What’s one socially off/ awkward conversation u witnessed?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 1:59 pm

amother Mulberry wrote:

FIM Syndrome. (Foot In Mouth)

Some people get occasional attacks, others have a chronic case. I don't know if there are any treatments other than duct tape.

Love the way you said it!

BH Yom Yom

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:03 pm

amother OP wrote:

Very true.
I learned though, when you don’t know what to say, say nothing. Wait to see where person will lead you..

This. Also, it’s okay to say that you don’t know what to say. When I have been dealing with certain difficult situations, sometimes a friend showing that she cares without falling back on platitudes, bitachon speeches etc - just saying that she didn’t know what to say but taking time to listen to me, felt so supportive.

But people redting shidduchim during shiva? Seriously? Can't Believe It

amother

Jean

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:06 pm

When I was in a nail salon and a jewish lady walks in and sees her friend, she says hello to her friend and then tells the manicurist no polish, she doesn't have time to dry. Her friend pipes up and says why don't you get gel"
I wasn't even married at the time, but I felt so embarrassed for that first lady. Her friend should have known better than to comment.

amother

Canary

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:06 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

I think in difficult situations some people try and give support by relating the closest challenge they've had, as if it will somehow show empathy perhaps? It comes across as very self centered, especially when the challenge isn't really comparable. And even when it is, to be honest. Someone sitting shiva or anything similar doesn't need to hear about your loss, they need to lead the conversation with whatever they want to talk about - whether it's their loss or the weather outside...

Or they try to outdo you. Like that really helps? I'm suddenly going to feel better because you experienced something even worse?

groovy1224

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:12 pm

I was being menachem avel by a family friend who lost his mother. His mother had lived in her home until her passing, which happened to be located in an area that had recently become a hot market.

AT THE SHIVA, A guy leans in and says so how many bedrooms was her house? Are you selling? I have a daughter looking..

Seriously what is wrong with people.

amother

PlumPink

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:13 pm

Just a few hours after I gave birth to girl #5 (no boys yet), someone called to wish me Mazel Tov. After she said that exciting Mazel Tov! She lowers her tone and says “oh, there’s nothing like little boys”

Cookin4days

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:14 pm

amother Jean wrote:

This seems like an honest mistake

amother

Firethorn

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:18 pm

Friend was sitting shiva for her daughter who had committed suicide. Woman walks in, sits down, and announces to the room "I was one of the first to hear the news because my husband is on hatzola. At first I couldn't believe it, but then I remembered that she was a bit different".
Silence in the room ...

Cheiny ↓

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:21 pm

amother OP wrote:

Feel free to say what you can’t say in real life.

I was by a shiva where my friend lost her child and there’s this woman there going on about her early miscarriage.. we were all sitting there and cringing..

When a Yeshiva principal was niftar, I heard a woman who had worked with her practically wail to the niftar’s children, “I know you all are her children, but WHAT ABOUT ME?? What am I supposed to do now?!” Oh my. It left everyone speechless.

↑ Cheiny ↓

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:22 pm

amother Firethorn wrote:

Oh gosh, you really have to wonder what people like that are thinking… or not.

amother

↑ Nemesia

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:24 pm

Cheiny wrote:

I had this at the shiva when my mom died! She was an inspirational person and some women were crying to me (I was a teenager) that they don't know how they will manage without her. One even asked me for spiritual guidance Can't Believe It

amother

Oatmeal ↓

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:26 pm

613mitzvahgirl wrote:

Someone asked my husband when he was sitting shiva outright asked him if he was going to say Kaddish, then my husband said yeah, why not..the person didn’t have anything to say after that..
When I was a teen someone from my high school stood up in middle of a pizza shop and said my name and yelled at me- you know why the person sitting next to you is sitting with you. I said yeah she’s a friend. She said no, nobody likes you, you have no friends- she’s doing it bc she feels bad for you and you have no friends.. I ran out of that pizza shop all the way home.. I still remember her name, the pizza shop- it closed down a while after this, and how I just cried and cried to my brother.. and yes that girl that was with me never got together with me after that..

This is not awkward or socially off. It's downright cruel (and likely would be considered murder by halachah fro causing such public embarrassment).

amother

↑ Oatmeal

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:34 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

To be honest, I actually think this is really nice. When someone is niftar, the family want to be comforted, usually by hearing about how the niftar affected others positively. If so many people are telling her children they don't know how they'll manage without her, I think that says a lot about her - she must have been a really special person! (Unless that's a sore point for her kids, if she was never with them and only there for her students?)

amother

Beige ↓

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:39 pm

Umm...a whole thread asking people to post lashon harah about fellow Yidden?

Before you post that it's not LH if anon, please ask your LOR first. Or look it up it the Chofetz Chaim's sefer on Shemiras Halashon.

amother

Aconite

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:42 pm

amother Firethorn wrote:

Whaaaaaaaatttttttt.
Ok this woman is obviously mentally ill. This is way past foot in mouth.

↑ 613mitzvahgirl

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:45 pm

It was awkward bc she yelled it in middle of a pizza shop. It took me a long while until I had the courage to going out for pizza. And even more awkward going back to that particular pizza shop was extremely hard for me to go to. You can all tell me I could’ve tried other pizza shops, bc at that time there weren’t that many in our area at the time to go to. 😢

amother

↑ Beige ↓

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:46 pm

amother Beige wrote:

amother

↑ OP ↓

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:55 pm

amother Beige wrote:

Thank you for bringing it to my attention. You are most likely right. How can I lock or delete the post?

amother

↑ Beige ↓

Thu, Mar 07 2024, 2:57 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thank you for bringing it to my attention. You are most likely right. How can I lock or delete the post?

You impress me. PM a mod.