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Forum
-> The Social Scene
amother
Crocus
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 9:17 am
amother Cognac wrote: | I don't think it makes someone a superwoman. It simply means someone is extremely fertile and had unprotected sx and got pregnant when each baby was a tiny little newborn |
Being able to do a great job mothering the three is what makes her a superwoman.
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amother
NeonGreen
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 9:20 am
My mother know someone who had triplets, twins, triplets. 8 kids under 3.
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amother
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 9:26 am
amother Crocus wrote: | Being able to do a great job mothering the three is what makes her a superwoman. |
No one will know if she actually did a good job mothering them when they were infants. They won’t remember those years.
I say this as someone who grew up in a very very large family. I am scared to think about how much attention and affection I received as a baby. There were so many of us and only 1 of her. Emotionally and physically, I wonder how my mom actually handled those years.
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amother
Burntblack
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 9:41 am
It's not natural or ideal
Every baby deserves to be a cherished baby for a while without being bumped to big sister or brother as soon as possible
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amother
Black
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 9:44 am
amother Burntblack wrote: | It's not natural or ideal
Every baby deserves to be a cherished baby for a while without being bumped to big sister or brother as soon as possible |
How is it not natural? The only way for this to happen is by not taking extra measures to prevent it.
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amother
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 10:08 am
amother Burntblack wrote: | It's not natural or ideal
Every baby deserves to be a cherished baby for a while without being bumped to big sister or brother as soon as possible |
I 1000% agree
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amother
Aconite
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 11:08 am
amother Birch wrote: | No one will know if she actually did a good job mothering them when they were infants. They won’t remember those years.
I say this as someone who grew up in a very very large family. I am scared to think about how much attention and affection I received as a baby. There were so many of us and only 1 of her. Emotionally and physically, I wonder how my mom actually handled those years. |
What do you mean no one will know if she did a good job morhering?
You know how yoi feel. If you feel good and that yiu mofher waa a goid mother who cares what specific actions she did or didnt have.
Why are you "scared"? Youre an adukt now, yku know the outcome.
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Ema of 5
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 1:28 pm
amother Cognac wrote: | I don't think it makes someone a superwoman. It simply means someone is extremely fertile and had unprotected sx and got pregnant when each baby was a tiny little newborn |
Being able to cope with it is what makes someone superwoman. I think that’s what OP was referring to.
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Ema of 5
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 1:32 pm
amother NeonGreen wrote: | My mother know someone who had triplets, twins, triplets. 8 kids under 3. |
Holy macaroni!!!!!
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#BestBubby
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 3:36 pm
My DD has that, first two 12 months apart,
3rd 14 month later
So 3 in 26 months.
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#BestBubby
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 3:38 pm
amother Black wrote: | How is it not natural? The only way for this to happen is by not taking extra measures to prevent it. |
It seems in olden days women nursed 2 years
And did not get pregnant while nursing
So most were around 3 years apart.
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amother
Purple
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:16 pm
I have 3 in 28 months. I am not a great mother to them. Even though I naturally love kids, its been a couple of years and each day is still torture. But this was not by choice and I am doing the best I can.
OP are you the oldests of the family or youngests? Sometimes older siblings can be a help. Did any of you have any conditions that made things even harder?
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amother
Junglegreen
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:22 pm
I was young and dumb, and had 3 in 21 months, and one more 16 months later. It traumatized me. My emotional health was affected and my marriage suffered. There's no way my kids don't have scars even though they claim not to remember those years.
Ladies. Don't do it to yourself or your kids!
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amother
Mintcream
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Fri, Oct 06 2023, 4:58 pm
amother Junglegreen wrote: | I was young and dumb, and had 3 in 21 months, and one more 16 months later. It traumatized me. My emotional health was affected and my marriage suffered. There's no way my kids don't have scars even though they claim not to remember those years.
Ladies. Don't do it to yourself or your kids! | why’d you do it’s? Especially after the first time? I had my first two close together because a rav didn’t let me take birth control and my mistake was listening to him but it wasn’t what I had wanted
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amother
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Mon, Oct 09 2023, 12:29 am
I do think that in these situations some women do better in the younger years and then crash in her later years
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amother
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Mon, Oct 09 2023, 1:40 am
amother Aconite wrote: | What do you mean no one will know if she did a good job morhering?
You know how yoi feel. If you feel good and that yiu mofher waa a goid mother who cares what specific actions she did or didnt have.
Why are you "scared"? Youre an adukt now, yku know the outcome. |
I know how I feel, that’s the problem! My mother tried her best, but I’m dealing with childhood emotional neglect, cptsd, and in trauma therapy. I don’t know how deeply rooted my issues are. I only remember my later years, maybe 5 and up? And my memories are very spotty.
Im scared because if the neglect started from infancy the recovery is a lot more difficult.
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familyfirst
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Mon, Oct 09 2023, 1:55 am
Then don’t go digging for problems
Therapy is supposed to be of help
If it’s impacting your resilience then don’t dig
Be thankful for your siblings and grateful to your mom for doing the best she could
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amother
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Mon, Oct 09 2023, 2:09 am
familyfirst wrote: | Then don’t go digging for problems
Therapy is supposed to be of help
If it’s impacting your resilience then don’t dig
Be thankful for your siblings and grateful to your mom for doing the best she could |
Lol I’m in therapy because I have problems! I’m not “digging” for them, they’re ruining my life!!
I am thankful, that doesn’t mean having so many kids so close to together wasn’t a stupid idea. There should be a big “do not try this at home” warning somewhere. Instead people romanticize it.
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amother
Lemon
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Mon, Oct 09 2023, 4:25 am
I always thought that Irish triplets were 3 born in a single year.
My great-grandmother had my grandmother in January 1920 and gave birth to twins (2 months premature) in December 1920.
I can’t fathom how she did it, they didn’t even have disposable diapers. (I also imagine they didn’t have very effective BC.) She also cared for her elderly FIL at the time.
I definitely don’t have her energy or perseverance.
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amother
Khaki
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Mon, Oct 09 2023, 6:38 am
#BestBubby wrote: | It seems in olden days women nursed 2 years
And did not get pregnant while nursing
So most were around 3 years apart. |
So let's go back to malnutrition and hard physical labor so we can't get pregnant while nursing...
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