(GAME) Write an ad for a random invention

Boca00 ↓

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 10:29 pm

The way it works is one person posts a random invention. The next person writes up a short ad for it, and posts another random invention.

For example:
Poster 1: Random invention- Shaitels for bald baby girls

Poster 2: Is your baby girl being called by the wrong pronouns? Getting passed to the men's section by a simcha? Forced to wear pink day-in, day-out so she's not called "Buddy"?

Introducing, for the very first time- GoldaLocks- Wigs that are just right.
Not too short, not too long, not too dark, not too blond.

Random invention- A carpool lane fast pass

patzer ↓

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 10:51 pm

Are you a woman of extraordinary talents and abilities? Do you spend your days contributing to humanity in your own special, unique way?
In other words: Are you too special to spend your time waiting in the carpool lane together with the ordinary folk?
Introducing...the carpool lane fast pass! Get the treatment you deserve. Race to the head of the line. You'll be done in no time, and will even have time to wave goodbye to the lowly women you're leaving behind as you rush along your way to save the planet.

Random invention: a device preventing you
from spending too much time on this website when you really ought to be cleaning your house.

MommyM ↓

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 11:07 pm

Do you have a to-do list as long as a book? Are your floors a mess, counters dirty, while you're sitting here scrolling Imamother?

Introducing... the Imamother timer. Set your preferred time as soon as you log on, and you'll be set. As soon as your time is up, you will be logged out of Imamother for the next little while.

Random invention: self-cleaning floors

amf

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 11:15 pm

You didn't clean it. But it still meets your standards.

A floor that doesn't need cleaning? Yes please.
A floor that doesn't need cleaning, because it cleaned itself? Oh yes please!

CleanAwood- Available now at better flooring centers

Random invitation- a baby burper

Last edited by amf on Thu, Mar 14 2024, 11:16 pm; edited 1 time in total

effess ↓

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 11:16 pm

Did the next door neighbor walk inside with muddy shoes ten minutes before your expecting the new kallah to visit?
Did the baby wake up before you had a chance to clear the space?

No sweat! Just click the self cleaning floor option and watch ad you floors are swept, mopped, dried in front of your eyes.
Bonus: if you haven’t showered that day, lie down in the floor and you’ll come out spotless too!

Kid discipliner

↑ Boca00 ↓

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:31 am

amf wrote:

“It used to take me 15 minutes to burp my baby after every feed! She would be crying, I would be crying… Then my friend introduced me to BurpAway and my life changed overnight!” Shani Klein, New York.

Billions of moms just like you have had their sanity restored by using our innovative, patented, unique and exclusive BurpAway! Get yours today!

Please note: By using BurpAway you accept all cookies, agree to the terms and conditions, and agree to hold BurpAway not liable for any damages. Ask your doctor before using. Really bad side effects may occur.

Last edited by Boca00 on Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:43 am; edited 1 time in total

↑ Boca00 ↓

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:40 am

effess wrote:

Kid throwing a tantrum in the candy aisle? Sneaking out of bed for the zillionth time? Coloring on your freshly painted wall?

After years of innovative research and rave reviews, Dr. Middos’ home edition “MiddosMachine’le” is now available in stores near you!
“Middos Machine’le” detects bad Middos using innovative AI, writes corresponding songs using ChatGPT and automatically plays it at full blast in an endless loop until the bad middah is gone!

Invention- an all in one sukkah/Megillah/menorah/matzah/shofar/cheesecake

↑ effess

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 1:19 am

Tired of remembering which holiday matches to which props? We’ve got you covered. Just say the first three letters of the holiday and the applicable prop will be set up for immediate use.
For extra fun there are features to confuse the satan, as well as to offer Adar schtick.
Welcome to the Jewish year wrapped in one convenient box.

Mail sorter/filer/trash the junker

↑ patzer

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 8:07 am

Do you suffer from more incoming mail than you know what to do with? Tired of random unread pieces of correspondence floating all about your house?
That wedding invitation you just spotted peeking out from beneath your couch? Is the happy couple married already? Are the children of the happy couple married already?
That telephone bill stuffed carelessly into your pot cabinet? The one that says "final notice" in angry red letters? Does that have anything to do with the fact that your kids have been asking to use your cell phone lately?
Introducing....the mail sorter! Incoming mail will be sorted and dealt with in a timely fashion! No more missed deadlines! No more chaos! Try it....you won't regret it!

Random invention: an alarm clock that will compel you to get up on time and will not hesitate to use force when necessary.

The Happy Wife ↓

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 9:47 am

overSLEEPnoMORE

Do you struggle to wake up in the morning? Does your alarm clock always let you down in the morning instead of getting you up? Try new overSLEEPnoMORE!

With it's accordian style flexi-arm, this alarm clock gets right in your face and won't stop working until you're wide awake.

The ultra-high decibel volume will make you shake and get your adrenaline pumping every time. You may even get rid of your coffee maker!

If that's not enough, our integrated ice shooter will shoot ice pellets at you until you type in the 28 digit alphanumeric passcode.

Try it now, and you will overSLEEPnoMORE.

Invention: automatic schnitzel breader

↑ Boca00

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 11:42 am

Staring hopelessly at a family pack chunk of shnitzel 10 min before your Hungry Men are coming home for dinner?
Volunteered to make shnitzel for a new mom and then realized she has 12 kids?

Introducing ShnitzBlitz- a super fast shnitzel breading machine! Put your feet up on that pile of laundry and read your kid’s Circle Magazine while this machine does all the hard work for you!

Works on Vegan cutlets and green beans as well!

Invention- an all in one Chol Hamoed destination that has something for every single family member

↑ MommyM

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:15 pm

It's Chol Hamoed morning, and Shani asks that infamous Chol Hamoed question, "What are we doing today?" And then you hear the choir in the background, "Yeah, what are we doing today?" And you feel like you need to escape... Chani wants to go to the amusement park, Rochi wants to go to the zoo, and Shifra wants to go to the indoor trampoline park.
Sounds familiar? Does this scene happen in your home too?

Introducing the Grand opening of the Chol Hamoed Paradise... all Chol Hamoed destinations at one address. Yes, you heard right! We have something for everyone... from your teens to your toddlers. Don't forget Bubby and Zaidy; we have options for them too... All for the wonderful price of $25 per family!

Invention - self-making beds (including putting quilts in covers).

↑ The Happy Wife

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 12:36 pm

Does the thought of unmade beds waiting for you make you want to pull the covers over your head and hide? Fear not, we have the solution to your problem.

New SheetBeNeat will make your bed for you before you can say modeh ani! (Warning: do not stay in bed and say modeh ani while SheetBeNeat is activated.)

SheetBeNeat will make your bed perfectly. Settings include: casual, in-laws are coming, and hospital corners. For Adar, you can make your entire household laugh at your shtick by setting the SheetBeNeat to short-sheet.

Upgrade to our deluxe model SheetBeNeat with DuvetAway, which can put your comforters in the duvet and pillows in their cases.

Looking for a way to use your system on Shabbos and Yom Tov? Try our new Shabbos friendly SheetBeNeat, platinum edition.

New invention: something that gathers everything your kids need for school each day