Adhd kid- should I medicate?

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Forum -> Parenting our children -> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)

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amother

OP ↓

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 1:55 pm

My son is 9 and has many of the classic signs of adhd. He is impulsive, can't sit still for so long, hard to get him to do normal things without a lot of pushing.e.g getting dressed unless something exciting is about to happen.
His rebbe just called to say that he's not disturbing in class, but he's not with him when he's teaching. He's always somewhere else,not really sure if he's dreaming or playing with something or talking to the kid next to him.
He doesn't love learning and anything he doesn't LOVE he doesn't have much cheshek to do.
I tried to give him a prize if he concentrates, which does work.for. short amount of time,but takes a lot of energy (and money) to do.
I have been giving him NAC twice a day, which I think improves his behavior generally at home, but his Rebbe is complaining.
He said there are a few boys in the class who take pills and it really helps them.
I have been trying to avoid medicating this kid for years, because I felt like if he can manage,why get him needing pills to function. And who says he really has adhd? Maybe he just needs help in another way.
Is there anything natural that really helps? Or should I put my kid on medication so he can make his way through school?

amother

Clear ↓

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 1:58 pm

Do not medicate without a full neuropsych eval. Kids space out for many reasons and it’s not always adhd. And medication is a last resort you don’t start with it.

amother

Natural

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:05 pm

You need a full eval before meds. If it is ADHD I’m all for medication if that helps the situation but not before you find out what is going on. It can always be something else..

mha3484

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:06 pm

Honestly, I read this twice and it does not sound like he is managing in school or at home.0 I have 3 with adhd and meds have truly given them their self esteem back. It makes them feel that they can accomplish. Also helps them be more socially normal.

There are non stimulant options if thats more palatable to you. I suggest making an appointment with a psychiatrist who knows ADHD and can really explain different options to you. You are not required to give the meds but you will be more informed to decide what you want to do.

amother

Magnolia

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:07 pm

Everyone always says medication is a last resort and they all wind up medicating in the end. A lot of boys take it. A lot. Check his hearing and vision first, and then do an evaluation. If they say to medicate, just do it. Don't waste time and money on natural stuff that doesn't work. And don't waste precious years of your son's self esteem.

amother

Mustard

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

He might be managing, but it doesn’t sound like he’s thriving.

Unfortunately, many parents think this way, and then the boys grow up, get married, and their wives are crying about the lack of executive functioning skills and that their husbands are unemployed.

I’m not a mental health expert, but, logically, someone who’s diagnosed with adhd and in therapy and taking meds from a young age, has an advantage in life, over those who “ignored” the issue.

Btw, it doesn’t have to be medicine or not. Therapy might be able to teach him skills. Or a different school that requires less sitting time

(My husband has a childhood diagnosis that was brushed off, because he was managing. He’s still suffering today, and the rest of the family is, too.)

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:07 pm

I'm in Israel, so I would have to find out where to get that evaluation done and it probably costs a fortune

amother

↑ Clear

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm in Israel, so I would have to find out where to get that evaluation done and it probably costs a fortune

Since you live in israel is it much worse recently? Could it be trauma related?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:17 pm

That's right, he's managing but definitely not thriving. I really want to help him. I have taken him to OT in the past to try and help him.
I would rather give him pills than move him to a special Ed cheder though.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:20 pm

It's not worse recently,just his rebbe called me about it tonight to see if I had followed up on the adhd diagnosis we discussed earlier in the year.

amother

Plum

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:40 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm in Israel, so I would have to find out where to get that evaluation done and it probably costs a fortune

It’s actually significantly cheaper in israel

Success10

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 2:45 pm

A full evaluation can be 3500 shekels. A private adhd evaluation by a neurologist can be upwards of 1500 shekels. Or like 36 shekels through the kupah (But it's far from thorough. It's just a checklist. And it always ends with a prescription)

miami85

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 3:43 pm

The most important thing to think about is "has he always been like this" or is there a change in his behavior. For example, when I got my son evaluated for ADHD I knew that he was "always moving" even as a toddler. Now when he takes his medication it's like you can tell it's working because before the medication he cannot transition away from his activity, then lightbulb goes on and he can switch at one request. I used to not be a fan of medication and then I saw how my son functions when he's ON it changed my mind.

amother

Almond

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 3:52 pm

Before meds, I would try to change his diet. Cut out sugar & gluten, try to limit carbs to the least possible. No food coloring. Drink only water. Lot's of protein and veggies.
A change in diet along with some therapy may do a world of good.
A good neuro eval is also crucial.
Good luck!

amother

Honeysuckle

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 3:57 pm

If he truly has ADHD, as idk how the diagnosis has been determined, he sounds very internally distracted. Children with ADHD can hyperfocus on things that interest them a lot which fools us into expecting it other times but their brain is not wired in a way to do it, that is why prizes and bribed don't help. Op, it sounds like your son is too distracted to learn effectively in school, the educational gap will continue to grow building into more of a struggle. He is also struggling with daily activities at home and that is a frustration for both him and you. Medication is not for everyone, but for many it is a tool that can help them learn both academically and the life skills to be able to function and thrive. It does not teach but will enable the brain to learn what is taught. A proper eval and discussion about pros and cons with a professional sounds like a great idea
In my personal experience, I was hesitant to medicate and felt my child was "functioning" but at what effort and price. Medication enabled my child to focus and learn more easily and thrive.

amother

Dill

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 4:00 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

That's not true.

I have 2 kids with adhd.

One was diagnosed with adhd, asd, odd, ocd and gad and taurettes (it wasn't stimming it was old fashioned bad regular nonstop constant tics. And it was HORRIBLE for her).
All that and it was insanity in my house.

We did not want to medicate becuase, where to start? Where to end? I felt like there is a lot more to this. She has a chill nature. So overall when things went her way, things were calm and we avoided confrontation at all costs.

We eneded up going the natural route.
Lots of vitamins, brain gym, craniosacral, ot, and executive functioning skills. Therapy for myslef how to deal with her. She learned to swallow pills at a very young age.
She took upwards of 6 vitamins at once.

It's 4 years later. At this point the only diagnosis she qualifies for is adhd (inattentive) and taurettes. This year is a very intense year in school, and we started her on a non stimulant.
She's doing beautifully bh. Still struggling in some areas. But really thriving in others.
At this point she iss "mechanach-able" for years I didn't feel like we were able to be her m'chanach because she was in such a state. But now she is finally in a state I feel like I can be her m'chanach. And she's slowly turning into such a mench it's mamish a nes.

So natural DOES work. But sometimes it isn't enough.

My other kid has adhd (hyperactive) too. We've been so busy and in such survival mode with her older sister she kinda was overlooked. But we started her on extracurriculars where she can appropriately give off some extra steam. Cranio sacral and brain gym, reflex, integration, ot she takes nac, methylated (because my oldest has homozygous mtfhr factor so we are treating and assuming she has too) B vitamins and some others.
Agape by awaken is amazing. It literally helped heal my oldest child.

Honestly, medicating her would likely have been easier in the long run, but it would have been a bandaid and then she would have had to deal with the side affects.
She's growing and developing beautifully. I do not regret one phone call, one sleepless night. All those thousands of dollars we paid in therapies (most of them were out if pocket
Some of them were 300 a visit) and vitamins. I don't regret all these vacations we didn't take and and our old house we never got to renovate. Other than basics ALL our money goes for this. And I don't regret it ONE BIT. I regret nothing. Because it gave us this beautiful growing self aware kind child.

amother

Burgundy

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 4:08 pm

Is he hyper or could he have ADD as suppose to ADHD.
Please get him checked.
Ritalin these days are modified so they effect much less as they wear off during the day. Make sure you start slowly, a few days of quarter/ half doses. And keep asking about his emotions, there are some children that it can make them depressed. If is the case there is a private DR in Israel with a alternative that does help but costs a lot and he is far from Jerusalem.

I have a young child on Ritalin and have seen such a different.
She was managing in gan/ school but found it harder to concentrate and work sheets mostly came back half done even though she knew her stuff. The teacher would drop things so that my DD could have an excuse to pick it up. Was great at first until she felt singled out. At home was also hard for her to do tasks without constant repeats and broken down instructions which frustrated her as she was understanding just not able to put her brain to do it
We got her evaluated and put her on Ritalin a very low dose with out telling the teacher. 2 month later the teacher was telling me how suddenly she has changed and is doing so well in class and her confidence as well was amazing. Only then we told her she was on Ritalin.

This was for a girl who get so many more school breaks then boys. If your son is struggling he will associate learning with struggling and may soon resent it.
As long as the side effects are small if he does take medication, it is alot better than the feeling of uncontrolled failing.

amother

Black

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 4:13 pm

I did a full eval for my son

Than I read Smart but scattered and ADD book by epes a doctor - forgot the name

I wrote out on a card - excerpts from the book which dealt with meds- when to give
and when I read it - I realized - yep - my kid needs meds

THANK G-d I gave it to him

GAME CHANGER

amother

Waterlily ↓

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 4:50 pm

Read the book finally focused by Dr James Greenblatt, it walks you through natural protocols that address the root causes of adhd.
In addition, you can try diet modification, treating Strep, yeast and parasites, craniosacral therapy, and classical homepathy.
You can expect a single supplement to work as effectively as a drug, but that doesn't mean that natural interventions don't work. They work if you address the entire picture. It's involved but so so worth it.
Is dd a mouth breather? Does she snore, have sleep apnea, have enlarged tonsils or adenoids, crowded teeth?

amother

Obsidian ↓

Mon, Oct 30 2023, 4:57 pm

[quote="amother Wallflower"]Read the book finally focused by Dr James Greenblatt, it walks you through natural protocols that address the root causes of adhd.
In addition, you can try diet modification, treating Strep, yeast and parasites, craniosacral therapy, and classical homepathy.
You can expect a single supplement to work as effectively as a drug, but that doesn't mean that natural interventions don't work. They work if you address the entire picture. It's involved but so so worth it.
Is dd a mouth breather? Does she snore, have sleep apnea, have enlarged tonsils or adenoids, crowded teeth?[/quote]

If yes, then what?

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