Teen is addicted to tiktok

amother

Lime

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:11 pm

I’ll be honest. Tik tok is dangerous. It is. It was created to be addictive and form opinions. My husband works in foreign intelligence and actually deals with these things. I’m not making this up or basing it on hearsay

I’d offer her a safer alternative. She’s a teenager. Tell her you’re not telling her what to do, but social media, and tik tok especially, is a hard line.
I’d rather my children watch Netflix than tik tok

amother

Goldenrod

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:23 pm

Help her. Staying up till 4 AM is addiction. She probably doesn’t want to be exhausted either. You ARE on the same team. Don’t be accusatory or get upset. Tell her you just want to help her be healthier Have a conversation with her where you ask her what she wants-does she want you to help her with more blocks/filters etc? Would she rather set a time for entertainment, like half hour a day?
Regarding the actual content-she’s 17, there’s not much you can or should do if that’s really what she wants to watch. But ask-maybe she would rather not but has a taavah for it-you can help her

amother

Garnet

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:33 pm

Those of you saying tiktok is fine, obviously aren't on tiktok. Or the teen corner of it.
Netflix or TV is absolutely better.
I also think you should step in here. Mostly to show you're on her side and want to help her.

Everyone saying she's one foot out the door etc. I had unlimited internet access from age 13 (I am 30 now). My parents were clueless and trusting. I always resented that they didn't even care enough to step in. I would stay up til all hours - doing nothing crazy, watching TV, but I could have been watching p0rn.

amother

↑ Steel

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

So what I’m asking is how. I don’t think the right thing is to hand her a computer and let her have free rein for an hour. That feels wrong to me. I have had discussions with her about it. She tells me she knows it’s wrong.

Discuss what she wants to do. If she thinks it’s wrong and wants to stop, try to help her find alternatives. Maybe offer to get her a Netflix account (but tell her you’ll block inappropriate content, if she’s okay with that). You can’t really prevent her from having free rein over anything, she’s practically an adult.

I think the right thing is to let her have the computer for whatever she wants during a normal time frame each night. Maybe she’ll be able to make better choices if she’s not so sleep deprived. Learn what she’s looking for and help her and support her- even if you don’t agree with it.

amother

Cobalt ↓

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:49 pm

She needs an alternative.
It doesn't sound like an addiction, but as others have said, this is when she's able to go online and watch stuff.
I agree with offering a Netflix account instead.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:55 pm

amother Cobalt wrote:

She needs an alternative.
It doesn't sound like an addiction, but as others have said, this is when she's able to go online and watch stuff.
I agree with offering a Netflix account instead.

And if her school found out she’ll get kicked out. That will destroy her

amother

↑ Chocolate

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 9:05 pm

amother OP wrote:

And if her school found out she’ll get kicked out. That will destroy her

I highly doubt they’d kick her out. A significant percent of high school girls in all yeshivish schools waych netflix.

amother

DarkGreen

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 9:12 pm

amother Bergamot wrote:

Another note to add. Be on her team as opposed to opposite her. It's normal for teens to explore. It's unhealthy for her to be up so late...better she have tiktik and watch in front of u, at set hours, than behind ur back...

Yes please be on her team. My parents found out I had a boyfriend at that age (pre tik tok days), were definitely not on my team, and 25 years later we still have a strained relationship. Don’t ruin your relationship over this.

amother

Stoneblue

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 9:23 pm

I would go hard and take it seriously and get rid of that computer and any other device in the house she could potentially access
It’s serious and I’d take serious measures
Lovingly and no judge mentally
It is an addiction
Treat it as such
If she were poisoning her body with drugs you would take it seriously too

She can’t unsee what she is seeing
It’s a spiritual toxic dump
Do what you can and must to protect her

amother

↑ Cobalt

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 9:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

And if her school found out she’ll get kicked out. That will destroy her

First of all, she would be far from the only one watching Netflix no doubt so that's unlikely.
Second, they'd throw her out for watching Netflix but not tiktok? Either way, she's not following their rules. If they are against Netflix, they are definitely against tiktok.
If you are worried by the content of what she's watching Netflix is a better option. And she needs an alternative. At that age, she will find one herself if you don't provide any.

amother

Firebrick

Tue, Nov 14 2023, 12:22 am

tik tok was created by china to ruin our teens brains. they don't allow tik tok in china because they know what it can do to their children.