Dh wants to give a gift to a female client - UPDATE

amother

↑ DarkKhaki ↓

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 8:57 pm

amother Emerald wrote:

Not simple halachically for a man to gift a woman. Ask a shaila.

Who is hugging these posts mentioning halacha? And why?

The gift can be from the business, not from the man personally.

amother

Currant

Mon, Jan 29 2024, 9:59 pm

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

It should be of similar value and a similar gift to what he gave the men. Many women like wine.

Wine would be highly inappropriate in my opinion.
The type of corporate gift that could work but risky in terms of a woman liking it would be like a nice water bottle, laptop bag...work related items...

↑ B'Syata D'Shmya ↓

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 12:47 am

amother Bluebonnet wrote:

It should be of similar value and a similar gift to what he gave the men. Many women like wine.

Do not give wine.
Or flowers
Or chocolate
Or clothing.
If it can be from the business great. If not it can be from him and his wife to her, a gift certificate for Dunkin Donuts, a nice book store or the like. Even if said wife never met her. It's the message and thought that counts.

WhatFor

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 1:02 am

I don't know why but I don't love the idea of a gift card for a client. It kind of feels tacky to me, I'm not totally sure why. I'm totally down with gift cards for many other occasions, but there's something about this scenario that feels off to me. Like for a client, you're still trying to "woo" them and show your competence while demonstrating appreciation. A gift card just doesn't sit right with me for this occasion.

If I were in his shoes, I'd search for a place that does luxury hampers. They sometimes do have chocolate included in them among other things, but the corporate ones are usually quite formal and there's no mistaking them for impropriety or overly personal, even where there's chocolate involved. (Obviously unless he accidentally buys a Valentine's Day one- don't do that!)

salt

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 1:40 am

amother Emerald wrote:

Not simple halachically for a man to gift a woman. Ask a shaila.

Who is hugging these posts mentioning halacha? And why?

Also for a Jew to gift a non-J.
Although it is probably permitted if it is to ensure continued good business interactions.
But 'stam' a gift to improve the relationship is עובר on לא תחונם

English3

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 1:41 am

amother DarkKhaki wrote:

The gift can be from the business, not from the man personally.

Still might be a Sheila. If I send something with dh it's not appropriate for him to give it exclusively for the woman. He can say my wife sent this for the family. Gifting is a complicated halacha that people are not aware of.

Golde

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 1:55 am

I agree with WhatFor that a gift card might not be the best choice in this scenario. Try to offer something tangible instead: a book maybe? Some artsy photo book, a novel or even a biography or the like would all be good choices imo. A nice pen, a pretty note book. These are quite neutral gifts, I think.

Beautiful

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 4:33 am

Golde wrote:

Disclaimer I done know the relevant halachos, please ask your LOR
These are really great ideas! You would want to approximately match the price range that he spent on golf/dashcam/liquor for the men.
Perhaps this is where Amazon can come in, get prime delivery for an expensive pen, coffee table book, etc and this way he has it to give to the client today.

sushilover

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 4:49 am

These are professional and available in different price points:
Nice wireless headphones
Nice tea kettle and/or expensive tea (We gave Fellow electric tea kettles as a corporate gift. Gorgeous and last for years. But you can get other beautiful ones for much cheaper.)
Something to do with coffee

Slightly less impersonal:
A leather tote bag
If she has children, a digital picture frame.

Last edited by sushilover on Tue, Jan 30 2024, 5:14 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

↑ Bluebonnet

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 4:50 am

amother Currant wrote:

Why is it inappropriate if he gave the same to her colleagues?

amother

Begonia

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 4:59 am

Where are you located? There’s a store in Cedarhurst that would be perfect for this- Blue Door Books. They can put together a really nice package- something like journal, nice pen, book, stationary, candle…

amother

DarkYellow

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 5:26 am

In my business, we gift to clients and referral sources regularly. We usually stick to uncut fruit such as pears from Harry & David. Fruit baskets are also the norm. Bigger the client, bigger the basket. Never money or gift cards. Just not professional. Also, we avoid wine and chocolate because those are taste specific. Money, chocolate trays, gift cards - those are for teachers, bus drivers and the help. Not clients or other professionals. But that's just my opinion.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 5:37 am

Good morning everyone. Dh changed his mind over the night about gift cards. Sounds weird to gift a “client” money. So far the ideas were good but nothing 💡 as of yet.

He will also double check with his Dayan to clarify the halachos and how to do it properly. We know that there’s a way to do, we just want to refresh what the specifications are.

If you stilll have any suggestions keep them coming. I’ll keep checking in.

(Sigh, it would’ve been so easy to just buy wine…)

singleagain

Tue, Jan 30 2024, 5:40 am

amother OP wrote:

If wine is what he usually gives to clients, there should be no issue to get it to a female client.

ETA as a woman. I would be very offended if I someone gave me something different than my male colleagues just because I was a woman.

Now I personally don't like wine that much. So if they said I know you don't like wine so I got you X that would be different but to be like oh you're a woman so I didn't get you wine that would bother me .