 am

farm wrote:

I get that. People on this thread showed me how giving out gift cards to high-end stores definitely ups the peer pressure/'trendy' level.
But again, as always, this is something for me to work on within myself. Just like I've felt peer pressure ever since I was a kid, and have had to figure out how to deal with that, this is no exception. To be honest, I didn't even know that organizations have been giving out more high-end things, and yes, the whole concept of that, and of poor middle-class families not being eligible for any of these things is a major flaw. (I'm a fellow 'poor' but not poor enough mother). At the end of the day, I personally do not know anyone who has a 'say' in how these organizations decide these things, and I'd venture to say neither do most people. Can I complain to my Rav? Yes, and you never know, that might do something.
However, this is the kind of topic people feel passionately about (for good reason), that most can't do anything about, so what is the point of continuing and going in circles about it? I'm not trying to invalidate anyone's feelings. People can vent. But it's at the point where people are going beyond venting how hard and unfair it is. At this point these threads are all cycles of negativity, and be honest, is it helping?? Practically- No. Emotionally- No. I don't consider something that makes you more upset helpful.

amother

Maize

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 8:04 am

Can there be a push for families that receive these coupons and don't really need them to give it away? Maybe someone who collects them and gives them to families that don't qualify and are struggling?

It would be a form of tzedaka for the poor/kollel/Klei kodesh people. They'd get a mitzvah instead of an $100 pair of shoes that they don't need. And those of them that are giving maaser, I wonder if they could write it off their maaser too. Win-win.

↑ bsy

Thu, Apr 04 2024, 8:12 am

amother Maize wrote:

It's not that I can't use the 80 dollar card for shoes. It's just if the stores would instead sell sale shoes for 40 dollars, I could buy that. If I have the cards, I'll buy shoes that are more expensive. But they arent necessary for anyone! Sale shoes are fine for everyone