Am I expecting too much?

amother

OP ↓

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 4:11 pm

At what age would you say that your children can bathe themselves completely independently. Please specify for girls and boys, maybe the age varies. Should a 7 year old girl be able to do this? For reference my daughter is extremely bright, mature, and has great fine motor skills but refuses to do this alone.

What about getting dressed and undressed?

amother

Nectarine ↓

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 4:14 pm

Yes getting dressed and undressed.

Showering depends. My daughter’s 7. She showers herself but doesn’t do a very good job of it. I wouldn’t be surprised if she asked me to do it for her to make it easier.

mha3484 ↓

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 4:17 pm

My boys are 7-13 and could all technically shower themself at 7 but some of them really like the company. So I tend to sit in there while they shower but they don't need me to do much.

My girl will be 5 in the spring time and she can wash her skin her self but she needs help with her hair. She has a lot of thick curly hair she still needs help rinsing the soap out. I think in a few years she should be able to do it herself.

↑ mha3484

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 4:18 pm

Dressing is another story involving ADHD meds and kids who just have a hard time in the morning.

amother

Pumpkin

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 4:37 pm

I remember my mother teaching my 8 yo brother how to wash his own hair because he was going to the pirchim siyum for the first time!
Since then from age 8 my mom tried to teach us. Some of us managed and some still needed more time.
Getting dressed - I don't know. I still dress my 6 yo. (She's ADHD and there just isn't hours of time in the morning to wait for her to do it herself)

amother

Hyacinth

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 4:37 pm

Mostly should be able to shower thenselves, but a) my 7 year still wants company and I'm usually ok to oblige and b) I don't trust him to properly soap up (when I haven't paid attention, I could smell that he didn't really do it) so while I don't physically help him, I remind him that he needs to use soap and use it everywhere and make sure he follows through. He does have adhd, so it's possible he's a little behind other 7 year Olds in this regard. My older kids also have adhd and also were like this at around that age, so I really don't have a basis for comparison.

amother

Acacia

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 4:43 pm

A 7 year old should be able to dress and undress herself independently. Personally I think she should shower independently too.

Blessing1

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 4:47 pm

It's still a normal age to need help washing their hair, but a healthy 7 year old should be dressing & undressing themselves without help.

amother

Beige

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 7:42 pm

My 7yr old is totally capable of doing it himself.
Doesn't mean he does!
One time after I got him dressed in the morning before school he told me: "ma, do you realize you got me dressed from head to toe!!" He was rolling! LOL

amother

Diamond

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 7:47 pm

6 year old son can basically shower himself in entirety. Just needs assistance with hair so I’ll wash his hair and then let him bathe or shower and do the rest when he’s ready.
Dress from head to toe by himself.

But that’s him. Idk if my others will be like that

My 4 and 6 year old also wipe themselves after #2 in the bathroom

baked ziti

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 8:03 pm

My kids all bathed independently between 5and 6. I did check my daughter's hair to make sure she washed and rinsed well. My boys were completely independent.

justforfun87

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 8:35 pm

My 7 year old showers herself, not a perfect job but enough that I don't intervene. She does ask us to turn on the water. She is the slowest to get dressed in morning but does dress independently.

amother

Denim

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 8:49 pm

My 8 year old really just started dressing himself in the past year. He could earlier but he preferred us to dress him.
He still takes baths. Not independently. We hadn’t even thought about that.
There’s no rush. He’ll get there at the right time for him.

amother

Cadetblue

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:19 pm

Dress and undress 100%. shower for boy also should be able maybe with few reminders to get everywhere. Girl probably still needs help with hair

amother

Slategray

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:22 pm

Wow your all nice , u keep your kids company ? I just say no I’m not sitting there watching u shower . 7 yr old showers herself, she’s ttly capable, when she’s really tired she’ll ask for help and I say no . I’d rather tell her to just do a quick body wash and come out .

amother

Brickred ↓

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:29 pm

amother Denim wrote:

He won't get there if you don't allow him too....
There's no reason for a parent to bathe a healthy 8 year old child. At that age, they should be wanting their privacy & space & you as their parents, need to model proper boundaries.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Dec 12 2023, 11:47 pm

So my 7 year old is able to shower herself independently but refuses! She wants me to watch her and usually gets too lazy to wash her hair! When she was 5 she showered herself but now she wants to be babied. She also makes me dress her in the morning. The only way she'll dress herself is if she is very motivated, like to make a surprise or if she's looking forward to something that day. She's literally dressed from top to bottom including buttoning her shirt and putting on tights and shoes in 2-3 minutes. She's definitely not lacking any skill here.

As much as I'd love to dress her and bathe her, I physically cannot be in 3 places at once. My hands are full, I have a bunch of little ones Baruch H-shem.