S/O midwinter - needing permission from school

amother

↑ Sunflower

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 7:37 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

Why does no one appreciate it?

Your kid shouldn’t be missing school unless there’s a very good reason. How do you think they’re making up the missed work? Whose responsibility is it? Do you know that your kid isn’t falling behind because of your random Florida vacation?

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 7:49 pm

amother Coral wrote:

I think it's an overreach.

My brother's school does not allow them to miss a single day beyond the Thursday-Tuesday vacation. My family wanted to visit my grandmother in Israel. He is not allowed to go because it's unrealistic to go there for 4 days plus travel days.

That’s really terrible! So much for chinuch….

amother

↑ Tulip ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 7:52 pm

amother Sunflower wrote:

But why do you care why my kid misses school? It’s my own kids responsibility.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 7:55 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

I have a more basic question. How can a school require 100% attendance, without any leeway on absences? And why can’t parents have autonomy over how to use those absences?

ETA: NYC DOE does not penalize students for any absences (yes, unlimited absences, just students need to be responsible and get missed homework and assignments) , why do our schools need to be more stringent on this?

So truancy doesn’t exist anymore?

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 7:58 pm

amother Sunflower wrote:

You can’t compare visiting family to a random Florida trip. Imo that’s exactly where the line should be drawn.

So children who live in cold climates who don’t have grandparents (do aunts and uncles or cousins count, or is it only grandparents?) who live in warm climates shouldn’t get a break from the cold and gloomy weather because of something that is absolutely not of their doing?

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:00 pm

amother Tulip wrote:

Why does no one appreciate it?

I mean the schools. Schools don’t appreciate when you pull your kids out on school days. All appointments should be done after school. Vacations should only be within the given days. That kind of thing.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:06 pm

behappy2 wrote:

Every school will allow a child to visit to their grandparents and you definitely can take your kid away for an extra day out of town. Schools know that kids will be absent a day before and after midwinter. You don't need to follow every rule perfectly.

Obviously not, as there are women here talking about losing points, suspension, etc. for missing a day following a vacation, when the other siblings are off and they want to go away.

amother

Leaf

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:08 pm

Ema of 5 wrote:

This is where I draw the line. My kids school makes such a fuss if u schedule an appt during school time. Like seriously when else am I supposed to take him? On Sunday at 6 pm? With my other 4 in tow? The dentist is only open certain hours and I need a time when all my others are in their own schools. And yes sometimes I'll have to take one kid out one week and the next kid for a different appointment another week. It happens. I work too. And I take off because these appointments are important and necessary!
Also, my kids have mandatory attendance the day before and after midwinter vacation. One year my 6 year old had the flu over vacation and didn't go back the day after. My other children in the same school went back like regular. And the school called me to see where she was to make sure she wasn't on vacation! I call this dumb and overreach!

notshanarishona ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:29 pm

I think taking your kid away from school for multiple days for vacation should never be done barring extenuating circumstances and then the menshlach thing is for you as a parent to take responsibility to catch your child up (don’t leave that on the teachers plate).
I don’t think a day here a day there is the end of the world.
I can see why a right wing school would prohibit visiting Florida and I kind of agree.

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:35 pm

amother Leaf wrote:

I’m not saying I agree, I’m just saying what the schools want.

amother

↑ Daffodil

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:36 pm

Funny story- a classmate of mine was absent for a week and we were all trying to reach her. Her mother sent a message she's so sick in bed u can't reach her. We were literally saying tehillim for her ...she reappeared with a pretend cough and massive sunburn. She like ya I couldn't say anything blah blah . She lost all her friends in one day Twisted Evil

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 8:48 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

We aren’t talking about multiple days though. We are talking about schools that don’t have the same vacation schedules, and missing ONE day.
And I don’t understand the an on Florida. If they’re going to ban Florida, they should ban all warmer locations- Arizona, California, etc. If the reason is lack of tznius because of the warm weather, that’s not only an issue in Florida.

amother

Natural

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:07 pm

Here in Chicago most of the Frum schools -boys, girls in elementary & high school all have off the same full week.
All schools under the ATT -an organization that supports most of the Frum schools, made it mandatory.
Still very challenging for working parents, but at least boys & girls have same vacations b"h.
There are always kids who miss a day or two b4 / after, its a non issue in my kids school. Can't say it makes the kids that stayed home feel great. But better then the alternative over controlling attitude....

amother

Winterberry

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:18 pm

hold on----- schools ban particular states so that nobody is seeing someone dressed immodestly????? I live where the windchill gets to be 20 below but at MANY times during the year you can't go into any store without seeing a woman in a tank top and shorts. that happens EVERYWHERE. Yes, I'm sure even in Lakewood Ir HaKoidesh Sheini, there's a non Jewish woman in a tank top and shorts walking around. I understand parents wanting to avoid seeing immodest dress---- but schools banning entire states for vacationing families?!?!

↑ Ema of 5 ↓

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:22 pm

amother Winterberry wrote:

I don’t know the reason why Florida in particular is banned, this is the only reason I can think of. Although to be fair, there are so many NON beach cities to go to there also….

amother

Hyssop

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 9:38 pm

Wow I am so thankful for my boys school. Obviously it’s strongly discouraged to extend vacation and I get that. But in general? If my kid misses a day or two? No one would ever say boo. Maybe the Rebbi would call to check in. My kid my issue. And yes we may go visit family for an extended weekend in March. I will prob let the rebbeim know but I won’t be asking. I’ll be telling. Thank you Hashem for Yeshiva Darchei Torah.

amother

Lavender

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 10:25 pm

I took my kids out to see their great grandfather. I just told the teachers directly and asked if they could get the work in advance. One teacher said it was a reasonable excuse, told us to "enjoy. BH he has a great grandfather alive." Another said "it's your decision, you are the parent. And it sounds lovely I hope they make good memories".

Sorry but I am going to take my kids to see their grandparents and great grandfather. If we can't schedule during time off school I will have them all take off each year Ad Meah Ve'esrim Shana.

amother

Papaya

Mon, Jan 22 2024, 11:27 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

That always seemed so unfair to me. So a family that does not have relatives in Florida should never be able to go?

And very often the "visiting grandparents" is just an excuse to have a grand vacation in Florida.

This has been the case for years already. My brooklyn high school had this rule about not going to Florida when I was there over thirty years ago. There were always girls who got around the rule by going to "visit their grandparents".

amother

Petunia

Tue, Jan 23 2024, 12:22 am

My kids have a full week (Sunday to the following Monday off). I'm taking them out of school for 2 extra days because that's what works with my schedule. BH I have multiple sets of parents and grandparents in different cities to see, and this is what works with mine and DHs schedule to be able to drive there and to spend Shabbos in 2 different places. I'm not at the point in time when I'm taking them out of school often for family Simchas. But I don't want to regret not taking my kids to see parents and grandparents, and this is when it makes the most sense for us to do it.

I do prioritize my kids Chinuch. But I also prioritize family and DHs work schedule. BH he can work remotely to some degree. When I was working we never went away because I couldn't take off. I'm currently in a Tekufa in life where I'm not working so it makes it easier.