Del | Imamother

amother

Jean ↓

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 1:25 pm

Princess23 wrote:

It’s just incredible how a convert can become chasidish. It’s like taking a random non Jews, putting them into an insular community and telling them to follow everything they do. No matter how much they may believe in it or think it’s right, that’s just not feasible for most. Therefore, to me, it makes most sense for converts just to practice and live life doing mitzvos while still being the way they were before. Meaning, hanging out with same crowd prior to conversion, going to regular colleges, etc… meaning be modern orthodox more than chasidish. Also, the mindset of being raised non religious, you will always know the mindset of not frum people and be able to understand them better, than someone like me who was raised ffb. It doesn’t matter how much time I spend with not religious world, I just can’t relate as well. I see it with my husband. Also, so many frum people are judgemental towards converts and unaccepting. I try not telling people my husband a convert. It made a whole interesting conversation with a Jewish women married to a non Jewish guy. But, you get the point. Same way most bt and geirim are still picking up on frum social life, I too still am picking up on not Jewish world. Sometimes, I’ll think I’m the only Jew around and get excited to see other Jews. Just happened to me on Reddit. I was on a forum similar to this for my work. There were Indians and different random non Jews, I saw a Jew and was like wait, your Jewish too?! Then I noticed the username and was like ok, that makes sense lol.

I'm sorry I'm not understanding your post. Can you please explain what you mean by 'taking a random non-Jew and putting them into a...community...telling them to follow..'. Noone is putting anyone anywhere! Nor are they telling anyone to follow anyone!

These people are fully grown adults who have made their own decision about which community they want to be part of. Did anyone 'tell you' where to live? No? Nor do they tell anyone else.

Of course if a convert has doubts concerning the best place to live then guess what? They will ask and receive advice from a Rav/mentor-exactly the same way as any other Jew would-it's completely irrelevant whether or not they were born Jewish!

Also why do you seem to think that a convert should live amongst non-Jews AFTER they have been me'gayer? If someone converts they obviously want to live as part of a Jewish community, because THEY ARE AS JEWISH AS YOU AND ME. What they were before converting IS IRRELEVANT!!

ETA: I live in a very chareidi yeshivish Community. Some of my children had daughters of geirim in their classes. They were part and parcel of the school, the community, the Shuls, everything. In fact not everyone knew their background, and if they did it was simply a fact, that's all. They went on to marry siblings of classmates, in short they were fully integrated in every way.

So Princess, please explain why they should 'live amongst non-Jews'. Would it bother you if your daughter would be friends with them? All I can say is that my daughters gained tremendously having these wonderful girls as their friends.

amother

Almond ↓

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 1:29 pm

amother Jean wrote:

Just ignore. Her post is judgmental and really not so intelligent.

Highstrung

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 1:42 pm

I know this thread went off course I felt the need to give OP chizuk.

My father was a ger. I literally just got up from shiva for him yesterday. When he became a yid he came to Bobov. My father was known to have spent the most time one on one with the Bobover Rebbe, Reb Shlomo z”l. My father left the community over 30 yrs ago , due to personal issues he had .
Let me tell, the outpouring of love from Bobov was beyond anything we could imagine. The Satmar Rebbe , Reb Yoel also gave my father special kavod and he wasn’t even. Satmar chossid. I went to Bais Brocha and later to BY and my brothers to Bobov. I always fit in and never once felt “different”. Rabbi Scherman from Bais Brocha came to be menachem avel as well as BOTH Bobover Rebbes , 48th and 45th.
I have an extended “family” with many Chasidish “relatives”. Bobov, Belz, Chabad, and Gur.
And now when I shared my background and who my father was with the menahel of my kids school, he was so touched .
In this messed up world , people judge converts for joining the frum world. Sometimes , I would think , why do I have such pride about my father’s journey and his geirus? People think it’s a bad thing. But now after his passing I got to see why. I know I’m lucky to have this “yichus”, even if it’s hard for many people to understand.

OP, hatzlacha on getting your daughter into the right school. Know that many times we experience rejection. I have many many times. But remember as horrible as it feels, it’s all part of Hashem’s way of sending you and guiding you on the right path to the right place. So if you’re not accepted in one school, that means it wasn’t meant for her and ultimately HaShem will put her where she was meant to be on her journey of life. You will see.

Hatzlacha rabba

amother

↑ Almond ↓

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 1:51 pm

Highstrung wrote:

Amazing 💕

amother

Bisque

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 1:58 pm

Princess23 wrote:

It doesn't seem like you have much exposure to BTs or converts. I know many very Yeshivish BTs- you'd never know they came from a nonfrum background.

amother

Yolk ↓

Thu, Mar 14 2024, 3:29 pm

amother OP wrote:

When I tell people that I'm a convert their eyes pop right out. They all say I look too "heimish" and "they would've never thought". My husband is very knowledgeable bh and takes everything very seriously and he and I are a solid couple. Yes we bump heads sometimes lol but we BH have a rav. My son goes to a very chasidish cheder (satmar bobov skver viznitz - big names like that) so my husband probably wants a girls school that "matches" with my son's. We got into that cheder because in the shul where we belong and go to most of the boys go to this one cheder. My husband explained to me once in detail but its escaping me at the moment. I am more open to bybp type schools. There are different levels of chasidish and honestly I'm not sure what my personal level is lol. My husband is more shtark than I am thats for sure. Like yea if we have a question in halacha, chinuch, etc we run to the rav. But we dont ask a rav for every little thing we want to do like move apartments. My husband is still in touch with his mother but not as much as I am so there IS some contact with our non Jewish relatives. Our mothers are iyh coming in the summer to meet their grandchildren for the first time so there will be quite the conversation with my son. My daughter is too little to chap...
For now my husband wants to try every school before turning to bybp. If you saw us on the street you wouldn't think twice. We are told that bh we blend in so well. My kids are yiddish speaking, I am learning the language painfully slowly. And it's definitely awkward when my son says a full blown paragraph and I'm like "uhmmmm...ok zeier shein" and he looks at me funny and tries to explain to me what he said. I do speak to him in english and he responds only Yiddish but BH one of us understands the other completely. My daughter is just barely starting to talk but I wont be surprised if she catches on quick. I speak English to my kids. My husband is fluent in yiddish but again he knows 5 languages.
I was not always chasidish all my frum life. I was drawn to it though so when I met my husband the rest was history.

That would make me so sad to not be able to understand my own children. Can’t they speak English with you at home?

amother

↑ Jean

Fri, Mar 15 2024, 8:20 am

amother Jean wrote:

Should I delete this post? Mods have removed some posts for a particular reason from another thread and judging from what they removed this might be considered offensive for the same reason...
OTOH if they didn't remove it then maybe it's okay, idk...