I`m from Stamford Hill, London AMA

amother

↑ White ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 3:20 pm

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

Hey thanks for your reply... You ttly didnt get my post at all! quite on the contrary I am not bitter and the post wasnt meant to be negative I was just highlighting the many negative parts of the community so people can see it and change! it's a shame that people take it as a fact that this is what it is! no it can and should change! And no the school I went to was satmar which I would say probably only 10% of my class are satmar and no I would never send my child there as you say! not because I am bitter but because I want better for my children!! and obviously bullying can happen in any school I was just highlighting that this happened in the biggest school here and people are OK with it!! and that is the problem! bullying especially by staff should by highly discouraged! and I am so happy for you that you were taught middos and love and kindess in your school! I would love to know which school you went to! and I am confused with you saying you were black tights but shabbos groups you dont? so your wearing even though the school doesnt allow it? unless you send to YHS or BY... I highly encourage respecting rules, the problem is when the rules are so strict eveyone is breaking them or angry about them, what does this teach the children?? And bh in your school they didnt cover the world love but that doesnt change the fact that I did see a local cheder cross it out... and that is sad! and I wish people would know better! I am bh very happy where I am and who I am and your right my post might have sounded negative but sometimes its important to highlight the issues to know what to improve...

I knew it!
They are known for their extremism.
What year did you graduate?

amother

↑ Valerian ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 3:29 pm

I agree with what you all of you are saying. I was in BCL and send my kids there too. My school experience was good; nothing like tiffanyblue describes, but I wouldn't credit the school with my yiddishkeit.

I think it may be a worldwide problem that subjects and 'hashkafa' and tznius are taught, but somehow the heart of what yiddishkeit is, does not get transmitted or absorbed. The focus on externals is insane. I find it very sad too.

Yes, I wear black tights although the school officially does not allow it. I do not believe in breaking rules, but for people who would say I should choose a different school-- It's strange what goes on there. I would estimate probably 30% of the mothers wear black tights, and I am not considered 'more modern' than the parent body by any means. The school have jumped on the 'frum' bandwagon, and their rules do not reflect what majority of the parent body wants at all. Or what the school was set up to be. It's as if the rules and the hanholo are one part, and what actually happens; the staff and the students/parents are quite another...

I also wish there was a way to shake up this place. For people to become more real and vulnerable, and human and friendly. For the perfection and 'image obsession' to end. For people to be able to drop their guard, and just be friendly and chilled. Again, although this is perhaps an international thing- I do belive we suffer more from it here because of the 'cold' mentality.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 3:36 pm

amother White wrote:

I knew it!
They are known for their extremism.
What year did you graduate?
I dont want to say which school I went to b/c I mentioned earlier which school and year I graduated

Why does everyone in Stamford Hill look down on Satmar School? I had a very good school experience BH. Only about 50% of my classmates came from Satmar families, and we had all sorts. A real mix. I don`t feel like I have to stick up for my school, and yes every school has negative parts to it but I am asking why it has such a negative overview? When I worked in a certain chassidish school here in SH, the other staff were always making disparaging comments about Satmar-literally putting them down and mocking things about them, and they couldn`t care that I was in the room. BH I now work in YHS and everyone there is so respectful and welcoming, I have never once felt looked down upon for covering my sheitel or wearing beige tights. Nobody there cares that I attended Satmar and I genuinely feel accepted for who I am inside, not for the way I look. Can anyone who views Satmar school negatively please enlighten me why?

amother

↑ Beige ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 3:45 pm

amother OP wrote:

Do you work in seniors?

amother

↑ Tiffanyblue ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 3:45 pm

Op I do not look down on satmar school as a whole! and chas veshalam dont look down on anyone! There are unfortuantely very uneducated people around though who are not doing a favor to the klal by being in the positions they are in... as Valerian mentiones the hanholes of the moisdes are totally not on the same page as the student/ parent body and that is a real shame! it's like stamford hills mission is to change what colour tights we wear not to make us good healthy yiddin! bh I can credit my yiddishkeit to places like torahanytime and other places where I have learnt so so much but unfortunately no I cannot credit my yiddishkeit to my school education and I wish my children would be able to have that rather than have to look elsewhere like I did! and I am lucky I found the truff I unfortunately have 8+ classmates/ freinds that went OTD and its heartbreaking!!!! As someone that went through the system and come from the same place as them I can see the failures and where everyone is going wrong and I wish I can iyh do my part to make Stamford Hill a better place! I just heard how YHS is encouraging their primary students to wear white tights on shabbos and none of the parents want it but the kids only get rewards if the parents sign that they did so they resort to lying about it!! is this what we want to teach our children?? Kol hakovad if your mesorah is to wear white tights and wear it with pride but it's all about forcing people to fit a certain external mold but when it comes to the inside that it not really spoken about much...

amother

↑ Beige ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 3:46 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

I agree that the hanholo of BCL is a lot frummer than the parent body.
The actual students are not so different to the YHS crowd - I say this having taught there.

amother

↑ Tiffanyblue ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 3:47 pm

amother Navy wrote:

I actually went to YHS and had a lot of Satmer friends. They all came to Beis Yakov in those days. I still keep up with them today. They were the nicest bunch and they all loved school!

You must be way older than me because in my days we were not allowed to attend Bais Yaakov... And I understand where your coming from! Those days were a lot simpler!! just compare the rule book of the schools from then and now and compare the state of the secular world then and now...

amother

↑ Tiffanyblue ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 3:51 pm

Valerian I feel like you really understand me! its all about the heart of yiddishkeit and that is what I feel is missing here in stamford hill... im not saying not from anywehre else prob many communities suffer from this but I can only talk from what I am familar with... I was just listening to a shuir that I follow and the last one really he talks about such a point here is the link for anyone who likes good shiurim like me https://www.torahanytime.com/#.....60677

amother

↑ Valerian ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 4:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm going to try to say this gently, and please don't take personal offense.
Satmar in general is pretty extreme about some things, so for people who are not affiliated, it just rubs us the wrong way. Satmar shites are very different to mainstream chassidish.

I just want to say also that having subbed a little, and done observing for teacher's training in satmar school (going back 15years or so) What you are saying about other schools is exactly what I felt about satmar. I remember staff members looking me up and down and really desperately trying to figure out who I am (yachne style). As if deciding if I am a worthy enough member of society according to my background. I felt so intimidated.

I know that many satmar girls are very shtoltz of their school; which is nice-- but why does this have to extend to making 'everyone else' feel somehow 'less than'?

The girls in the school also have a name of being very into brands, and that the richer girls, and ones with yichus are automatically admired, and more popular. I do not know if this is true in real life; I'm just telling you how many people view things.

Again, you sounds wonderful, and try not to take this as an attack. I only say this 'cuz you asked. Trust me, I know many people despise the school I went to and send to... and I do agree that no place is perfect!

amother

↑ Navy ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 4:05 pm

amother Tiffanyblue wrote:

In my days Zeldy Weiss was head of Beis Yakov and her daughters went to Satmer school and came every week with all their friends and they also came to camp. I may be alot older than you!

amother

↑ Hyacinth ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 4:06 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

I can't claim to know anything about any of the schools being discussed here. I just think we're going a bit off topic. It sounds like a typical discussion about chassidish schools all over the world. Not at all exclusive to Stamford hill.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sat, Oct 28 2023, 4:07 pm

amother Valerian wrote:

Thanks for your response, don`t worry I am not offended.

I know everyone thinks that Satmar girls are into brand names, and yes some are but since working in YHS I see that a very large percentage of the students there wear labels and brand names! Could be because Satmar have some rich families, the oilem gets the impression that 'everyone' wears brands but it is not always the case, as far as I know.